The rest of the day I spent boiling over with nervousness about that night, and thinking about how my whole identity could have possibly been a lie.

I went home hoping no one was there.

Well, I walked into the kitchen to find my mom making lunch. 

"Hey babe, you said you were meeting a friend?...how was that?" She began to cut the sandwiches. "It's quite unusual actually." 

She looked up at me as if she could see right through me.

I reached back in and held the cherry blossom in my pocket.

".....For some reason it feels kind of like...a security blanket..."

"I haven't seen you make any new friends.....it's always been.."

"Just Haru and Luke.." I said as I politely refused the sandwich she offered me.

I clenched the cherry blossom even tighter.

"At this rate I'm going to crush it..where did he even get a Cherry Blossom anyway?...it's the middle of fall...wait that's not important right now."

"That's....that's because..."

This time she cut me off. "Because of your father right?"

I looked at her in surprise. "How did she know?..." 

I didn't say anything, just nodded my head.

"He means well Coy.." 

"I know.." I started..

"But he wants to make sure you look good in the public eye...that's why he wanted you to only make friends out of the church." She poured herself a cup of coffee.

I furrowed my eyebrows and started to subconsciously grind my teeth.

"Again with this public eye bull shit." 

She then sat a cup of coffee in front of me and looked down at my clenched fists.

"Your dad is running a youth group right now so he isn't home."

"So whaa..."       "He wanted you to attend." She said staring straight into my eyes.

"Mom!"

"Luke." She started.

 I looked up at her startled.

"Has he heard from his father?"

I just stared dumbfound.

swallow

I released my fists.

"No...." Was all I could say as I looked down.

"What...what in the hell?"  I thought. "How much does she know??....I told them both that Luke went to live with his grandmother because it was a closer commute to the school.." I began to sweat.

"Hmmm.." Was all she said about the subject. She turned and began to walk to her room saying she had a head ache, letting her long brown hair loose. She's so beautiful, many of the guys at school have a crush on her. She does not look her age, and on top of that she has a fit body from running each morning, and freckles that pave a path from her cheek, across her nose, onto her other cheek. "I guess that's where I got my freckles..."

She briefly turned around, brown eyes once again staring through my soul. "Your coffee is going to get cold."

"I already had coffee....at the cafe' down the road." 

She crossed her arms. 

"Oh. So with your new friend?" She sounded so bland when she said it..."Like an empty shell.."

"A...a...new friend....yes.......also I'll be home late....we are going to the movies later.." I closed my eyes waiting for the worst. 

"I see." She said very dryly. 

I opened my eyes. Her answer surprised me.

"Just...just don't let your father know....no matter what...okay?" This time she had her face scrunched and looked quite desperate.

"O....okay..." I stammered. "There is something going on...what is this?..."

As her hand grabbed the door nob to her room she whispered in a voice that I could barely hear. 

"I love you Coy....so much..." 

She looked as if she was going to cry. 

"Mom..."

She then smiled. However, the smile looked so forced...  "And the bags under her eyes.....just what in the hell is going on.."

At that very moment all I could think about was how I needed to talk to someone. I pulled out my phone.

*Sigh..*

"It's pretty sad that a teenage guy only has five contacts in his phone...." I began to look at the small inquiry of people close to me.

"Mom, dad? obviously not.." 

"Luke, once again obviously not, because it's partially about him."

"Hmmm....Haru? no... we never told him about what happened between Luke and his dad.........dammit!....Then who?!?"

I froze.

The last name I looked at made my heart almost jump out of my chest. It was Labeled, "My Stalker."

His face came to my mind.

Thump Thump Thump

"My heart again...."

I pulled the Cherry Blossom out and sighed as I stared at it feeling my heart sink.

"I wonder just what it is that even makes me think he will talk to me seriously..."

"Why do I even want him to talk about it with that guy?..."  Tears came to my eyes, and I had no idea why.

"With who?" I heard a voice from behind me and I became stiff as a board.

"Dd...dad?"