The feeling of his soft hands was still burned into Kaleb’s body. He could still see his eccentric eyes and his shy smirk. The way he always knew what to say to make Kaleb laugh currently made him sick to his stomach. He hated these damn dreams. He hated seeing him in his dreams, no, his nightmares, but still being unable to see him in real life. He wanted nothing more than to hold his love forever and never let him go, but that wasn’t possible for them. He wanted to go find him, but he couldn’t see him again for God knows how long. It could be another fifty years or more before he saw his Spence again.

Theirs was a special kind of love. Spencer was part of a race called the Electi. This meant he unknowingly reincarnated sporadically and forgot his previous life, seemingly never to remember those past lives. Kaleb had always managed to find him eventually once their bond kicked in. They met about every 16-30 years and usually fell in love all over again. Kaleb waited and waited for Spencer to remember their previous love. None of his incarnations had remembered so far and Kaleb knew he couldn’t simply tell him.

Upon meeting Spencer for the very first time and falling head over heels for the boy, Kaleb had unintentionally bound himself to the other. He hadn’t even realized it until he’d woken one morning nose bleeding and feeling like there was genuinely a piece of himself missing, a hole. The bond made him aware of when Spencer was hurt or very emotional. The bond kicked in whenever it felt like it. Basically, it all depended on timing of the reincarnation. Usually, when Kaleb felt the bond kick in, he’d run into Spencer within a month or so. He hadn’t felt the bond for a while and was starting to miss it, even with its headaches and nosebleeds.

Kaleb pulled the covers off of himself and wiped his damp face violently. Seeing the clock next to the bed said it was 3:24 AM, he groaned and trudged to the kitchen to get the coffee maker going. It had been 22 years since he’d last seen Spencer and though he’d gotten used to the idea of only getting so much time together roughly every twenty years, he didn’t have to like it. He kept searching and waiting for Spencer. He was waiting for him to someday hopefully remember how they’d met and fallen in the most devoted love.

After a long morning of trying and failing to relax and wake up properly, Kaleb had decided to go get coffee one of the coffee shops he’d been going to for many years now. The shop had changed a lot over the past 50 or so years that Kaleb had resided in the city. He remembered the first time he came here for a drink and it was a nice, vintage look. It’d changed gradually over time, sort of like people. Or the leaves in Fall.

He absolutely loved fall. It was currently a week or so before the made up first day of Fall. He always loved watching the transition between the bright, green Summer to the colorful, stunning Fall. He couldn’t wait for Halloween, to see the mortals doing their traditions. To see the leaves change and to see the joy of the humans. He would never admit it to anyone, but he was sometimes a bit jealous over the mortals and their seeming innocence. They could enjoy their holidays while the otherworldly had to keep order maintained. The otherworldly had abilities and unwanted responsibilities they had to keep in check.

Kaleb joined the back of the line and waited patiently for everyone to order their coffee. He sighed internally for his coffee addiction, but decided it was a healthier addiction than others. Some immortals did some hard drugs to ward off some of the pain of the disease they all bore. He had done that many years ago, the drugs. He’d tried it and gotten a bit too deep for his liking and his friend had helped him out of the hole.

Now, he took certain medicines, both otherworldly and of the mortal world. He hated the disease more and more the older he had gotten, but he’d met Spencer the first time and suddenly was feeling things he didn’t think he could feel as an immortal. Sure, he’d thought he’d been in love before Spencer, all with women, but it wasn’t the same. He’d never felt so heavily as he did about Spencer. Kaleb hadn’t even found a guy attractive before Spencer, so it was a very different experience.

The first time they’d met, it was in 1902. It had been a chance meeting and Kaleb had literally ran into Spencer. The other had been very sweet and understanding, causing Kaleb to apologize again. Spencer had smiled and told him there was nothing to apologize for. He introduced himself, shaking Kaleb’s hand real proper. He had been wearing a waistcoat, the normal attire in that decade. His smile made Kaleb’s stomach flip, quite uncomfortably. He didn’t know what he was meant to say, so he apologized once more, before Spencer smirked and asked if he wanted to go to the nearest pub and get drinks. Kaleb hadn’t the slightest idea why the other man would have asked him and why he agreed. He thought it’d be fun, relaxing maybe?

To this day, Kaleb wasn’t sure if Spencer even knew why he’d asked Kaleb for the drink back then. It was a common enough thing for guys to go out together for drinks together, but it was less common considering the outcome. Being with another man was a sin, as they all knew. It was not a thing to be done. There were states where they could and would gladly kill or punish anyone caught having homosexual relationships. Spencer may not have known what he was doing in that incarnation.

Back then, Kaleb had dated plenty of women, but never found himself in love with or attracted to a man. He’d been so confused when he’d kissed Spencer that first time, only for Spencer to give him a confused look, smile slightly, and kiss him back. They had been extremely careful in hiding their relationship back then. Kaleb had never felt that kind of love with anyone and he knew he wouldn’t give it up because of society’s opinions. They had continued to keep their relationship a secret; pretending to be very good friends, keeping up a reputation in the public eye, and keeping their private life together in the safety of their homes.

Kaleb was broken out of his thoughts by a unwarranted touch on his back and he noticed all of the older men with nasty beards and awful teeth. He shifted slightly as to not be touched again, but found someone beside him pushing their way to one of the tables and he bit his lip. His heart was already pounding and he was sweating slightly from the unwanted touching. He knew it was a regular thing; people have to touch each other at some point. They bumped into each other all the time. He just got like this sometimes. He hated it. He was always like this and worse when it came to guys. He hated the majority of men. It brought back bad memories, things he would much rather forget for all of eternity, rather than living it again and again on a daily basis.

It brought back that terrible day in the barn with that awful old man and how he’d be the first of many to hurt Kaleb in a way no one should ever be hurt. He’d been the first out of many. Kaleb was six the first time it’d happened. He hadn’t known what it was, or what it meant, but he knew it hurt and he wanted it to stop. He felt his heart stop as he curled his fists so tight his palm was bleeding from his nails. He’d trusted that man. He had been a friend of his parents, almost an uncle to Kaleb, and they’d trusted him, so Kaleb had trusted him.

“Next,” the barista said and Kaleb walked to order his coffee. Then, he waited his turn while they made his drink, calling his name a few moments later. He smiled and thanked them politely for the coffee. Turning to walk away, he ran into something- no, someone- spilling coffee all over. He internally cursed himself for his lack of coordination.

“I’m so sor-” Kaleb finally looked at the person he’d spilled his coffee all over, realizing the other person was a few inches or so shorter than him. Kaleb’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped comically as he was looking at his long lost lover, Spencer. “Spence? Oh my god. I mean, I’m, uh, I’m so sorry.” Why did it always have to be this way? Why did Kaleb always have to run into him? And quite literally, too. The other guy looked at him like he was crazy, which was a logical response to some stranger calling you by a nickname and staring at you for an unnecessary amount of time.

“It’s okay? Do you want me to get you another coffee?” He had already somehow found napkins and was wiping himself down and cleaning it from the floor. He looked Kaleb over and brought a napkin to his collarbone, nearly giving Kaleb a heart attack at the sudden contact. Then, Kaleb noticed that Spencer had on a name tag and the same polo as the barista. It was then that Kaleb realized how lucky he was. At least Spencer wouldn’t be overly confused over a stranger knowing his name. “What’s your name, by the way?”

“Oh, no. I’m good. Sorry again and thank you. Kaleb,” Kaleb muttered awkwardly, biting his lip and hoping Spencer wouldn't think him too socially inept.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to get you another? Like on Saturday?” At this, Kaleb gaped slightly before reigning it in again. This caused Spencer to smirk and chuckle slightly. It was unreal how flustered Spencer could make Kaleb, no matter how old Kaleb was or how many times they’d been through this. Every time they met was new and interesting. Spencer always seemed to have this effect on Kaleb like no one else had ever before. Kaleb had always loved him for it. He’d never felt a lot of things before he met Spencer. Right now, Kaleb wanted to both disappear for his awkwardness and hug Spencer forever. If he agreed to go out with Spencer, they were already sure to see each other again. Of course he would say yes to Spencer. He could never say no to that boy before, so why try now?

“Well, I have to get back to work now, but here,” He took out a piece of paper and a pen from his pocket and scribbled something down before placing it in Kaleb’s hand. Kaleb almost shivered at the touch, missing Spencer’s warm arms around him. So this incarnate of Spencer was certainly one of the most out there versions, he guessed. And how did this Spencer even know if Kaleb was straight or not? “See you later?”

Kaleb smiled openly and nodded slightly. This boy was going to be the actual death of him. “See you later.” Then, he waved and left the shop with less coffee, but more hope.