1 Month Later
“Ilene, I haven’t seen you enough, we should hang out some.”
“Hey, Ilene, haven’t heard from you in a bit.”
“Aw, what happened to your hair? You cut it short like that?”
“Girl, you haven’t responded to my text in like two weeks!”
“Hey, I noticed you seem more tired. You okay? Talk to me if you need anything.”
“What the fuck, Ilene? You used to sit and talk to us all the time. I’m your best fucking friend but I haven’t seen you in like three weeks. You’re not supposed to just ditch us to be with your goddamn control freak boyfriend all the time!”
“Ilene, I’m worried about how close you’re getting with this boy. It’s taking up all your time, I noticed you spend more time with him than doing anything else. You should be going outside, hanging out with your friends, not spending all your time with your boyfriend. It’s fine to love someone, baby, but this is a bit too much. It’s okay, you’re still young. You can always find someone to love, but don’t sacrifice your childhood.”
“Hey.”
“Hey…”
“First time in a long time you’ve picked up your phone. Hayden finally go to sleep or some shit?”
“Vena, please… I don’t know how to make everyone happy. I’m so tired, I don’t even sleep well anymore…”
“For fuck’s sake, it sounds like you’re in a fucking abusive relationship.”
“No! It’s not abusive at all, he never hits me or says anything mean at all-”
“He doesn’t have to be hitting you to be abusing you! You’ve been changing so much, I hardly recognize you. These things you wear, everything you do… do you like them or does he?”
“I like them, Vena, Jesus. You really don’t understand a thing. You’re living on the outside, you can’t know what it’s like being on the other side of something you don’t get. Oh…”
“What?”
“I got to go.”
“Oh, fuck, is he calling again? Can’t you just tell him you’ll talk lat-”
“Sorry, Vena.”
Ilene hung up the phone and answered Hayden’s call.
“Hey, baby. Hm? No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take so long to answer. Yeah, I’d love to hang out after school, I just have to study a bit. Yeah, we can hang at the library together, I-I don’t mind at all. Hey… I’m wearing that dress you like. Yeah… Okay, see you soon. Hm? No, I’m, uh… I’ll be fine.”
Hanging up the phone, Ilene rushed out of her room, her backpack bouncing off her arm. Her lily-patterned, loose white dress fluttered as she ran to the kitchen and grabbed a cold bagel.
“I’m off, Nana,” she said.
“Wait,” Emilia said, “let me talk to you for a moment, Ilene.”
The girl stopped in front of the door with a sigh, tapping her foot. “What is it, Nana?”
“Sweetie, this boy you’ve been dating, I’m worried how you been behaving around him. Now, I know, a boy that’s charming will do wonders to you, but-”
“We’ve already had this discussion and I told you it’s not like that. Like at all.”
“I know, but baby, your mother was just the same way. You have to understand, it’s right harder to see yourself than it is for someone else to see you. And I love you, but I have to protect you.”
“Nana, there’s nothing to protect, I swear to you. I know it doesn’t seem like it but trust me: I’m nothing like my deadbeat mom. She married a hobo and then died on drugs. I’m not going to be like that, okay? Can you just PLEASE leave me the fuck alone?”
She stormed out the house, slamming the door behind her. The bus hissed as she approached, door opening with a creak. She jumped into the bus and rushed to the back before plopping in her seat, eyes on her phone screen.
@Ilene| Hey, baby. I’m on my way to school now.
@Hayden| Good to hear. You know, I was thinking today of something.
@Ilene| What’s that?
@Hayden| You’d like to be married someday, right? Have kids, the whole deal?
@Ilene| Um… Not really, I mean, I’ve never really thought about it.
@Hayden| You should. I think you’d make a perfect wife.
@Ilene| I feel like that’s a bit fast thinking, isn’t it?
@Hayden| How so?
@Ilene| I mean, I’m so young at this point. I feel like we don’t know what could happen, so mentioning big things like marriage while we’re still so young puts a lot of pressure on us.
@Hayden| I disagree. I don’t know why you’d be so uncomfortable with the idea. You say you love me and that you want to be with me always, but when I bring up marriage, it is suddenly discomforting?
@Ilene| That’s not what I’m saying, it’s just hard to explain.
@Hayden| Try.
@Ilene| I don’t know how to
@Hayden| It honestly just doesn’t make sense to me, I can’t lie. It annoys me a bit because it makes every time you’ve told me you want a forever a lie.
@Ilene| It’s not at all, I swear to you
@Hayden| I think I need the school after alone. I’ll text you later.
@Ilene| Baby, don’t go
@Ilene| Hayden?
@Ilene| Come back
@Ilene| Please, I’m starting to get anxious, I don’t want you to be mad at me
Breath erratic, eyes watering, skin flushed.
“He hates you, you know that, right?
“He thinks you don’t love him.
“Don’t you understand? You’re all he has.
“He’s all you have. Don’t be fooled-
“Little bitch.
“Stop pretending.
“Wedding bells!
“Fuck you!”
Once the bus stopped, Ilene dashed from her seat to the school. She shoved various students out of the way, turning the corner away from her locker and collapsing into Hayden, who had just closed his.
“Please, please, please…!”
“Ilene…?”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please don’t leave! Please don’t leave, please don’t leave… I’ll do anything, I don’t have anyone else, please…”
Hayden wrapped his arms around her, caressing her back. “It’s okay, breathe. It’s okay. I’m here.” He felt her tears wet his shirt. A smile etched slowly on his face.
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