It hits me when I wake up the next morning, and El has to try to calm me down while I have a panic attack in her living room.

“They're going to come for me, oh my god, they're going to take my magic away,” I babble. I keep trying to stand up but El keeps forcing me back down.

“Nobody is coming for you, and even if they did, I wouldn't let them come near you,” she insists, trying to get me to drink from a glass of water. “I'd clobber them before they came close. Nobody is going to come for you except Ms. Cross, and she's going to take care of everything. Doesn't she always? She kept the mundanes from arresting you back when she first found you, she can certainly keep anyone from taking your magic.”

I don't know if she really believed that, or if she was just saying it because she thought it might take the edge off my panic. It didn't.

“She's going to throw me out! I burned down the fucking school! I'm going to be expelled, and the Council is going to take my magic!”

“You won't be expelled, and even if you were, it's your senior year and you're already 18, so what's the big deal? And I'll take down the whole Council myself if they try to come after you. I'll drop out of school too, and we'll both go to Mexico and we'll find that old healer woman and she'll teach you how to control your magic, and then you'll return as the most powerful magician since Merlin and put them all in their places.”

“You can't drop out and go to Mexico with me, you're supposed to go to college—”

“I can't get into college anyway. The University of Hecate has to accept me like they do all magicians, but with my grades I won't qualify for any scholarships and no way can I afford it.”

“But you already qualified for financial aid,” I point out. “Besides, you speak even less Spanish than I do. What are you going to do down there while I'm supposedly training with the old lady version of Yoda?”

“I don't know, it doesn't matter. I'll figure something out when we get there.”

“That's insane, you're being insane. You can't leave behind your family and your life to run away with me to Mexico.” The sharp edge of panic is beginning to fade. Somehow, focusing trying to talk El out of her crazy idea was helping me get a grip on myself. She forces the glass of water on me again, and this time I take a long drink.

“Alright. How about we just wait for Ms. Cross to get here and actually give us some more information before we start packing, okay?”

Ms. Cross did come that day, though it wasn't until much later in the evening.

Most of El's family were leaving me alone, allowing me to wander through the house like a restless spirit. I didn't much want to talk and they respected that.

I'm on the couch watching a Disney movie with Noemi and Ryan, not really seeing it, when Ms. Cross arrives.

Mrs. Fuentes answers the door, opening it only the slightest crack to see who it is.

“Ms. Cross!” she cries, and she flings the door open to let the headmistress inside. “Thank Hecate, we were hoping you have the chance to come soon, but we had no idea how long it would take—”

“This is the first chance I've had to get away,” Ms. Cross says, sweeping into the room with her long black skirt billowing behind her.

“Where's Adam?” she asks.

“I'm here,” I say as I rise from the couch, and my heart is pounding so hard that I can hardly hear anything over the sound of it.

“Who's that? Who's here? Is that Ms. Cross?” El asks in a rush, bursting into the room from the kitchen. Mr. Fuentes isn't far behind her, and now the entire Fuentes family and myself were all in the living room, staring at Ms. Cross.

“Did the school burn down?” Ryan's little squeak of a voice pipes up first, and it opens the flood gates.

“Is Adam going to be expelled?” demands El.

“Does the Council know about what happened? Have they convened for a meeting?” asks Mrs. Fuentes.

“What does this mean for Adam? How much of the school was damaged? Will the students be able to return this year?” Mr. Fuentes fires in quick succession.

“Is my wallet okay? I had $51 in there!” Noemi practically howls.

“Everyone please, calm down; isn't there somewhere a little more comfortable where we can have this conversation?” Ms. Cross looks expectantly at El's parents, and Mrs. Fuentes gives a little start.

“Oh, yes, of course. Into the kitchen, there are enough seats at the dining table.”

All seven of us file into the kitchen, where El and Mr. Fuentes hastily clear away the place setting for dinner that had only just been set ten minutes before. We all crowd around the table.

“There was extensive damage to St. Bosco's,” Ms. Cross begins, looking grim, “but fortunately it was largely confined to the right wing. Repairs will begin in the next few days, and thanks to aid of magic, the students should be able to return to school within a few weeks.”

“Aw,” Ryan groans, and he slumps in his mother's lap.

“A few objects survived the fire, but I am afraid I do not know yet if your wallet was among them, Ms. Fuentes,” Ms. Cross say to Noemi. “I assure you that if it is discovered, it will be immediately returned to you.” Then she looks at me.

I haven't spoken again since she first arrived, maybe hoping that she'd just somehow forget about me entirely. When her eyes meet mine, I feel my stomach clench like it's been seized in a vice.

“As for Adam, I would like to discuss the situation with him privately first.”

The entire Fuentes family exchanges worried looks, but the obediently rise from the table. El pauses to give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze before she follows the rest of her family, leaving me alone with Ms. Cross.

“Am I... expelled?” I ask. It's not the first question I meant to ask. It's not even close to the most important question I feel like I need answered. But that's the one that tumbles from my lips.

“No,” Ms. Cross says. “No Adam, you are not expelled. Though I won't lie to you, there have been some people, parents and Council members alike, who have already called for that. News spread quickly that you were the cause of the incident, though I did my best to run damage control on the multitude of rumors that were spreading. Before we speak further about your situation, can you tell me exactly what happened?”

I take a deep breath. I'm not sure if I will be able to tell her what happened. I haven't told anybody yet, and now it all seems so... fuzzy in my memories.

“We were working on transfiguring our partners in Thaumaturgy. I was supposed to be changing the color of Mr. Donovan's hair. I wasn't using my wand, I was thinking that he's right about it being better if I don't use one at all. I was trying to concentrate, but then...” I falter, and I can feel my face growing hot with shame. “I just thought, well, it's not like I'm going to blow up the school or anything, or something like that. It was just a passing thought, a tiny one, but the next thing I knew...” I flung out my arms in a pathetic imitation of the school going up in flames. “It was an accident, I didn't mean to—”

“I know it was an accident,” Ms. Cross says, raising a hand to silence me. “But I do have a question, and I want you to answer me honestly. Do you swear to answer me truthfully?”

“I-I swear,” I say, and my mouth goes dry because I think I know what she is going to ask, and I don't want to tell her the truth but I know I have to.

“Why did you lose control like that? To such an extreme degree? How was that possible, Adam?”

I look down at the placemat on the table in front of me. I focus hard on the red cherries, bright like fresh blood against the white background.

“Because I hadn't done any magic in almost two weeks. Since I stopped my lessons with Mr. Donovan.”

Ms. Cross lets out a breath of air in a hiss. “No magic at all?”

“Well... I'd done a few spells that day. El—someone noticed the day before that I was running hot, so the next day I tried to work some of it off. I was doing little spells all day, and figured that as long as I let off the worst of the pressure, by Thaumaturgy I could do a few bigger spells and use up the excess, and—” I break off, because we both know that that wasn't how it happened.

“That was stupid, Adam. Very, very stupid. Do you realize the gravity of the situation? Of what happened? Of what could have happened? People could have been seriously injured, even killed! And now the Council thinks they have proof that you are an uncontrollable danger to the entire magical world!”

I feel as though her words are a slap in my face.

I had considered all of these things throughout the day, but hearing her say them aloud and to my face makes the consequences feel so much more real. My hands are trembling, and I clench them hard in my lap to steady them.

“Is the Council going to... are they going to take...”

“I won't lie to you, Adam; they want to. I'm fighting it, and so are several other teachers, including Mr. Donovan, and a few of the more sympathetic parents. Some of your classmates have even spoken up in your defense whenever they have had the chance to elbow on in the meetings I've already had. But right now, the majority are not in your favor. As of this moment, you are still enrolled in St. Bosco's, and you are still a free citizen of the magical state. I will do everything in my power to keep this so, but there is the very real possibility that you will have to stand trial, and if it is taken to a vote by the Council, I do not think it will end up in your favor. If it comes to that, then yes, you sill be stripped of your magic.”

My head is reeling, and I suddenly can't seem to breath properly. It's like I've been punched in the gut, all the air knocked out of my lungs.

“I can't... I can't just leave,” I say weakly. “I don't have anywhere else to go. St. Bosco's is my home. I don't have any family. And without my magic, I'm just a... a...”

A failure; a loser; a nothing. I'm a freak and a danger to the magical world with it. I'm still a failure, but at least this way, I'm a failure with magic. If they take if from me, I'm just a failure. Period. And I'll be an outcast, an exile. Mundanes—and that's what I'll be if they strip my magic from me—aren't allowed to be a part of the magical world.

Ms. Cross gives me a few minutes to regain my composure.

“I took you under my wing when I first met you,” she says, and now her tone is more gentle, “and I won't throw you to the wolves, no matter what happens. I will always make sure that you are taken care of, Adam, as long as I can help it. I know that you didn't ask for any of this, that it has all been thrust unfairly upon you. I also know that, under the circumstances, you have been working extremely hard to comply with the demands that have been made of you. This was a terrible mistake, and a serious one that may cost you dearly; but a mistake nonetheless. You should have known better than to let your magic build up to that degree, especially after the incident with the gazebo, but I would be a fool if I didn't admit that everyone makes terrible but honest mistakes in their lives. You let your fear and ill feelings towards your magic keep you from using it, and now you've learned the consequences that path leads to. You can't ignore your power, you can't deny it or try to hide it or pretend it isn't there. You have to face it and deal with it as it needs to be dealt with, and accept that this is an intrinsic part of who you are and of your life, or you must allow it to be taken entirely from you. Would you rather the Council strips you of your magic? Would that offer you a better life, in your eyes?”

She isn't being sarcastic, or asking the question rhetorically. She genuinely wants to know whether I feel as though my magic is so much of a burden, that it would be easier not to have it at all.

“No,” I say, and I'm surprised, because I didn't even know the answer to that myself until the word fell from my lips. “No, I can't give this up. I'll do whatever I have to to keep it.”

Ms. Cross nods gravely. “All right then. In that case, the decision I gave you at the beginning of the year has been made for you. You will go to Yucatán, Mexico to train with the healer, if she will have you. With luck, she will be able to teach you methods of controlling magic without the need for wands. If she can't, or won't, I'll seek out others who use raw magic. There are small villages in Mongolia where those with magic have chosen to keep practicing in the traditional styles of their culture rather than adopt wands, and witches in Africa who practice their magic in a combination of the methods, using both wands and raw magic together. Those are more remote, more difficult options with language barriers that will be harder for you to overcome, but we will take those options if we must. Do you agree?”

“I-I guess,” I stammer, unable to even really imagine those possibilities at this moment.

“I have already spoken with Mr. Garcia about this, and he is prepared to take you there as soon as I give the word. I want to see if I can calm the Council before sending you off, so you will have a week or so before I give you final word on what will be happening. Still, I want you to get packed and ready to go at a moment's notice, so you can leave the country the moment I give you warning.” She fishes in the deep pockets of her skirt, and pulls out a wallet which she hands to me. “I'm sorry to tell you this, but your room was badly burned in the fire. Most of your possessions that were in there have been lost. I've withdrawn some funds for you, in cash and on a prepaid credit card. I want you and Mr. or Mrs. Fuentes to go shopping for you and buy you supplies. I've prepared a list here,” and she slides a folded piece of paper towards me. I take it and open it up, and see it's full of the bare minimum supplies I'd need if I had to suddenly go on the run to a foreign country. “I don't want you to go yourself. In fact, I won't want you to leave this house at all.”

“You think the Council will try something?” I ask, horrified by the sudden thought that they might send someone in the dead of night to take me by force.

“No, not the Council. But now that there has been a major incident and you are at serious risk of losing your magic, the MRF might.”