December 28th, 2018

The overwhelming roar of applause sent ringing into the Korean singer’s ears.

“Th-thank you, America!” Kyusoung Un yelled in the direction of the cries. She could hear them, but the burning bright headlights beaming towards her ruined her sight.

“I am… so...” She struggled to translate her thoughts into English, straining her brain to run through what she had learned. “... So happy to - to perform here in - in Los Angeles. Have... good night!” With that, she clumsily stumbled off the stage having done her performance.

“Ms. Kim, Ms. Kim!” Kyusoung’s agent Allen screamed from outside the stage, holding a slim tablet in one hand and a baggy white windbreaker in the other. “I know you had a late night party - well, more like early morning - but you should really know-”

“I know it’s late, Allen,” she said as perkily lifted the windbreaker off his hand and put it on, the scratchy material of it rubbing carefully against her skin, “thank you though.”

“It’s not that, Ms. Kim!” he walked ahead of her to keep her attention, “Something happened all the way at Alaska-”

“Alaska?” She tilted her head, “Sorry, where’s Alaska?”

Allen looked her right in the eyes as if he’d forgotten the idol was foreign. “Oh yes, sorry. Alaska is one of the states here in the U.S., and it is fairly far away. Anyways, there was an explosion and it’s still spreading some ‘chemical’. It reached Seattle only a few hours ago, so who knows when it’ll-”

“Chemical?”

“Oh, it’s a dangerous - bad - material that could possibly hurt you,” he placed his hands on her shoulder, nodding his head towards the nearby limo, “... if we don’t get to a safe location.”

Her eyes softened to a dull stare into the air, and she eventually settled on the words, “No.”

Allen looked he had been struck to the chest, “No?”

“I don’t want to… I don’t want to…” She closed her eyes tight, focusing on the right word. Allen dropped his hands from her tense shoulders, nodding.

“Disappoint-?”

“Yes,” she opened her eyes with a smile of passion, nodding her head in an airy bounce. “Yes, I don’t want to disappoint my - my fans.”

Allen quietly groaned, looking around cautiously in search of stalkers, “Listen, Ms. Kim. I know this is important to you, but you have to delay the party-”

Boom!

-

You’ve lost your purpose.

The voice echoed in Kyusoung’s head like it was her own.

You are not happy,

so don’t act like it.

You’re not good at your job,

so don’t sing like it.

You’re just an act,

so who have you really become?

“Stop!” She screamed, but everything around her was a black void of silence. The voice came from within her. Where am I? She thought.

You’ve changed.

Some would say “grown”,

some would say “ruined”,

some would say “gifted”.

No matter how you say it,

You’ll never be the same.

Never lose your rhythm,

never lose your voice!

Kyusoung Kim!

Kyusoung Kim!

Kyusoung...

Kyusoung...

Kyusoung Un!

January 13th, 2019

“Ms. Kim, are you awake?”

The question asked to Kyusoung drilled into her ears, bouncing from one side to the other in a deafening screech.

Yes, I’m awake, she tried to say, but the words came out in silent bubbles.

She opened her eyes to find herself lying in a hospital bed, her eyes already beginning to sting from the perfectly white walls. Why are these rooms so bright? She thought, squirming in the hospital bed to find anyone in the room.

Allen sat in an uncomfortable looking chair to her left, furiously rubbing his hand across the bridge of his nose. “Why did this happen,” she could hear him say.

Allen, it’s okay! She tried again to speak, but she felt something pushing the words back down her throat. Can you hear me?!

“Kyusoung Kim?” Someone asked from her right. She turned around to see a tall and bony doctor writing notes onto a clipboard, the scratch of the pencil against paper surprisingly loud from Kyusoung’s perspective. “I have good news and bad news.”

She nodded.

“The good news is that you’re awake.”

Well, I expected something a little better than that, she thought to herself, rolling her eyes.

“The bad news is that there seems to be something keeping you from speaking. My current theory is the ‘dispersion’, as we’re currently titling it, may have shocked your vocal cords specifically into a one-sided paralysis, but I’m not sure...”

The doctor went on to describe her possible symptoms which flew over her head. I don’t even know what Alaska is, how do you think I know what… what ‘one-sided paralysis’ is?

The doctor drifted off in his listings, noticing that she wasn’t listening. “Listen, Ms. Kim, the victims of the dispersion have been experiencing… unknown side effects-”

Allen cut him off mid-explanation with a wave of his hand. “You might need to simplify what you say for her.”

The doctor nodded, “Sorry about that. The thing that hit you has also hit many other people, and those other people had strange things happen to them after the blast.” He paused, waiting for a confirmation of understanding.

Kyusoung nodded, so he continued.

“Some have left their coma with the ability to fly, others walking through walls… the point is that you should let Allen here know if you feel strange,” the doctor warned. Kyusoung felt Allen’s hand go over her own, comforting her.

The doctor looked towards the door of the hospital room, “Allen also informed me that you had a fiancé in the South Korean military,” slowly, the door cracked open with an ear-tingling creeeeak. “With a couple calls, we managed to buy him a plane ride here.”

Kyungsoo?