After gathering Kino and Jude, I realized that North was probably expecting us to come after Oddisya and that we probably needed more people. So, Kino brought his daughter, an impressively skilled rider for her age, and Jude invited Shoshone Paris, Dean's eldest daughter and an experienced fighter. The five of us gathered horses and spent half an hour hastily mounting them with food, weapons, medical care, and tent materials. Two of the steeds had minor burn marks so we made an effort to avoid putting too much pressure in certain spots. We made decent time, by noon, we were all set to head off.

Four bags loaded with materials were strapped over Helix's back and I struggled to climb up With the reins fastened nicely over the white strip on his nozzle, I grabbed a part of it with each hand. In one swift motion, Helix jumped up and off he went. The other four horses followed suit and they all traveled in a v formation across the sandy roads.

The first sunset, I'd managed to push the other four into continuing through nighttime. Shoshone and Jude were more than ready to march on, but Kino worried for Mallory and suggested otherwise. His pleas were dismissed and the group trudged on. The second night, Mallory argued that the horses had traveled for over thirty hours straight and needed a rest. When Kino backed her up and begged we set up camp, I considered leaving them behind. But then Jude and Shoshone agreed it was in everyone's best interests to properly care for the steeds. Sighing, I yielded and unpacked my rolled up tent.

That night, was so far from peaceful for me, I don't think even "restless" describes it enough. The last time I tried to sleep, my dreams were haunted by memories of Quinn invading my life and room and her hurt face when I chased her out of my house. This time, I imagined Oddie being tortured while I was busy going on a date and attempting to enjoy myself.

Two different screams; yet different emotions.

Every moment I kept my eyes shut, the collage of Oddie and Quinn intensified in my mind. Oddie being kidnapped and stolen away, Quinn curtsying her way into my life, and the both of them crying after realizing what I'd done. The harshest slap, was the image of Oddie turning and walking away, with no intentions of looking back. Waiting for her, was her kidnapper, who took her and ran much too fast for me to ever keep up. Just like that, I jumped up with my eyes wide open and watery.

I couldn't take this anymore. I needed to find Oddie and apologize. As I stood up, my knees shook and I felt like an idiotic drunkard swaying back and forth. The scene played out in my mind--me begging for Oddie's forgiveness and having to explain what I did with Quintessa because she'd have no idea what my sorry would be for. Gradually, I dragged myself out of my tent and over to where Helix lay with the other four horses. As I drew nearer, the scenerio replayed over and over in my mind each time more and more painful.

Until, I realized, I had so much more to apologize for. While I bent down to try to wake Helix, I remembered Oddie's invitation for dinner. "My papa and I should be expecting you for supper?" Frustrated, I smacked my head--this conversation was on Wednesday morning, over four days ago. And, I couldn't even remember what I'd said in response. I was so preoccupied with this mind-eraser going around, that I probably just gave her a half-assed "sure."

Scampering onto Helix, who was also half asleep, a series of memories of me constantly dismissing Oddie and my feelings for her. All in the name of being a good leader, but in the end, it just made me an even worse person. Hundreds of instances played in my mind, and my body shook. At this point I was crying, desperate to find her and hug her. However, Helix never stood, and I couldn't bring myself to force him to. So, I sat there and cried while he slept. Eventually, I even lost my balance and fell between him and Shoshone's paint named Tai. Snuggled up, I still couldn't sleep, and I simply cried.