I'm reeling. I feel as though I've just been punched in the gut, and I can't seem to catch my breath. For a moment everything starts spinning, and I honestly think I might pass out, before it passes.

“No,” I say, my voice choked. “No, that can't be right. That can't be true. You're... you're lying to me. You're too... you're too young. You can't be more than thirty-five.”

“Thirty-nine, actually, but thank you,” Samuel says with a slight smile.

“Eighteen... eighteen plus twenty-one...”

“Thirty-nine,” says Samuel.

“No. Bullshit. No, it's not true. It's a trick, you're trying to trick me.”

The note in my mother's wallet, signed “S”. On the cliff top in France, when I'd revealed myself to keep him from giving word to his MRF cronies to go after Felix and El's families, what had he said to me?

Good decision, son.

And I'd just thought he was being overly friendly.

It's getting hard to breath. I wonder vaguely if I'm having a panic attack. Or if I'm going to die.

“You... what... what do you want from me?” I whisper.

Samuel shakes his head. “I don't want anything. I just think you deserve to know the truth. I wanted to tell you, I wanted to very badly. I never got the opportunity, though. Until now. I didn't escape from prison because of you, I had my own reasons for that. But I figured that since I was out, I should take the chance to tell you while I still could. I wanted you to hear it from me, so you could know the whole story. I wanted you to know that I didn't abandon you; at least, not by choice. It was a stupid, childish mistake, and I regret it every day of my life. My own short sightedness took you and your mother away from me. Now, your mother, my Sarah, is dead, and I'll never get to apologize to her for what I did. But you're still here, and I can try to make amends by you as best I can.”

“No—I—” I jump to my feet, knocking my chair over in my haste. “You... you tried to kidnap me! You were going to use me against the Council like a weapon, like an object!”

“I wanted you to fight with us, Adam, not just for us,” Samuel insists, leaning across the table with sudden intensity. “I thought you would understand, since the Council was out for your head too. I'm sorry I misjudged. I never wanted you to feel like you were being attacked.”

“You took Felix! You kidnapped him!”

People are starting to turn and stare now as my voice rises hysterically, but I hardly notice.

Samuel winces. “I didn't realize what he meant to you at the time. I regret that. For what it's worth, he never would have been harmed. We were only planning on demanding a ransom. Even if it wasn't paid, we were going to send him back home, unhurt.”

“It's not true. You're a liar, you're lying to me.” I shake my head hard, as if I can dislodge the memory of everything he has just told me.

“I'm not, Adam. Everything I've said is the absolute truth, and I think you know that. I'm your father. Your real name is Adam Cartwright.”

I can't handle it anymore. I have to get out of here. I stagger away from the cafe table, and I run out the gate, shoving people out of my way as I sprint down the street.

I get back to my car and start speeding back towards the apartment, weaving dangerously between cars as I go. I get halfway there before I realize that Felix might not even be there anymore. He might have already unhexed himself, he might be on his way to the cafe right now.

I pull over with a jerk, riding up onto the curb. I fumble with my phone, hardly able to pull up Felix's number with my trembling fingers. It rings until it goes to voice mail. I dial again, and this time, he picks up on the second ring.

“Adam?” he says. “Adam, what the fuck! Are you okay? Where the fuck is my wand? Where are you? Stay where you are, Eleanor is coming to get you right now!”

“I'm fine, I'm fine,” I say quickly. My voice is still unnaturally high and tight. “Don't worry, I'm fine. Hold on, don't go anywhere, I'll call you right back.”

I hang up in the middle of his protests, and I quickly pull up El in my contacts. She must be driving, but she has a special ringtone set for me in her phone, so I know she'll know it's me and answer.

Sure enough, it only rings once or twice before she picks up.

“Adam, is that you? What the hell is going on? I'm almost at the cafe, where are you?”

“Turn around El,” I order her. “Go back to the apartment. I'm fine, I've left. Go back to the apartment. And call Ms. Cross. No, you're driving—I'll call Ms. Cross. No, I'm driving—Felix will call her. I don't know, never mind. I'll call her when I get back. Just turn around, and go back to the apartment. I'll see you soon.”

I hang up before she can get a word in. I almost call Felix back, but then I figure what the hell, I'm only a few minutes from the apartment now, I'll just drive the rest of the way and see him in person. I jerk the car back into traffic, and slam my foot on the gas pedal with a squeal of tires.

I skid into my parking place at the apartment lot and run into the building. I can't wait for the elevator, so I take the stairs—which turns out to be a mistake, because I'm still having trouble breathing normally, and I get dizzy about halfway up and half to stop to wait for it to pass.

Then I'm pushing the apartment door open, just in time to see Felix throwing the last couch cushion to the ground, and snatching his wand in triumph. The rest of the apartment is in disarray, but only from about the waist down—as high as he could reach with his legs stuck together and immovable at the knees.

He looks over when he hears me enter. “Adam! God damn it, Adam! What happened? I'm going to kill you, what the ever loving fuck were you thinking?”

I wave my hand, and the leg-locking spell is released. Felix scrambles to his feet and bounds across the room, grabbing me by the shoulders.

“Are you hurt? Was someone there? Why are you back already? Who was it? Did they try anything? Why are you so pale? You're shaking—why are you shaking?”

“It was Samuel,” I croak.

Felix's eyes go wide. “What?”

“Samuel Cartwright. It was him, he was there, waiting for me. He didn't do anything to me,” I add hastily, seeing the panicked expression on Felix's face. “He didn't even try. He just... he...” I swallow hard, but that hard knot is still sitting high in my throat.

“What? What did he want? What did that note mean?” Felix presses, giving me a slight shake of the shoulders.

“He said... that's he's my father.”

Felix just stares at me.

“What?” he says again. “What the fuck? He's your... no. That can't be right. That doesn't make any sense. That's insane, that's actually stupid.”

“I know, I know,” I reply, pushing Felix's arms away and moving to the middle of the living room, where I start to pace restlessly back and forth. “I thought he was full of shit too. But... but Felix, he knew so much. He said my mother's name was Sarah Connolly, that he and she ran away from home together when they were seventeen. I remember that name, that's one of the missing women from the newspaper articles. She was one of the women that the nurse, Jan, pointed out to us. The time matches up. And the note, the note was signed with an 'S'. S for Samuel. Felix—oh Christ, Felix, I think he might be telling the truth.”

That wave of panic and nausea hits me again, and I sink into a crouch, my head between my knees.

Felix rushes over to my side, one hand on my back and the other grabbing my arm to steady me.

“Okay—okay. I don't know. Maybe. It doesn't seem right, but... we aren't going to figure it out right now. Just hold on, okay? Was he still there when you left? What happened after he told you this?”

“I just had to get out of there,” I say, staring down at the off-white carpet. “I just left him there. I should have... I don't know, there were too many mundanes around. I wasn't thinking. I just had to get out of there.”

“Fuck. Okay. We have to call the Guard. Just stay here, don't move.” He gets up and grabs his phone, pointing his wand at it.

“Magician's Guard, Northern California Division,” he says, with magic. I hear the faint sound of ringing, and then someone picks up. Felix quickly tells them that Samuel Cartwright has been spotted, and he gives them the address. “Yes, of course I'm sure!” he snaps after moment of silence on his end. “I know what he fucking looks like, don't I? My name is Felix Roth, he took me hostage three years ago. I was involved in the international incident with Adam Wolfe.”

That seems to do the trick. He gives them a few more pieces of clarifying information, and then he hangs up. But he's not done yet. In another moment he has the phone back up to his ear.

“Hello? Ms. Cross? Samuel Cartwright has just approached Adam... Yeah, yeah he's fine. Physically, anyway. He said something about... well, I think Adam had better tell you himself, I don't really know all the details... Yes, I already called the Guard, they're heading there to try to intercept him now. But he knows where we live. We got a letter, I'm assuming it was from him... Yeah... Okay... I understand. All right. See you soon.”

He slides his phone back into his pocket, then helps me stand up. “Ms. Cross is on her way over right now. Come on, over to the couch. Sit. Now, you're going to tell me exactly what happened, every single thing, from the very beginning.”

Before I can start though, the front door is kicked open with a bang.

Felix and I both jump, and he's already on his feet with his wand drawn by the time we realize it's just El.

“All right, what the fuck is going on?” she demands, storming into the apartment and slamming the door behind her. “What's this about a letter? Why did I have to go rescue Adam? Why did he not need rescuing after all?”

I start from the top, explaining how Felix had found the letter, and how I'd hexed him so I could so check it out despite his warnings. Then I told the both of them everything about my meeting with Samuel, as best as I could remember it. It almost physically hurts to get the words out, to repeat what he told me. As I say it, I'm torn between thinking that it's completely ridiculous and unbelievable; and the increasingly uncomfortable realization that it makes so much sense.