Claire was inside Mr. Thomas’ office for the longest time. After about twenty minutes of waiting, I decided to join Sam on the windowsill.

“Watcha looking at?” I asked her.

“Nothing in particular.”

There really wasn’t nothing much to look at from that window, apart from the empty, neverending prairie. A chilling air was coming in from outside, reminding me that spring still wasn’t far enough from winter for my Northern self to feel comfortable in places like Willow.

“I’m sorry,” I told her.

“You keep saying you’re sorry,” said Sam, “but honestly,” she looked into my eyes, “I don’t think you have anything to be sorry for. You’re the one who decides what you’re going to do. It’s your life, Ann. All I can do is support you, whatever those decisions turn out to be.”

“What if I want to date Claire?”

Sam looked outside again.

“I’ll support you,” she said, without wavering.

“And if I want to be alone?”

“Still support you.”

I paused for a moment, before asking her the question which had been bugging me on the back of my mind, ever since the previous night.

“And what if I want to be with you instead?”

Sam looked at me in doubt, furrowing her brow.

“What do you mean? Like… as lovers…?”

“Does that gross you out?”

“Well… no it doesn’t, but–”

“It’s not like I’m proposing,” I explained. “Or asking you to date me, right now. I’m still trying to figure out all of that. My feelings, that is, and what I want to do. I just wanted to know what you think of it, and if you’d be okay with that, in case I asked you to give it a try.”

At first, I thought she looked happy. But a moment later I wasn’t so sure anymore. I watched Sam’s gaze drift away toward the endless prairies beyond the window.

“Ann… How am I supposed to know the answer to that?”

She was blushing. That really was cute of her.

“I thought you already knew,” I told her, smiling just a tiny bit. “Like earlier today when you said you’d be a better girlfriend to me than Claire.”

She snorted.

“Anyone’s a better girlfriend than Claire.”

“But you’re not just anyone. Not to me.”

“Ann, look… I mean, I was joking when I told you that, and sure, I can’t say the thought had never crossed my mind, it’s just… are you sure about this?”

“Not even one percent sure. But I already told you that.”

“Right. Well… I can’t give you an answer right now… Is it okay if you give me some more time… Before you ask me again?”

I nodded. “I still need to figure this out myself. My feelings are… uncertain, right now, so it might be a while before I can seriously say what I want to do. In the meantime, say we remain best friends?” I raised my fist, looking at her. She hit it with her own fist, signaling that she agreed with me. But after one glance into my eyes, she let her face fall onto her folded arms.

“Damn, this is weird,” she grunted. “I never thought you’d be the one saying all of that stuff to me, Ann… This is so awkward.”

I chuckled. “Won’t be awkward if you give me a kiss.”

I said it as a joke.

Samantha didn’t take it as a joke.

I resumed watching the wind blowing on the prairies, in silence, with a witty smile on my lips. Sam raised her head from her arms, and looked into my eyes. I looked back, and suddenly I realized it.

Oh god.

There was a moment going on.

She was staring into my eyes, in a caring way that was very signature-Sam-style. I glanced at her face, her beautiful jet-black eyes, her funny upturned nose, and her thick lips. I lost myself in her gaze, the wind blowing our hairs on our faces, but I didn’t care. I had known this for a while, but Sam really was beautiful, wasn’t she?

“Ann…” she called me. There was a pleading tone to her voice. I reached for her forehead, and tucked a rebel lock of hair behind her ear, just like she’d done to me the night before. The tips of my fingers brushed on her cheek, which made her smile and my heart rush. We were both bringing our faces closer to each other, in a natural, almost instinctive way. Our lips touched as if that was meant to be. I found myself in a long, gentle, sweet kiss with the girl I’ve learned to call my best friend. I might have to learn to call her something else, now.

I heard a noise from beside us.

“Excuse me?” said a familiar voice.

Shit.

Claire.

I broke our kiss, embarrassed. Claire was standing next to the door to Mr. Thomas’ office, staring at us as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. I opened my mouth to talk, once, twice, but couldn’t manage to find the words. Claire looked hurt. Really hurt. Hurt like I have never seen her before, not even that night under the moonlight. And yet, she had no reason to feel that way, we had nothing going on between us anymore. So why is it that I felt so guilty?

“Mr. Thomas wants to see you… Samantha.”

Sam had one hand placed in front of her mouth, to hide her own embarrassment. She just nodded her head, not even being able to look at Claire after what she’d witnessed us do.

I watched Claire avert her eyes in misery, before she turned and walked away toward the stairs. For a moment, I was frozen in place. My mind was in a blank, incapable of figuring out a solution to that – once again – awkward mess. Then I panicked, and took a step forward.

I felt Sam’s grip on my left arm, holding me still.

“Please don’t go after her,” she said, pleadingly. “Not now. Not after what we just did.”

I looked at her. She had those pleading puppy eyes again, but also a face that showed me she’d feel miserable if I left her there alone. On the other hand, I still wasn’t sure about my feelings, and I couldn’t let Claire go away thinking that this was something it wasn’t. I felt really guilty for some reason, and I desperately wanted to talk to her.

Sam let go of my arm, and just stared at me, waiting for my decision. I stood still for a while too, just looking at her saddened eyes. But no matter what, I felt like I had already taken my decision, and there was no turning back now.

“Sorry,” I told her, and turned to run after Claire.