The air was chilly and crisp, the full moon shone brightly above the clouds, which only partially obscured it. I took a deep breath, held it, and released it, a small puff of foggy air appeared briefly before dissipating. My brother sat on the picnic table, his feet resting on the seat. Like me, he had brown hair and brown eyes, and though younger than me, he looked healthier.

We didn't talk for several minutes, not that there was much reason to. I was the one who insisted he take a walk with me, ostensibly to exercise, but really, it was just an excuse to talk. Considering the lack of communication, my plans had faltered, and I didn't know where to go from here.

"Hey." He said. He looked at me from the corner of his eye, never quite looking directly at me. "If you're going to bug me, you might as well spit it out." A reversal of the stereotypical dynamic. Wasn't I supposed to be the stronger, more dominant one? Reality was unrealistic, after all. He sighed and made a show of giving me his full attention. "Are you just going to stand there and stay silent like you always do?" He asked. "C'mon, say something."

I glanced away, no this wasn't at all how I wanted it to go.

"See?" He said. "This is your problem. You never actually try anything. You get some half-assed idea and you try to pull it off, but the moment you actually have to do something, you just..." He shook his head. "You always just spend your time talking about how you're going to do something amazing, but all you do is sit on your ass and watch anime and write. When was the last time you worked on your game? You know, the one you spent a hundred dollars for the assets to make? Have you even tried to find a publisher?"

"I... It's not as easy as it seems." I said lamely.

"When are you going to get a job?" He asked. "Do you think someone's just going to walk up to you and give you one?"

"I've tried!" I shouted, it was sudden, a burst of anger. "I've tried as hard as I can, I've walked to every business and asked for an application! I've filled out so many- and you happened to know someone who got you your job." I ran out of steam. "You don't know what it's like."

He slid off the table and started walking off. There were no parting words, no goodbyes, no see you laters. I walked home, alone, I didn't have anywhere else to go. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through a handful of forums I frequented, apparently, the new isekai anime was pretty good, the translation was faithful to the source material, and so far-

There was a loud and jarring noise, the sound of someone slamming their palm on a car horn. I looked up and at the sound, a blinding light was rushing straight for me, going too fast to be real. There was another sound, a sound like bells, and suddenly I was thrown away from it, not as a result of being hit, but by something large tackling me out of the way.

There was a puff of dust that rose up from the dry dirt, my glasses had been knocked off and lay on the ground inches away from my face. I blinked, it was day time, which should have been impossible. Did I get hit and find my way into a ditch? Had I fallen unconscious sometime in the interim? There was no grass, nor was I in a shallow ditch.

I felt a gust of hot, moist air and furrowed my brow slightly as I turned to look at the source. Some sort of large reptile with large, sharp teeth was directly on top of me. I screamed. I screamed, and then I passed out...

I awoke warm, the heavy blanket a welcome weight in light of the nightmare. Had I dreamed about trying to tell off my brother for being an arrogant ass again? Had I really dreamed about failing? I pulled the blanket over my head and shut out the light. How pathetic was I, that I'd fail in my dreams?

'Wait, light?'

I threw the blanket off of me and sat up. A soft, warm breeze blew into the room through pale, gossamer curtains, the scents of a warm summer day, alongside the smells of cooked foods, wafted into the air among the sound of a lot of people talking, and a whole lot of unfamiliar sounds. I turned my head away from the window to the rest of the room. The walls were made from wooden planks, as opposed to the more familiar drywall. The room was clean, almost spotless, with wooden furniture. I blinked a few times, then I realized I could see clearly. I raised my hand to my face and felt my glasses.

"Who puts glasses on a sleeping person?" Of all the things I should have asked, like 'where the hell am I?' or 'who's bed am I sitting on?' I had to ask a stupid question like that.

The only door into the room opened and a large anthropomorphic lizard walked into the room. "I thought I heard movement." It said in a deep, bassy voice. I made the assumption it was male. "Are you going to scream at me again?"

Oh, right. I'd screamed at a large, scaly reptile.

"I, uh, huh." I sounded. Smooth, like the dulcet tones of the Bard with the Beard. I cleared my throat, but I was still at a loss for words. He glanced behind him and stepped aside for a fair-skinned woman with pointed ears and golden hair. She approached me with a purposeful grace that was hard to describe.

"This is the Human?" She asked.

The Lizardman nodded. "Yeah, some poor whelp who teleported in the middle of a busy road. He'd be paste on the ground if I didn't save him."

She stood at the side of the bed and looked down at me with an inscrutable expression. "I, uh... hi." I stammered. Yay for social awkwardness.

"From which land do you hail, Human?" She asked.

"Would you believe me if I said I was from another world?" I asked, her expression changed subtly, her eyes had narrowed, her lips pursed slightly, I saw the slap coming and managed to raise my hands up fast enough to at least block it. It still hurt.

"Hey!" I snapped. "Don't you know not to hit a guy with glasses?!" I snapped. "Jesus fucking Christ, if I knew I was going to be slapped for being truthful I would have lied!"

"Watch your tongue, Human!" The Lizardman snapped. "My Lady will not tolerate irreverence!"

So, it was one of those. In your typical 'Trapped in Another World' story, the protagonist finds himself summoned for some reason, usually has some sort of awesome power or magical aptitude, and in the particularly less thought-provoking stories, particularly anime, the protagonist gains a harem of beautiful women who for some reason fall in love with him.

Chances were, I wasn't going to get that harem, which was good since that wasn't something I particularly wanted. But maybe...

I lowered my arms and bowed my head to the Elf. "My apologies." I said. "I am in an unfamiliar place, I did not realize you were nobility."

I didn't get slapped this time, which was a step in the right direction. "Please, forgive any further indiscretion. I spoke truly when I said I am not from this world."

She didn't say anything in response, so I wasn't certain if I did it right this time, she did, however, look at me expectantly.

"The land I hail from is a nation called America, in a state known as Oregon, in a small town near the city of Eugene." Not that I expected her to find that exact location.

"Are you a male?" She asked.

What the hell kind of question was that?

"No clearly I am an androgynous gnome from the Nth dimension." I snapped, and this time the slap did connect.

"Are you a male?" She asked.

"Yes." I said bitterly.

"Nash, please verify." The Elf said, and the Lizardman strode toward me. I quickly got out of bed and grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a flower vase.

"Alright! Hold up!" I snapped. "Aside from a sarcastic remark, I've always told the truth, I don't need to be violated by a... giant lizard person."

The Lizardman, Nash, looked unimpressed. "Is it your mission to insult everyone within this room, Human?" He asked.

"Look, I appreciate you tackling me out of the way of that car, and I'm sorry for screaming in terror at what looked like a crocodile about to eat me, even though in hindsight that doesn't really make any sense. I have no idea where I am, who you are, or even if I'm actually awake or if this is some sort of bullshit coma dream. Could we, I don't know, take a moment to relax and breathe and not slap people around?!"

"Everything you have said has registered as a lie." The Elf stated. "Either you are a very masculine woman, or I cannot gauge your honesty through magic."

So that's what it was, and here I thought she was going to get her kicks watching me get stripped naked by Nash. I set the vase down on the table, but kept my hand on it, and I asked, "Now that I have much needed context, perhaps you could ask me politely rather than tell someone else to do it for me?"

Nash' long, sinuous tail flicked forcefully, I had a feeling being hit by that thing would be painful, at least a broken bone or five.

"Please verify that you are a male, Human."

"Do you need a moment to look away, in the event flashing the local nobility is a crime?" I asked wryly. She kept staring, so I unbuttoned my jeans and lowered the front of my underwear. She nodded and said, "Very well, you may put it away."

I set about rebuttoning my jeans and zipping my zipper, and as I did, I said, "Let us never speak of this again."

"You say you are from another world, what led you to this conclusion?" She asked.

I felt a vibration in my pocket and pulled out my phone. It was an alarm for getting up for D&D. 'Sorry, guys, it looks like I won't be making it today.' I thought as I turned it off. I glanced at the Elf and Nash, who were both tense. Clearly, they'd never seen a smartphone before.

"It's called a smartphone." I said. "It allows me to take pictures, play video games, communicate with people hundreds of thousands of miles away as long as I have cell service, and it has a few gigs of music on it." I took note of my phone, it was at low battery, so it would be useless soon. "Unfortunately, it's almost out of juice, so it won't be much use later, but I can at least show you a few pictures of my home."

I pulled up my photo album and held it out to them. The Elf looked genuinely amazed, while Nash looked tense.

"These buildings... They are completely unlike anything I've seen before." She said. "This does lend credence to your claim. Which leads me to my next question. What is your purpose here, Human?"

"My purpose?" I asked. "In all honesty, if there is a purpose to my being here, then I don't know what it is. I was just walking to my house when I almost got ran over and- Nash, was it?" Nash nodded. "-and Nash tackled me and saved my life. Which is kind of weird since I distinctly remember being on my world at the time."

"You appeared in the middle of the road and were about to be trampled to death." Nash said. "And then you screamed at me and passed out."

"Do you have any idea what caused you to come here?" She asked.

"Depends." I said. "In various fictional stories regarding a person suddenly appearing in another world, it's usually summoning someone to be a powerful warrior to use in a war against a demon king of some nature, or being reincarnated after dying, or being yanked away from your world by some sort of powerful demon or something along those lines." I paused for a moment. "By the way, there wouldn't happen to be some sort of demon king running amok, right? If so, then the people who summoned me need to look elsewhere because I'm not fighting in a war that has nothing to do with me."

"Do not forget you are speaking to a Lady." Nash hissed.

"The worst that can happen is I'll be killed." I said. "Presuming I've been summoned for a reason, then someone will be looking for me, and learning that the person they summoned was killed by you will land you in very big trouble. However, that is making assumptions based on fiction, and as I well know, reality is unrealistic, it could be any number of explanations."

I looked at the Elf. "Where I am from, there is no nobility, so my irreverence is a result of that environment. I will make an honest effort to give you the respect you expect. That being said, do I address you as 'Your Ladyship', or 'Your Highness'..?"

"You could start with 'My Lady'." She said. "I am Lady Lissana Wyrashe, I govern this city. Nothing happens without my explicit permission." She looked at Nash, who bowed his head to her in response. "And I am Nashasska Windfang, Lady Wyrashe's trusted protector, confidant, and head Knight."

I bowed to Lissana and said, "My name is R-" I suddenly felt cold the moment I tried to speak my name, it felt like something was keeping the words trapped in my throat. I tried to gasp for breath, but it really felt like something was lodged in my throat. I leaned against the table and tried to think of what could be causing this.

Then I felt something wriggling around in my esophagus.

I faced the table and, having no recourse, made a fist, pressed it firmly against my gut, above the navel, below the ribcage, and pulled up and inward multiple times. Whatever was in my throat came out, out of my mouth, and landed on the table. I gasped for breath and stared at what could best be described as a black, fuzzy spider with a rat skull. It screeched at me and leapt toward my face shortly before an icicle pierced it, pinning it against the wall.

I backed away from it and hit my back against the wall. Nash approached it, yanked it from the wall, and yanked each of its legs off of its body before tossing all of it into a small pot.

"What the hell was that thing?" I asked.

"That was a Felgrat." Nash said. "It seems whomever brought you to this world did not wish for you to speak your name." He looked at me. "Which means that you are both in danger, and a danger to everyone here."

"Oh, great." I said. "What does this entail, exactly?"

"It means, for the time being, you will be under my custody." Lissana said. "I shall not mince words, you will be a prisoner, but as you have yet to do anything criminal, you will be afforded comfort until the root of this curse is found."

I knew there was no use in arguing, if anything, this presented nothing but opportunities.

I hope.