“So, if this isn’t your thing, what do you like?” My sister put on the expression she uses to talk to me when I’m angry; placating. The brunette girl ran a hand through her hair uncomfortably, her lips parted skeptically, but pressed quickly again into a thin line; her eyes hardened and her posture became noticeably less timid.
“Look, I woke up early, it’s just not a people day for me, and I honestly have no clue why you’re talking to me. I get you’re Ana’s friend and all, and I guess she’s mentioned me, but I really don’t know either of you.” While Megan briefly floundered, obviously shocked with the girl’s sudden standoffishness, I took the chance to quietly observe her. She was so very different alone than with her pack, though I had yet to decide if the isolation made her harsher or if it made her more pliable. I suppose the change would also be amplified by her congenital reaction to me, so maybe the difference in her was not always so clean cut.
She was fairly attractive, too, albeit in a different way than I’d expected from Megan’s brief comments about her. Her hair and eyes were rich brown; beautiful in a simple way that made her easy to overlook, though quite arguably worth a second glance. In her displeasure, her eyebrows were drawn together, her jaw set, and her eyes pinched.
I could understand on at least this level what Tatiana had seen in her.
“We’re just trying to make friends.” Megan’s voice, when it came, lacked the usual overabundance of cheer that came of her knowing she had her subject wrapped around her finger; she dimmed to a more palatable sociability. “And, you know, since you are- I mean, since we have a mutual friend and you’re doing the tour with us...” Her already quiet tone tapered off to a nearly bashful whisper. It was almost amusing to see her so suddenly out of her element, how her boisterous character wilted under scrutiny. It would have been, had I not been the least bit protective of her. For better or worse, I was still rather in need of her, and she was far worse to manage when she was sulking. I swallowed the growl that was building in my chest.
“I don’t like her.“ I muttered to Megan under my breath. Her eyes, which had softened briefly at Megan’s mildly deflated posture, grew suspicious when I changed languages.
“Not now, Hazel.“ Megan shushed, but, at least, my interruption had gotten her out of her head, and her smile grew back into its usual annoying fullness. “Sorry if I did come off a little... odd?” Her head tilted to the side and she shrugged her shoulders briefly in pseudo submission; if ever there was something in Megan to be wary of, it was her ability to manipulate, especially when neither she nor her victim knew she was doing it.
“Yeah.” Grace’s expression was still hard and mostly neutral, though a fair bit of residual discomfort still passed through.
“So, here’s my thought,” my sister grinned, “Ana’s a pretty fair judge of character, so the fact that you two are such close friends makes me think you’re a good person to know since we don’t really know anyone else here.”
“Ana’s friends with everyone, I’m really not a unique case there.”
“True, but you do happen to be the only ex she is still close with.” Megan cocked her head, her tone teasing, though formal in a sense. Grace let out a long puff of air.
“I guess, sure.” She smoothed her hair back with one hand and was visibly relieved when the student president called for us to keep up with the rest of the tour group as they moved on.
“Duty calls. Talk later?” Megan prodded hopefully, smiling crookedly and leaning onto her toes. She so often echoed with painful similarity the little girl I knew before I went to the Academy; it left a bitter aftertaste of nostalgia and what I’d grown to recognize as regret.
“Sure.” Grace tried a smile and, weak as her response was, Megan took it cheerily.
“Why’d they break up?“ I asked in a somehow forcedly uncaring voice. Megan regarded me slowly, looking my face up and down in that odd way she did to understand me. Instinctively, my posture tensed. She lifted an eyebrow.
“Why are you asking?“ A knowing smile, much smaller, softer, and more personal than usual, pulled her lips. A simultaneous rush of heat and chilliness crept up the back of my neck. When it was clear I would not answer her, she paused again and I could see a spark of calculation glinting in her eyes. “It’s not really my place to say.“ She eventually decided, her smile withering into a perturbed line, that look of recognition lingering like fog in her stare. Her lips quirked upwards in imitation of a smile, though she made no effort to put any real zeal into the façade. “Come on, we’ve at least got to pay enough attention to find our classes tomorrow.”
. . .
The rest of the tour was no less grueling than it had begun. The only noticeable change was that Grace seemed even more intent to avoid me and my sister, and while I was just a little irritated that the girl had brushed Megan off, I enjoyed not having to wait through Megan’s talks with her far more. And Megan, whether her interest was genuine or not, kept herself distracted enough to not care about the brunette who was trying her damndest to maintain a generous distance between us.
“Are you hungry?” Megan asked at the first possible moment as Holly disbanded the tour group for lunch (and the clubs’ showcase afterward, though I had every intention to be conveniently absent when Megan tried to drag me around that). I confirmed with a languid hum as Megan led the way back towards the cafeteria. There was also something in the air there too, buried in with a mix of hundreds of other scents that made it indistinguishable, yet I felt a warning prick of familiarity along my spine.
“Do you smell that?“ I asked Megan.
“You have to be more specific than that.“ She replied with a hint of amusement.
“If I knew, I would have told you. I don’t know what, exactly.“ I wanted to specify that it was absolutely something I had encountered before, though I was not entirely sure that Megan would have been acquainted with it; whatever it was. “Never mind.“ Megan shrugged, but I still caught a little of the intrigue in her tone.
“You’ve never been to a public school before, there are bound to be new smells. Let me know if you do figure it out.“ She added simply, her curiosity bringing out more of her accent. She forgot to compensate for her natural pronunciation when she was preoccupied; it was yet another of her tells, this one meaning specifically that she was thinking.
We found our way onto the line for food in the cafeteria, and the smell of greasy cheese pizza (specifically that of a local Pizza Hut,) grew inescapable. In small amounts, the odor reminded me of late nights helping Megan with paperwork, but in such a potent quantity, it made me mildly nauseous. So, despite having been fairly hungry, I left the line with a moderately disappointing salad and an apple.
“So, should we try finding—“ Megan flashed a guilty expression halfway through, so, because I knew what suggestion would follow, I started towards the school’s nearest exit, which was across from the auditorium. “Or we could eat outside. That’s fine.” Megan didn’t even make an effort to suppress a teasing giggle. “Don’t think this will get you out of looking at the club showcase with me, though.” She added as we sat on a nearby bench; while it was more likely for people to try and join us there, Megan had worn a skirt today and I was not yet annoyed with her enough to make her sit on the ground with me.
I shrugged, knowing that an argument would be useless, and started eating.
My sister and I ate quietly for a minute or so until there was a shift in the wind and I stiffened as the same painfully familiar scent from earlier made a much less obscure appearance now.
“That smell?“ Megan paused between bites of the pizza she had gotten, her nostrils twitched as she took in long breaths of tinted air.
“Yes. It was more recent when I caught it inside, but yes.“ I felt my eyebrows pinch and my lips set into a tense line as I studied all of the school I could see. It was silent between us for another moment before Megan, apparently having sensed my body tensing, put a cautious hand on my elbow to draw me out of my head.
“Whatever it is, you can figure it out later. Eat.” I nodded slowly and continued eating, while my stomach now churned uncomfortably.
“Am I being paranoid?” I asked, eyeing Megan to see if she tried to hide any part of her reply. She chewed deliberately before regarding me with an odd, conflicted sort of expression.
“Paranoia tends to imply that the feeling is unwarranted.” She stated, looking me over critically as I did to her. “I do trust you, though.“ She smiled faintly, knocking my shoulder gently with her own. I nodded stiffly and tried to focus my mind elsewhere.
“So...” Megan cleared her throat, her tone instantly convicting. “You’re not interested in the clubs, but I am.” She brought the corners of her lips upwards into a guilty expression that echoed amusement.
“I’m not a child, Megan. I am perfectly capable of looking after myself while you socialize.” It was no new conflict for us; not on either side, since we were both, in our own ways, dependent on the other.
“I don’t want to just leave you outside, though...” She tousled her hair uncomfortably, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Megan.” I frowned with a tone that bordered command.
“Alright, alright, fine. I’ll be back soon, though. If you need me and you can’t find me, you have your phone and,”
“Megan, I know.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll be back soon. I love you.” She smiled, still looking mildly conflicted, and collected both of our trash as she made her way back into the school.
Megan’s absence was distinctly quiet, not necessarily uncomfortable or particularly easing; just quiet. I always found myself surprised by how used to her I’d become; I knew almost all her mannerisms and quirks, and when she was not there, the vacuum gave me a nagging sense of foreboding. As much as my instincts told me her influence was dangerous, I tried to make myself okay with the weakness.
I tried to feel every affected muscle’s movement as I filled and emptied my lungs, just to focus on anything else. I knew being left to my thoughts without supervision was generally detrimental, as I could hardly understand any part of the tangled web of thoughts and vague semblances of emotion, so I took the time to, from my phone, read through some of the documents my officer had sent me. Most of it was useless to me, contacts for physical therapy that Megan had already reached out to and the like; more important among the jumble were some files littered with information about new protocols and regulations I would have to uphold, and while it was never stated explicitly, it became very clear that my role had made a dramatic shift since coming here.
I locked my phone with a growl that scratched at the back of my throat, and, for good measure, shut the offending technology off completely. Frustration was something I had grown accustomed to, and it felt irritatingly natural.
“Hey,” this time, I let out an unfiltered grumble, because I knew that voice.
“Whatever Megan put you up to, I can assure you that I do not need you to babysit me.” My lips curled instinctively into a defiant frown and I glared at the blond woman that sat beside me on the bench.
“She seemed worried, so I told her I’d check on you.” Tatiana shrugged, her eyes set forward and her face smoothed into an expression that was impassive, if not also somewhat reserved. “I could hear you in the bathroom, you know.” She started, her voice turning just a little frosty; “I know you don’t like me, and that’s fine, I haven’t really decided if I have it in me to like you either, but that doesn’t mean you have any right to talk to my friends like that. Even if it wasn’t personal, Hazel, what part of keeping a low profile was so unclear? You aren’t really equipped to deal with suspicious humans right now, and stirring the pot like that will eventually get you into a situation you don’t yet have the tools to navigate.”
“Do not lecture me.” I lowered my tone to a snarl and spoke each word slowly enough to sound like a threat. Tatiana sighed out through her nose, the sound soft and placating; patronizing.
“All I’m saying is you need to think more about what you’re doing here before you go starting things and expecting Megan to do damage control. You’re not a child, and you have real repercussions to deal with now, so—“
“What did I just say?” I snapped. “How could you possibly think I’m not familiar with the real repercussions of my actions?” This seemed to give her pause, I think because she realized she was stepping into far more dangerous territory. She met my eyes with a much softer expression than before, which served only to irritate me further.
“You’re right. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to bring up—“
At that point, it was all I could do to put up a blank front and walk away, forcing down the hot, choking rage that had been set into a boil below my skin. Had she followed, I was entirely prepared to cause myself even more trouble, so it was certainly for the best that she let me go.
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