"How do I look?", I asked him and turned around in a circle, showing Jake my outfit, but as all that met my question was silence, I frowned.

Is it that bad?

I looked at my reflection again and sighed quietly. I thought that my clothes looked okay since I was wearing regular jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt, something I had noticed was a regular attire for these sorts of things so that couldn't have been the problem.

My black hair was tied up into a bun, like always, a couple of strands slipping out of it no matter how many times I pushed them away.

Maybe I should cut my hair? Is it weird for a guy to have long hair?

I wasn't sure. Jake had said that he liked it when we first met because it made me look different and unique, which he thought was a good thing, so I guessed the hair wasn't a problem.

I gave up and turned around only to find my friend sitting on the bed and staring at me with a glazed look in his eyes.

"Jake?", I said and at the sound of his name Jake's eyes quickly snapped up to mine, a bit wider than usual.

"Yeah? Did you say something?"

"I asked you how I look. Is it bad? You can tell me, I won't get mad. I would rather hear it from you than some girl at the party.", I told him, still watching him closely, getting a bit worried as, Jake's eyes kept flying around the room, looking everywhere but at me.

"No, no, no... It's good. I mean you look good. Yeah, good.", he stumbled over his words, talking so quickly that I barely managed to catch their meaning, before he turned around and left the room, saying something about the bathroom on his way out.

"Okay...", I mumbled to myself and turned back to the mirror, feeling more than a bit confused at Jake's strange behavior.

~

Two hours in and I was bored out of my mind. The party was being held at Cole Meagan's house, one of the guys from Jake's football team. That fact alone should have been enough to throw me off going since not one of Jake's teammates liked me very much, but the opportunity to spend more time with my crush and best friend was just too good to resist.

Which, of course, never happened, because as soon as we arrived, Jake was pulled away by his jock friends and I was left alone to fend for myself.

Being alone was something I was used to by now, and it would have been fine if I was at school and such, but to be alone in a house of what was basically a stranger to me, since the guy never bothered to even learn my name correctly let alone actually speak to me, was a whole other level for an introvert such as myself.

I peeled my back from the dark corner of the room I had been occupying from the moment Jake left my side and decided to go and get something to drink since my throat felt parched.

But that was easier said than done as I wormed my way through the crowded living room, trying and failing not to bump into grinding, sweaty bodies dancing in the middle of it.

I finally emerged into a slightly less crowded hallway and took a left toward the kitchen, passing a couple that was barely managing not to rip each other's clothes off right there out in the open. I rolled my eyes at them, chuckling lightly as I imagined what their parents, devoted church-goers, would think if they could see them now.

Would they condemn them, as they would do with me, I wondered before a humorless smirk spread across my face since I already knew the answer.

The kitchen was blessedly empty, as I stepped closer to the big table that was overflowing with all sorts of alcohol. I took a bottle of vodka and poured myself a full glass, and I knew that a can of beer would have been a better choice since I never drank but I could have cared less about it at that moment, and then ventured outside through the glass door where a big porch was sitting blessedly empty.

I took a big breath, fresh air filling my lungs, and sat on the wooden steps with the glass clutched between my hands like a lifeline. I cursed myself for not bringing my pack of cigarettes with me, a nasty habit I picked up during last year, but something I could use right about now.

I closed my eyes and let the silence ease up my mind, as I took a big gulp of my drink and then another until almost half of the glass was gone; the bitter taste soothing my dry throat and making my head go fuzzy.

I thought about Jake, even though I knew that it was a mistake, knowing that Jake was somewhere inside, probably in one of the upstairs rooms with Melissa or some other girl, ready to please him in whichever way he thought best.

The thought hurt, weighing heavily on my mind and heart, and I had to blink a few times as my eyes started to burn. I hated myself for it, for letting my emotions get the better of me, but after the night that I have had where I was made to realize just how alone I was in this stupid little town, and with alcohol coursing through my veins it was inevitable.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!", a voice suddenly sounded off from somewhere behind me and even though I was already more than tipsy, I recognized it in an instant.

Jake came closer before taking a seat beside me on the suddenly too small steps, and the intoxicating scent of him, yet again enveloped my senses, making me feel even drunker than I already was.

"Yup. Here I am.", I mumbled quietly, my words slurring slightly on their way out, as I stared across the backyard, refusing to look at the man beside me.

"Is everything alright, Shorty?", Jake asked, worry clear in his voice as one of his hands gripped my shoulder softly, urging me to turn around.

I said nothing, ignoring him and the hand and scooting away slightly, as the warmth of Jake's skin sipping through my slightly sweat-damped shirt made me want to crawl up into myself.

One part of me wanted to get up and run as far away as possible while the other, which was slowly becoming a more urgent one, urged me to move closer to my friend.

I wanted to get into his personal space, to stick my nose into the crook of Jake's neck, to inhale that scent that was driving me crazy; to kiss, bite, lick the skin that was most probably salty from the way it glistened beneath the artificial light of the porch bulb.

I wanted to climb into Jake's lap, feel those big, football-honed arms around myself, and just stay there for the rest of the night. But I couldn't, even in my hazy, drunk mind, I knew that, and instead of doing any of those things I stood up and walked a bit away from him, in an effort to clear my mind before I did something that I would regret.

"Shorty?", Jake said again, and at the sound of the stupid nickname, I let out a loud growl, as a surge of anger erupted in my chest.

"Stop fucking calling me that!", I screamed out loud, turning around just in the time to see Jake still sitting on the stairs with a perplexed look on his face.

"What?"

"Stop! Just stop! I am not Shorty, my name is George!", I yelled out again, my whole body shaking and my vision slightly blurred.

After a tense moment, Jake stood up and slowly walked down to where I was standing and glaring at him, his face still showing his confusion which only served to anger me even more, even though it was unwarranted.

It was not Jake's fault that I was angry, it was not his fault for feeling confused at my change of attitude, or for making me feel this way, but even though I knew that I still resented him.

"Okay, I am sorry. I'll call you whatever you like, just calm down.", Jake said in a calm, soothing voice, as his hand yet again reached out for me, but this time I slapped it away.

"Don't!"

A look of hurt crossed Jake's face at the motion and my words but he quickly disguised it and stepped away, silently complying with my request.

"Did I do something?", Jake asked after a silent moment, in which he stares at me, while I stood frozen with my eyes glued to the ground.

At the sound of his voice, so soft and worried, I deflated and sighed loudly, the anger and bitterness abandoning me in a second, and all that was left in their wake was emptiness so profound that I almost started to cry.

"No, Jake. You didn't do anything.", I whispered and finally looked up. Jake was standing there, with a frown between his eyebrows, waiting for me to explain.

He was in just his shirt now, slightly shivering from the cold air, as goosebumps spread across his tanned skin. His hair was a mess, strands of it spiking up in every direction as if someone had been running fingers through it over and over again, and my stomach dropped at the realization that someone probably has.

"I need to go.", I said and turned around quickly, already making my way around the house, my eyes burning from the urge to cry as Jake's voice calling for me to come back sounded off behind me.