Jaxon.

“So you have told him that you like him right?”

“Well no, I haven’t.” Cass’ face became stone, I couldn’t tell if he was mad or just flat out disappointed with me.

“Can I ask you why?”

“I just...I don’t know. I don’t want to just come out with it and then it freak him out or something. I’d rather have him as a friend than nothing at all.” I wasn’t going to bring up what happened or what was going to happen at that bonfire thing.

I still don’t really know what was going to happen had that girl not came up. Actually that is a lie I know exactly what was going to happen, I was going to kiss him. By the looks of it it seemed like he wasn’t going to stop me so what does that mean?

Honestly I need to get that out of my head because as soon as Sabrina or whatever the hell her name is came into the picture he completely ditched me to get what he needed. It sucked seeing that and having that done to me but I am not surprised.

When he is around me he looks at me a certain way that he doesn’t with anyone else. So I can’t help but to wonder about him. It would literally make my day for him to be into me, oh my God no one in this world can understand how much that would mean to me.

“Yeah I guess so, you don’t need to go and mess anything up. It seems like everything with your parents is cool right now and I don’t want them telling you to stay away from me again.” Like I said before that was the worst having to be away from my best friend.

He is right though it probably would be for the best that even if him and I did have something that we just...didn’t. I don’t want to lose Cassius again.

“This is why you’re my friend, you keep my head straight.”

“Well.” He started with a grin, I knew what he was about to say before it even came out of his mouth and there was nothing I could say. “Technically I don’t. If anything I just make it more gay.” And he was probably not wrong about this.

“I mean maybe Cass, that might be true but I am not giving you that satisfaction.”

——

“Who goes out on a Wednesday mom? Who?” I was honestly so confused as to why they had to go out tonight.

“Jaxon your father’s work friend invited us out for dinner tonight.”

“Well why can’t I go?” I feel like they never let me go anywhere with them anymore, they just make me stay home like a child that should never been seen.

“Because it is a school night.” That’s the best she’s got? That it is a school night?

“Does this mean you are going to finally let me be here alone?” She gave me the look that said death was coming if I asked another dumb question like that.

“Do I really have to answer that Jaxon?”

“Mom I am mature enough to—“

“Mature enough? If you were mature enough you never would have done what you did.” I hate how they are still so upset with me about that but it has been months since that incident happened. “We can’t just act like it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Maybe it was at first but mom it has been so long since then, can’t we just get past this?” I honestly don’t know why I can’t just shut my mouth, she looks like she wants to knock me out right about now.

I am just tired of being watched so closely anymore it is getting way too old at this point.

“Can’t you just—“

“Uh am I interrupting?” My knight in shining armor has come to save me from this woman.

There stood Elliot in the door way looking like he should probably get out of here just in case he gets the wrath of my mother, he does not need that negativity in his life.

“Oh hello Elliot! No you aren’t we were just talking is all.” If that is what you want to call it because I do believe that this was turning into an argument.

“Okay mom, my baby sitter is here so now you can leave.” I didn’t want her or my dad here any longer.

My mom said a few things to Elliot before grabbing my dad and heading out of the house. They could seriously not have left any faster.

Elliot sat his backpack on the couch then turned around to look at me. If he only knew how much I was into him, I couldn’t help but to look him up and down everything about him was so perfect to me.

“What?” He caught me staring and I had nothing to say to save myself so I just shrugged and hoped for the best. “Is there something on me?”

“Wha—no?”

“So what was it that you and your mom were talking about when I walked in?” I don’t exactly want to tell him the whole truth about it because it is so stupid.

“I was just telling her that I am perfectly fine with being home alone and she still says that I am too immature to do that.” Elliot took a step toward me before stopping and realizing how close he actually was to me.

To be honest I don’t really understand him and I don’t think that he fully understands himself either. It is that or he just doesn’t know how to give off signals with how he is feeling and what he actually means.

He is a little confusing.

“You don’t like my company Jax?”

“No, that is not what I mean! I just...It seems like such a hassle for someone to have to come here just to watch me to make sure I don’t do anything wrong.” As I said this I walked to the couch and flopped down on it.

It was a bit dramatic but it felt like the right thing to do at the time.

Elliot came to sit next to me but he made sure that he had some distance away from me so that we wouldn’t touch in any way.

“Why do they think that you are going to do something wrong?” It doesn’t matter if he knows or not so I might as well tell him.

I mean he already knows about my sexuality so this shouldn’t matter anyways.

“Well, about a year ago I came out to my parents and they were totally cool with it and they were so understanding which was awesome.” He was staring at me, waiting for me to continue talking because he knew that that was not the reason why they are so worried about me.

“A few months ago there was this guy that I was really into and he liked me as well. He went to school with me and one day he came over here while my parents were gone and one thing led to another and him and I sort of slept together.

“My mom came home early and caught us so now she feels like I am just trying to be home alone so that I can find someone else to get in my bed.” Elliot looked surprise at what I had just said to him.

I don’t know if he is freaked out about me being so open with him but I am not ashamed of who I am.

“That is pretty....intense to say the least.” I doubt he could figure out anything else to say to me.

He was still staring at me with those green eyes that were so mesmerizing, I know that this between him and I is only going to remain as a crush thing and that was perfectly okay to me.

I never thought that I would be in this position with him in my house and me being able to actually talk to him about things so this here, was something perfect for me.

Elliot.

I wasn’t quite sure of what to say or do in this situation, Jaxon was being so open with me and here I was just looking at him not knowing how to react.

It isn’t like he told me he killed anyone or something like that he literally only told me that he slept with someone which is no big deal. He knows that I sleep around so why should this be such a big deal?

He felt comfortable around me and that is probably why he told me this, he looks at me as a friend and I need to make sure that I don’t mess this up.

“Maybe they reacted the way they did because of your age, to them you are still quite young and you are their baby.” He looked so displeased with my word choice but it was true.

“I am not though, I am so much more mature than a lot of people my age.” He wasn’t wrong but still.

“Yeah that’s true. But you have to look at it through their perspective Jax, parents don’t want to think about their kids having sex let alone catching them in the middle of it. Hey, don’t look at this as your parents being mean or whatever.

“Think of this as they are just giving you time to hang out with your friend and they are just giving you some space.” I could tell that he was thinking about my words.

I didn’t want him to be upset about any of this, I have no idea what it is like to come out to your folks and then being caught. It’s probably pretty hard for him.

“Do you ever wish you could be more than friends with someone?” He completely caught me off guard with that.

Jax was looking right into my eyes, not looking away even for a second. Why would he ask me this if there wasn’t nothing behind it?

Was he meaning with me?

“Yeah, sometimes.” I wasn’t going to say with who or anything but I was being honest about it with him. He nodded before scooting closer to me, closing the space between us that I made sure to keep.

“What are you going to do about it Elliot? How do you go about telling them?” He was so close that I was certain he could hear my heart pounding inside of me.

He went from being a good distance away to literally making sure there was no space between us what so ever.

I was looking right in his eyes but then mine trailed down to his lips. I couldn’t help but to get a good look at them, I wanted to see what they felt like against mine.

“I....” He was leaning forward, making me forget how to speak. There were all of these thoughts in my head and so many things that I wanted to say to him but I just didn’t know how to create a sentence.

Jax brought his hand up to my neck and placed it there which made my stomach turn in all different ways. This was about to happen and I wasn’t sure if I should continue with it or just stop where we were at.

The former is what I was choosing because I was not pulling away from him. He was so close to my face that all I had to do was connect our lips and be done with this anticipation that was killing me.

I began to move closer to him to close this space, as soon as our lips were about to touch his phone started ringing which quite honestly scared the living daylights out of me making me jump backwards.

He let out a loud groan before pulling it out and seeing who it was. He glanced over at me before getting up and walking into the other room to answer the call.

This gave me a moment to think about what the hell was happening.

How is this the second time that him and I have done this?

We are probably not going to talk about it like before and we are just going to act like this situation never even happened which is going to cause me to overthink everything in this world.

He is the only guy that I let myself get that close to kissing, it honestly feels like it is too soon for something like this to happen but I am so curious to see where it goes. 

Jaxon walked back in here and sat back down on the couch only this time he sat away from me. I gave him a questioning look when he turned his head to me. 

He shrugged at me and had an innocent look about him. “What is it?” How is he so capable of being so nonchalant after something like that? 

How am I suppose to react to something like this?