This is something that I can no longer keep inside I am going crazy, I need some advice and they only person that I can trust is Shepley which then means I have to be completely honest with him about myself.

I’m not really sure how he would react to something like this but I am almost certain he will not unfriend me for this, at least I really hope that he doesn’t. I just need to get this off of my chest and get another opinion.

Jaxon just...he is making me lose my mind right now I have no idea what to do about this situation.

So here I was, at my house, with Shepley in my room talking about whatever it is that is on his mind at this moment. I just have to do it, he is my best friend and he won’t judge me.

“Shepley, I need your help.” He completely stopped talking and looked right at me.

“Is everything okay Elliot? Are you hurt?” Why is that his first thought?

“Wha-no everything is okay, I am fine. I just really need some advice man.” He went from being totally concerned to being excited that I was coming to him about something.

“You have come to the right guy! Whatever it is I can so help you out with it!” I was so unsure how to take this he seemed to be excited but his words sounded so sarcastic so I had no idea where to go from here.

“I need you to be serious Shep.”

“Dude I am serious, I am being so serious. Come on, what’s up?” I took a deep breath and just thought about the next words that were going to come out of my mouth. Was I sure that this is what I wanted to do?

“There is this..person, that I think I like and I am not really sure how to go about this.” I know that he must be so confused just by the look on his face. He probably doesn’t understand what I mean because I never have any issues with something like this.

This is different though, this is a whole different area that I am not familiar with but I like it and have been liking it for some time.

“Uh what? Elliot, you never have this—what is going on? Who is this person?” I just need to stop beating around the bush and let it all out to him. Everything will be okay.

“There is something that you don’t know about me Shepley, and it’s not that I have kept this from you this is just something that I wanted to keep to myself until I was ready to say something.” He didn’t say anything he just nodded at me. I guess he was waiting on me to continue speaking.

“For a good minute now, I have been bisexual.” Everything was so quiet. It felt like time had stopped and this just made me wish that I kept my mouth shut. He is going to hate me forever.

“Wait a second. What?” I only nodded because I literally had no words. “Why did you keep this from me for so long? Did you think that I wasn’t going to accept you?” He was spot on.

“Well yeah, kind of.”

“Dude that would be so stupid of me, you are my best friend it would take a lot more than that to get rid of me. Now, this leads to my next question.” I already knew what he was going to ask me and this was the part that was probably going to be a bit harder for me. “Who is this person that you like?”

Do I just come out and tell him this?

“It’s Jaxon.” His eyes lit up and his mouth dropped open.

“The kid from across the street?” Who else would I be talking about right now? “Elliot, what? What do you mean you think you like him? Like what is going on?” His confusion was making me confused and I just didn’t know where to begin.

“I don’t know. It’s like, I want to be his friend because he is an actual chill dude but when it is just him and I he becomes a totally different person that makes me not know what to do. You know he has tried kissing me twice? Two times! And both times something has intervened with it happening.

“And then when said thing is over he just acts like it never was a thing so then it makes me so confused. He told me he liked someone else and he wanted me to get the two of them to talk and I honestly think it was just to see my reaction to it.

“Then there is the factor that he is younger than me and something like this would never work because for one, our age, and two, I am supposed to be baby sitting him not trying to get with him. I just—“

“Stop right there Elliot. You are just rambling at this point.” He was not wrong.

I was just pouring my heart out to him without even thinking twice about it.

“Clearly he likes you in return man. Maybe he doesn’t want to mess up the friendship that you guys have started, this is something you need to talk to him about. Be said if you don’t you are only going to continue to drive yourself crazy like you are right now.” He was so right about this.

“Doesn’t it seem so soon though?”

Shepley rolled his eyes at me and shook his head. “Dude there are people who will have a crush for one day and then ask them out the very next day without even knowing them. You have been talking to this kid for a few weeks now.” Why does he have to be right about all of this?

Was this a conversation that I was ready to have with Jaxon? When would be the right time to even go about this with him?

I hate that I am overthinking this because if you think long you think wrong and that is probably what is happening to me right about me.

Telling Jax about how I feel would make me feel a whole lot better about things and even if he didn’t say the same thing in return to me at least I got everything off of my chest.

“Does he know about you?” I was confused at first but then I knew what he was meaning.

“No, he doesn’t. You are the only one.” His eyes lit up like it was the Fourth of July.

“I truly am your best friend.” That smile on his face was priceless and I was happy to be able to make him do that but this was not the time to think about that.

“Please don’t say anything man, this was not easy for me to say and I am not ready to let the world know about me. Please Shepley?”

“Yeah you go it Elliot. I’m not going to put your business out there, that is your choice whenever you are ready. I do have one more question though.” What could he possibly want to know now?

“What?”

“So if things work out for you and Jax, what are you going to do about Seanna? Because I am assuming that you are not going to tell anyone about you and him if things become official so what then?” That was a good question and it took me a moment to really think about that.

“If she or anyone else asks I will just tell them that I started dating someone from a different school. I don’t owe anyone at that school a thing.” Shepley smiled once again and nodded before once again talking about whatever was on his mind.

That is all I have to do, I just have to let him know how I have been feeling towards him and that be it. Worst case scenario he freaks out or whatever and I just don’t baby sit him anymore. That seems simple enough. 

Hold up, something just occurred to me. Jaxon and I still don’t have each other’s numbers that is something that we should have exchanged on like the second time me going over there.

“Shepley stay here, I will be right back.” I got off of my bed and ran all the way downstairs and out of my house to go across the street. 

What I am about to do is stupid and don’t you dare judge me for this but it made sense at the time. 

As I was getting closer to Jaxons house I was realizing that I could just tell him everything but I wasn’t. Because I am stupid and that is okay and everyone can just leave me alone. 

I knocked on the door and waited a few moments before hearing someone start to mess with the knob to open it. 

“Elliot? What are you doing here?” It was Jaxon, who was looking so good in his comfy clothes. For a moment I forgot why I came over here. 

“I uh, I was at home and I thought about how you never gave me your number?” It wasn’t supposed to turn into a question but it did because that is just the way I am. 

“I didn’t know that I was supposed to give it to you?” He had a smirk on his face, a smirk that would drive anyone crazy. 

Where are his parents? 

“Well I didn’t ask for it, and I am still not asking. Give me your number.” He was looking up at me like he was sizing me up or something. He was seriously something else. 

This could be my chance to tell him everything, to tell him the truth. But nope, I still wasn’t. 

Jax took a step close to me and then out of nowhere he started to put his hand on the front of me jeans causing me to gasp for air. 

Before I could ask him what he was doing I looked down to see him reaching in my pocket for my phone. 

That did not just happen to me. I was awake down there now and I knew that he could feel my pants begin to tighten, he knew what he was doing to me. 

“Here you go.” He said as he gave me my phone back. I looked down to see what he did and to be honest, it made me smile a little bit.

He made his name in my phone Jaxon with an eggplant next to it. I literally can never let anyone use my phone ever again. 

“This has a nice touch to it.” 

“I did my best. So, is this the only reason you came over here Elliot?” He could see right through me. 

Jaxon knew that there was much more that I wanted to say to him. 

“Actually no, it’s not.” I started. Right now is as good as any. I took a deep breath and then opened my mouth to finally say the words. “Jaxon I—“

“Elliot! What a surprise I didn’t know you were here.” And there is his wonderful mother. Why does this always happen to me? 

“I was just saying hi to Jaxon here, I was actually just heading out.” Jaxon looked so aggravated at his mother and quite honestly I was too. 

I quickly said my goodbyes to him and his mom before she started to talk my head off. 

The next time him and I are alone I am going to tell him. I am going to be honest with him and I don’t care how it ends up as long as I get it off of my chest.