It’s still and dark in Aiden’s bedroom. It must be either very late, or very early. I’m not sure what woke me up.

I roll onto my side, thinking that maybe Aiden is having nightmares. I’m developing a kind of sense for it. Sometimes I wake up before he even starts mumbling.

But I find him sitting up in bed, on top of the comforters, cross-legged in his boxers. He’s looking down at something, turned away from me.

He must hear me sit up, but he doesn’t move. Yawning, I bend forward to rest my cheek against his shoulder blade, wrap my arms around his torso. He’s so warm, and it feels lovely against my forearms.

“Hi.” I brush a sleepy kiss onto his back, just below his neck. “What are you doing?”

His voice is strangely flat, when he answers. “Nothing. Go back to sleep.”

I pause, my face still pressed to Aiden’s back. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m telling you, man, you don’t want to talk to me right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“Well, that’s not really an answer, so-”

“Let it go, Jamie!” he snaps.

I unwind my arms from around him and sit back, suddenly wide awake.

Aiden twists to look at me, his eyes burning with barely-contained anger. Right up until he sees my expression.

He reaches for me, then stops with his arm half-outstretched, like he’s not sure whether I want him to touch me.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” he says, much more softly. “Shit. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out so - it’s not on purpose. When my voice sounds like that, it’s not on purpose. I have to try to make it not sound like that, sometimes, and - fuck. Just - I’m sorry.”

I stare at him, more than a little taken aback.

“Did I do something?”

“No,” Aiden insists. “No, that was all me. I’m pissed off, that’s why I didn’t want us to talk right now, not until I get through-” He draws in a shaky breath. “I can handle it. I’m getting better at handling it. I’m - gonna go for a walk.”

He climbs out of bed, reaching for his clothes. I get up, too, and start looking for mine.

“What are you doing?” Aiden asks, zipping up his jeans.

“I was - can I not come with you? Did you want to go alone? It’s fine if you do, I just thought...”

He hesitates. “You can come, if you want.”

His tone implies that he can’t see any reason I would want to come, but the mental image of an angry Aiden walking alone, in the dark, at this hour of the night - I don’t know. I can’t do that.

“If that’s okay?”

Aiden sighs, then runs a hand over his face. “I - don’t like for you to see me like this.”

“What, angry? Aiden. I knew you in high school. You were angry like, every single day.” I pull on my boxers, then my t-shirt. Where did Aiden throw my flannel, when he pulled it off of me earlier? “Also, I don’t know a whole lot about serious relationships, but I’m pretty sure that we shouldn’t be hiding things like this from each other.”

I stop, realizing that he has the locket in his fingers. He notices me looking, and sets it down on the night table.

“Aiden… it’s really okay if you need to be alone, but-” I fidget with the ring, anxiously twisting it around my finger. “Then I’ll just go home, alright? Don’t go walking around outside, by yourself - it’s late, and dark...”

I fade off. Aiden stares at me, incredulous.

“I can hear it, if something bad is going to happen,” he tells me. “Did you forget that?”

“No, but - it wouldn’t make me less worried about you.”

His expression crumples, and he turns away. I stand there, unsure, wanting to go to him, but - I don’t know the best way to help. I do know that I can rely on Aiden to tell me, when he figures it out himself.

“Just come here,” he says, without turning around.

I dart right to him, spotting my flannel and snagging it on the way. The next few minutes pass in a flurry of pulling on socks, shoes, and jackets.

Then we’re quietly weaving through Kent’s dark living room, out to the sidewalk.

~~~~

I want to take Aiden’s hand, or at least stick close to him, but I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now.

The backs of our hands bump together. Then again. The third time it happens, Aiden takes my fingers. He shoots me an uncertain, sidelong look, and I realize - both of us wanted this. Like me, he didn’t know whether or not it was okay.

I lace my fingers through his, then give his knuckles a gentle caress. He lets out a breath, as if I just did him some huge favor.

“Aiden,” I begin, then fall silent. What helps him? Being quiet, being alone. I’m here trampling all over the alone part, so the least I could offer is quiet. But then I remember what he said when we left Angie’s party, all the way back at the start of summer.

You’re okay to talk, by the way. Honestly, it’s more unsettling when you don’t talk. That makes it feel like a crisis.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever gone on a walk at this hour,” I try. “What is it, like, 4:00 AM?”

Aiden goes to check his watch, but it’s not there. We left in a hurry.

I don’t understand what happened. We made progress with the locket, we left the Ghost Office all excited. We were snuggled up close and cozy when we went to bed. Aiden seemed maybe a little distracted, like some thought was pulling at him, but he's a thoughtful person, so I didn’t read too much into that. When did his mood take such a sharp turn? While I was asleep?

I don’t know if I should say something else, or back off. I pinch my lip between my teeth, my breath unfurling before me as white mist.

Aiden said it wasn’t anything I did. So was it something I didn’t do, or-?

I realize abruptly that I'm being an idiot. Walking in silence, trying to untangle all of this on my own, making assumptions about what’s going on in Aiden’s head? That’s never how we’ve gotten anywhere before.

I stop. Aiden notices a step or two later, and stops as well.

I don’t have to say anything. He reads the question right off of my face.

“It’s… we don’t have to get into it.” He’s speaking slowly, now, like he’s thinking about how each word sounds. “Just let me ride this out, and I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, but - wouldn’t talking about it help, maybe? Is it something to do with the locket? Why were you holding it?” He looks away, and a bubble of frustration bursts in my chest. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s embarrassing!” Aiden’s voice rises again, and he swallows, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to keep saying you’re sorry, I know that you’re trying.” I still have his fingers in mine, and I give them a pull, bringing him closer. “Also, you heard the sound I made when I fell off my couch, so what’s the bar for embarrassing, around here?”

The tiniest hint of a smile flickers over Aiden's lips. “You mean when you screamed?”

“I didn’t scream!” I protest, and then, reconsidering - “Okay, fine, yes, when I screamed. There. Now tell me whatever embarrassing thing is bothering you, please? Or I’ll just start listing embarrassing things that have happened to me. I can tell you all about the Miami spring break trip I took with Kasey.”

The shadow of a smile crosses Aiden's face again. “Was that the one with the sunburn debacle?”

“Yes it was, and that was only one disaster of many. For some reason Kasey and I thought it would be a great idea to get smoothies, then add a bunch of rum to them, and drink on the beach. I was trying to flirt with this cute lifeguard, I got hit by a fucking beach ball, and since I was daytime-drunk, and blindsided, it knocked me right over. And then I knocked him over.”

“Oh, my fucking god.” Aiden puts a hand over his mouth, startled into a laugh.

“Yeah. Kasey was equally as fucked up, and I caught her trying to buy this bizarre piece of art from a shop on Ocean Drive. It was some kind of carving, I think? It was the size of a jelly bean. The thing was nine hundred dollars. She was fully about to put it on her credit card. I got there just in time.”

“Nine hundred dollars! Who carved it, Jesus? Literally, did Jesus himself actually carve it? Because that’s the only way that price tag makes sense.”

Aiden is half-smiling, now. I reach up and gently take his jaw in my hands.

“Come on. What’s happening?”

Aiden grows serious again. He peers at me through the chestnut hair falling over his eyes, then swipes it back out of his face, breathing out a low sigh.

“I just - I was thinking about Ariana.” He looks down at the sidewalk, instead of at me. “She made the trick latch for the locket. Presumably with magic, since it won’t open without magic. And then she made the ghost of a moment, which I didn’t even know was possible, and managed to attach it to the locket. She even made some kind of activation system, with the warmth…”

I don’t see why any of this would make Aiden angry. It seemed like he found it kind of cool, before.

“Alright…?”

“So it’s like-” He’s still looking down, but I can hear the frustration in his voice, even if I can’t see it on his face. “I need to practice, and practice hard, just to turn something. I’m no better at this stuff now than I was as a little kid.”

I don’t know what to say, but before I can so much as open my mouth, Aiden forges ahead. Words start spilling out like some dam has cracked inside of him.

“I just wish,” he says, closing his eyes, “I mean - Ariana clearly had a teacher, a good teacher. That’s how it’s supposed to work. I wasn’t supposed to start trying to save people so young. My mom should have been doing it, and training me, so that I could do it when I was old enough. Who knows what I might be capable of now, if she had taught me even half of what she knew? Maybe I could have saved Kasey, or any of the others that I missed, and instead I’m - struggling so hard to do like, the tiniest fucking things. If she had been here… but she wasn’t, she gave up and she fucking took off on me, and she was the second fucking one to do that. Except it was worse, because I needed her, I-”

He breaks off sharply, then reaches up to adjust the snapback that he’s not wearing. His hand comes away empty, and drops to his side.

I take it, and step closer to him.

I want to respond to basically everything he said, point by point.

Instead, I murmur: “I’m so sorry, Aiden.”

His gaze finally lifts to my face, but immediately darts away again.

“It’s fine.” His voice is strained. “I’ve accepted all that shit. But sometimes it’s hard not to get fucking mad about it.”

I tip forward, nuzzle my face into the spot between his shoulder and his neck. His body is tense and stiff, but I feel it relax a little, when I touch him.

“I think it’s only just hit me,” he says, “That in my entire family line, all of the Callahans who came before me, who were picked by the Guardian Tree… I’m literally the worst at this. Out of everyone. Everyone.”

I think about it for a minute, despite the sharp, painful feelings it stirs in my chest.

“Why doesn’t anybody write it all down?” I ask, eventually. “There’s no Book of Shadows, like in Charmed?”

Aiden snorts, but it’s extremely mirthless.

“Against the rules. You learn the rules before you’re allowed to learn any magic. Number one is don’t tell anybody. Two is don’t write down anything about it. Secrecy is paramount." He sighs again. "Believe me, there's no textbook. If there was, I'd probably be less terrible at this."

I take a second to absorb what he said, before I speak again.

“Is this a private fight, or can anyone get in on it?”

Aiden pulls back to look at me, blinking in confusion. “What?”

“Sorry. It’s something my dad says. I meant - can I tell you my opinion on all this, or is it too personal? You want me to stay out of it, just be here for you?”

“I always want your opinion, Jamie, but you can’t lie, and I’m almost scared to hear what you think about this. Because you can’t honestly look me in the eye and say you find what I do all that impressive. Not after you’ve seen what’s possible.”

I look him directly in the eye. “Can’t I?”

He blinks. “Can you?”

“Yes, I can.”

He scoffs, looking away. I give his hands a tug, forcing him to look back at me.

“Aiden. You just said. I can’t lie about shit.”

“Maybe you believe it, but you’re wrong.”

I try to channel that extremely firm, no-arguments voice that he can do. “I am not wrong.”

He waits, head tipped to one side, for an explanation.

“You’re being too tough on yourself. You were put into a seriously unfair situation, and you’re finding ways to make things work.” I give his hands a squeeze. “You think you’re less talented than Ariana? That’s not true. It's like you said: you haven’t had the chance to learn, like she did. Think about how far you’ve come, since you’ve been home. Think of thirty doors closing at once, or the ghost goggles in your pocket. Or the fact that Kasey is still around, because of something you did."

Aiden shakes his head, but I press on before he can interrupt.

"Could you have done any of that stuff even in like, January? No, you know you couldn’t. Think about what another year of practice might do. And, um, tiny little detail, but - you’ve saved the lives of three fucking people this summer. You really think I wouldn’t find that incredible?”

His expression is complicated. His blue eyes are searching mine for something.

“When you’re super skilled with your powers,” I tell him, “It’s going to be all the more impressive, because you did it all by yourself.”

Aiden's eyes flit to our intertwined hands. His fingers tighten around mine.

“No,” he says. “Not all by myself.”

He looks up again. His gaze catches mine, and holds it.

I find myself effortlessly communicating with my eyes what I’ve been struggling so hard to tell him with words.

It’s a silent message. Our connection isn’t open, and Aiden has no way to hear it. But whatever he sees in my eyes, it stops him still.

The silence hangs for one, two, and now three seconds. This moment has come out of nowhere, and neither of us seems to know what to do with it. He’s definitely not angry anymore, or thinking about the past. He feels very here, very present, looking into my eyes like -

Like maybe he’s trying to send a message back.

I take a breath, open my mouth.

Aiden blinks, and quickly glances away.

“Thanks, Keane.” He hooks an arm around my shoulder, ruffling my hair. “For making me feel better. And I’m really sorry that I yelled at you. That was some bullshit.”

“You didn’t really yell,” I manage. “But you were awfully snippy.”

He laughs. That feels like a reward of its own, but I’m trying to figure out where we just went wrong. For a second there, I thought...

Only later, when we’ve curled up in his bed again, do I put it together. Aiden was thinking about his mom, like, one minute before that happened. His mind probably went right to all that stuff she drilled into him.

Despite Aiden's anger with his mom, she must still have some influence over the way he thinks about things.

It’s something we’ll have to overcome together, but that’s okay. We can do that, I think.

We are Companion Plants, after all.