Ahem.

Fellow Gods and Goddess,
Mount Olympus is under a crisis.

Due to the rise of technology, modern science, and this new mystical realm called the Ethereal Net, we have lost many of our followers in our religion.

As you may know, we rely on the mortals to worship and praise us in order to exist in their plane, to maintain our godly powers, and most important of all receiving offerings and donations to sustain the economy of Mount Olympus.

..........

... Yes Dionysus, the rumors are true. Lord Ares didn't burn down your Wine Garden, that was a cover up to make you feel better.

It's the fact that many of your own wine loving followers having left thy temple, your favorite place of leisure has turned into dust and faded away... 

No, we do not have the faith budget to make a new one, please be patient.

Everyone, please do not panic! If it's not my wife nagging me if I had an affair with another goddess, mortal woman, or heavenly cow - the last thing I want is to see you all abandon your heavenly posts in a traumatic fashion!

Thus, I have a Proposal!

... Would someone kindly have Lady Aphrodite stop crying! My wife is becoming suspicious she is with my child! Which is Fake News, all of it!