(There are suggestive things in here. More Mature things. I didn't plan on it happening, but I need to move this story along lol.)
Aaron's POV
Unfinished cake laid on the little coffee table in front of my couch. The only thing lighting up the room was the TV, which was playing the show Supernatural. It was Emery's favorite show. No surprise there. However, while re-watching season one for my sake, he had fallen asleep. His small hoodied head was leaning against my shoulder. I, myself, had also gotten a little drowsy, but he had fallen into a deep sleep before I could even close my eyes.
I took this moment to observe this curious boy close up. I've learned a few things in the past week about Emery Adams. A lot more than anybody probably did, if what he said was true- that he had no friends. In the span of the week, I have learned that he's gay, has two siblings named Wednesday and Pugsley, has a cousin he'd rather avoid, is a very curious person, and he's super sweet. Like really sweet. He had bought me a small cake in exchange for his stay, which we ate together, and I have to say...the kid was really growing on me.
My mind was torn as I stared at his adorable sleeping face. I haven't been with anybody in a while, so this renewed warmth- someone snuggling into me again- was super mindblowing to me. I had almost forgotten what it was like to have a friend. And, looking at his small face, he made me crave to have a boyfriend again. Someone to hold, just as small as him. Someone to kiss. Somebody to love. But, on the other hand, I didn't just want anybody- I wanted Severus. I wanted to hold Severus again. I wanted to kiss Severus again. I wanted to be with Severus again.
I glanced at the coffee table, only to see a pen scribbling across the paper pad that I always carried around with me. Usually, it stayed on the coffee table while I was home. I had to stealthily grab Severus's note without waking the Sleeping Beauty on my shoulder, but I managed.
The note read:
All you think of is the future and the past- not of the present. You have a beautiful boy, who needs you, sleeping on your shoulder. Yet all you think about is me. I may be your guardian, but I'm not his. That's your job.
"And who says that?" I whispered into the lifeless living room, " Your the one who can fight, not me."
You can't fight, but you can heal.
"And what can that do, Severin? Am I supposed to heal the bullies away?" I asked the air.
You have the passion to protect, just as I do...you just project it in different ways. I would fight to protect, but you would protect me by putting logic through my head in times that I lost it. You're striving to become a doctor. You would be protecting people from dying all of the time.
"Yeah, Severus. And the only reason I wanted to become a doctor is because I didn't want anybody to end up like me!" I was talking at normal volume now, "I didn't want them to have constant nightmares! I didn't want anybody else to remember the day their loved one died, and every single moment that led up to their death. I want to save them from what I went through. The depression. The counseling that I eventually quit. The process of pushing everyone away from you until you are a thousand miles from your family, in a city that you have never been to, and with no friends because you've turned into this hollow shell and you think everyone can see it!"
It took a little bit for Severus to pick up the pen.
Stop forming your life around what happened to me. And start forming your life around what's best for you.
With that, he tossed the pen into the kitchen, signaling that he didn't want to talk anymore.
I sighed, calming down. I looked to the side at Emery, who was still sound asleep. I guess that's another thing I've learned: he's a deep sleeper. I decided that I needed to go to bed as well and lifted his head off of my shoulder and gently laid it onto the couch. I grabbed the remote and switched off the TV.
I took one last look at Emery, debating on whether or not I should do what I've been dreaming of doing for a while. Quickly, I dashed down and gave Emery a peck on the temple with my lips.
Don't worry, Emery, I'll be your guardian. But I won't promise that I'll be a good one.
Though it was quick, the kiss sent little tingles through my lips. I knew that I was attracted to him, but I could let myself think too much about it. It was a friendly kiss. Yeah, a friendly kiss. I was still completely in love with Severus.
But I couldn't help but doubt myself for the first time in three years.
I could practically hear Severus's words echo through me:
I love you, so I'm willing to let you go. And...you have to be willing to let me go too. I want you to be happy.
Am I really happy with wasting away until I eventually die? To be with Severus and only Severus? Even so, would I want to date Emery? He's my only friend and I don't want to lose him because I can't move on.
I had a lot to think about, but first: sleep. I dragged my feet to my bedroom with a whole new set of weights on my shoulders.
~{()}~
Footsteps, clicking, a bang, whistling, screams, and sirens. Only sound in darkness.
I have had this same nightmare for three years, though now it only comes every so often. But it never really goes away.
Knowing what's coming, I scream.
I wake up in a cold sweat, not sure if what I'm seeing is the reality. Soon though, I notice the boring gray walls of my apartment- a complete contrast to the yellow walls of my mom's old living room- and realize that I am safe.
My door busted open and Emery came stumbling through, wide-eyed.
"Are you okay?!" he asked with panic, then calmed when he realized I was perfectly fine, " I-I heard you scream."
Confusion graced my face; did I really scream out loud? It wasn't all a dream?
"I'm fine," I reassured, feeling a drop of sweat trail down my neck. Emery watched the drop of sweat roll down under my nightshirt, then looked back up at me. Interesting. "I just had a nightmare. That's all," I continued.
He tilted his head to the side before sliding onto the edge of my bed.
"Must have been a pretty bad nightmare then," he commented, twiddling his fingers nervously.
"I'm used to it," I replied, trying to reassure him. Turns out, that only seemed to make him feel worse. He got up and sat closer to me, slowly inching himself towards me.
"Do you think you will be able to go back to sleep?" he asked. I sighed, bringing up the bottom of my shirt to wipe the sweat off my forehead. The action might have shown a little of my abdomen, but I'm sure Emery didn't mind. I pulled the shirt down, only to catch his eyes flicking back up from obviously staring at my bare belly. Oh, he definitely didn't mind.
"No, probably not," I answered, "I'll have to take a shower anyway. I feel gross with all of this sweat on me."
"Well, then, I can keep you company!" Emery said, beaming. I shook my head, pulling back the covers to exit my bed.
"No, you need to sleep," I reminded, giving Emery a good hair-ruffle as I passed him on my way to my dresser. He fixed his bedhead back and frowned at me while I was gathering clothes.
"It's the least I could do for your kindness to me," Emery noted, "And I'd much rather be in bed with you than on the couch, alone."
I looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.
"I-I mean-" he stuttered, "Not that I wouldn't want to sleep with you- I MEAN- not that kind of sleep! I mean that- it's just- you're really warm and you smell good- but you know I'm not meaning it in that kind of way-"
"Okay," I said, smiling and holding up a hand to silence him, "I'm going to stop you before you embarrass yourself even more. You can stay up with me if you want, but I'm going to take a shower."
"O-Okay," he stuttered, his pale face a bright red, perched on the end of the bed. The sight of him now, without context, would be that of a virgin about to have his first time. That's what he looked like: perched on the bed with both excitement and self-awareness in his eyes, blushing like a cherry, and yet, he was extremely nervous
Before I could think of anything sexual containing Emery, I grabbed my clothes and exited the bedroom to the bathroom beside it. It was hard not having a boyfriend- everyone you're interested in turns you on. I didn't want to think of Emery that way. I didn't want to mess up the only friendship I had. But God, I couldn't help but wonder if he was still a virgin. I mean, that would be a miracle: eighteen years old and haven't popped the cherry yet, but it wasn't impossible. Plus, I'm pretty sure Emery said he had no friends. Does that include boyfriends? I wonder as I stripped down and turned on the water.
Which brings me to Emery's attitude around me. The jealousy he had towards the pizza guy. The way his eyes seem to roam my body when he thinks I'm not looking. The little incident before I got in the shower. It made me think: Did he have a crush on me? But I quickly dismissed it, Nah, he's probably just amazed by all the hard work it took to get this body. And maybe the pizza guy was an old foe? Who knows, I shouldn't assume.
But when I got into the shower, I was taken out of my thoughts by a slight discomfort in my nether regions. Holy- Little me was wide awake, and I had no idea whether it was just a natural occurrence or the fact that I was thinking about Emery having a crush on me and being a virgin.
Those two things, I knew, had an effect on me. Someone so pure, having a crush on me? Ugh, thoughts like this made shivers go down my spine. But was it enough to turn me on?
It was probably just a natural, random boner, I decided. It was probably just a coincidence that I got it while thinking of Emery. Just a coincidence.
I turned the shower to cold, knowing it would be much more pleasant to satisfy myself; however, I couldn't be doing things like that when Emery was in the room right next to the bathroom, waiting for me.
Ugh, Emery. I shouldn't be thinking of him- just in case that's the reason for little me to pop up. I didn't want it to be weird, even though it will already be awkward to walk back into that room where he was sitting.
Sitting there, waiting for me to come to him, like a good little boy.
This kid will be the death of me, I thought, and then continued my shower-thankfully- thoughtless.
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