WARNING- bad language and dark thoughts

What did I do?

What even is my worth?

Why cant I do anything right! you useless lazy piece of shit!

Why does this SHIT always happen?

Why is it my fucking brain chooses to make me feel this way!?

WHY CANT I JUST BE ENOUGH

I don't even know why...

I cant even let people touch me without me jumping and flinching whenever someone yells.

I have a lot of good things, good home, good education, good parents......

Why do i think about tying this thin lace around my neck and loosing all my sight. blurring it out till I hear ringing in my ears.

then see black nothing but black.... I don't wanna be attention seeking i just hate this.

I'm sorry if i seem malicious or cruel I don't mean to be.

I'm sorry what were you saying cause I don't even know what I was saying