When I wake up, sunlight is already filtering through the curtains of the window. It takes me a moment to realize where I am. I had a good night’s sleep for the first time in a while. It’s strange to find a little bit of comfort and peace in a stranger’s place. Well, not so much of a stranger.

I get up from bed. I have this habit of NOT making my bed in the morning for the sole reason that I’m just going to mess it up again in the evening, so why bother? But since I’m just a guest here, I force myself to do it, making sure that the bed looks just like how it was before I slept on it.

Satisfied with my non-existent bed-making skills, I get out of the room to see if Ian is already awake. I’m going to meet with my org mates for our weekly meetings first before I can look for a new apartment. I need to ask Ian if I can leave my things here and get it back later once I find a place.

I’m about to knock at Ian’s door when I hear him singing inside the bathroom. At least someone’s in a good mood today. While waiting for Ian, I look around the living room. Pictures of Ian with his mother and sister are everywhere, their faces radiating with happiness. I remember how close the three of them are. It must have been hard for Ian to be left alone here.

I pick up a photo of young Ian and Ysa. They’re standing side by side, Ysa with her tongue sticking out and Ian affectionately ruffling Ysa’s hair. Ysa is the girl version of her brother, but with more energy and enthusiasm. I can still recall that one time when we picked up Ysa at her school because Ian’s mother’s car broke down. The three of us were walking back to the car when we passed by a group of drunks that threw some homophobic slurs at me and Ian. Ian had his arms around my shoulder that time. Ysa would have fought with those drunks if Ian didn’t stop her.

I’m admiring Ian’s baby photos when the bathroom door opened. I look up to see a very naked Ian coming out, his towel slung over his shoulder. When he sees me, he covers himself with the towel almost lazily, as if he doesn’t care whether I see his nakedness. I look away quickly to hide my embarrassment.

“Gising ka na pala,” Ian teases me, looking directly at my crotch. He smiles playfully, enjoying my awkwardness.

“Magbihis ka nga muna. Wala ka talagang kahiya-hiya sa katawan,” I tell him, pretending not to be affected by the sight of him.

“Malay ko ba na nandiyan ka. Besides, you already saw this before. No need to be embarrassed,” Ian’s smirk widens. “Saka sa’yo lang naman nawawala ang hiya ko.”

“Awan sa’yo. Sige na magbihis ka na doon. I want to talk to you about something.”

Ian walks slowly back to his room, teasing me further. I threw a pillow at him, hitting him at the back. He only laughs at me before shutting the door of his room. I don’t know why, but I’m relieved that he still acts the same way around me. Ian is very reserved when it comes to other people, but when he’s with me, he seems like a different person. He laughs out loud a lot, cracking jokes at every opportunity. It used to make me feel like I’m the only one who can get inside the walls that he built around himself.

He comes back wearing a white shirt and boxer shorts, his hair still wet from the shower. He sits on the chair across me.

“You want to talk about something?” he asks me.

“Yeah. I’m wondering if I can leave my things here while I’m outside,” I start. “Makikipagkita kasi muna ako sa mga ka-org mate ko for our meeting bago ako maghanap ng apartment kaya iiwan ko sana muna dito ang mga gamit ko kung okay lang sa iyo.”

“Of course naman. You don’t have to worry,” he readily agrees. “May pupuntahan rin naman ako mamaya, so it’s not a big deal. What time are you leaving? Kumain ka na muna ng breakfast bago ka umalis.”

“Liligo lang ako tapos paalis na rin ako. We’re meeting at Café Florentina. Doon na lang ako kakain, but thanks for the offer.”

I get back to Ysa’s room to get ready. I have to make sure to bring all the files that I need to discuss with my org. After showering, I quickly get dressed and gather my things.

“Paalis na ako,” I inform Ian as I passed by him at the living room. He’s watching some cartoons on TV. “Babalik agada ko. Pasensya na talaga sa abala.”

“Okay nga lang sabi.” He briefly looks at me and waves goodbye. “Sige. Ingat ka.”