Shaking knees, my heart was racing. Why does it take him so long to get to this damn door!
Kneading my already wet hands. I hope he doesn’t want to shake them. A flash of fear shivered through my body. The door opened and a smiling Mister Bakker stood in the frame.
“Hello Kaya, come in! I already prepared everything” He sounded exited, way too excited. His hands showing me the way into his house. Everything felt like it slowed down. The way to his living room seemed so long. The pictures on the walls following each of my steps. Something felt so off about all this here. But I couldn’t figure out what it was.
“Can I take your jacket?” I turned to him, a big smile graced his face. A toned down “Mmmh” left my throat and I handed him my jacket. He then pointed to his dinner table where a lot of books waited.
Like a snail I made my way to the table. I swear if he isn’t deaf, he could hear me breathing. I sounded like a dying cat. Trying to slow down my breathing I took the seat across the pile of books.
“Soo… I thought we would start were we ended this morning?!” He looked at me, an innocent smile across his face. Something IS off. I feel it. He’s never so nice to a student. Maybe Mom just paid him extra? While trying to convince myself that I don’t get murdered and that my anxiety is getting out of hand, we started our little study session.
I didn’t think much when he took the chair next to me. Perhaps he didn’t want to turn his paper around all the time. But over time he slowly came closer and closer. My body shivered when it felt the warmth of the other. He was so close, my mind was spinning. How do I get him away from me?
While panicking inside I tried my best for a half assed pokerface. I didn’t know if it helped, but he turned to me. Sitting now face to face with him. He is still smiling and slowly started to look like a psychopath. How can a human smile for so long? His brown eyes weren’t focusing on mine. No, they had another aim. When I realized that I crossed my arms in front of my chest. I got dizzy, so dizzy. My world started turning a bit. Was something in the water he gave me? No, he’s my teacher and I am clearly overacting. I was still staring at him, waiting for his next move. He laughed and put one of his giant hands on my crossed arms. His palm was sweaty, it disgusted me, but I didn’t moved one muscle in my face.
“Don’t be so shy. I like the view.” He whispered.He breath smelled like a drank a truck of coffee with a peppermint leaf on top. Like something bite me, I jumped up. My eyes already pinning down my escape route. I must get out of here. I pushed the chair away. I felt my legs starting to sprint. My heart rate faster than ever, blood pumping through my body making me feel alive. A shiver down my spine. Pupils wide dilated, seeing everything in HD. Everything started to scream run. Run now!
three steps and then I hit the floor. Face first, the rest of my body following gravity. Every muscle felt so unbelievable heavy. I tried to lift my head. Nothing. Unable to move, I looked around the floor. The feet in front of me wiggling around in joy. He squatted down, turned his head to the side. Our eyes meeting the second time this evening. His eyes seem to glow red. Now I saw the demon he was, not human at all. He giggled around like a 4-year-old boy. Joyfully playing with a strain of my strawberry blond hair.
“Ohh Kaya, Love. Did you hit your pretty face? My bad, I should have warned you.” A little laugh slided through the room. It was so scarily quiet. Tears started to form. Don’t you think about crying! You know what mom told you. ‘When you cry, they will hurt you more because they see you’re afraid. It makes them happy, so never cry!’
“Do you want to know what I gave you?” He clapped his hand and sat down on the floor.
“I first wanted to use botox, but it’s deadly.” Another giggle, the silents got louder.
”So I just used VX.” A Joker like smile grazed his face while my eyes tried to widen. VX is a toxin people used in the War and is not to play around with. I learned it in one of his Chem classes.
How can he get VX nowadays? And how can he still stand? You can only breath VX in. Trying to look shocked against the paralyzing feeling of my body.
“And you still remember that you die because you stop breathing, right Love?” Now I started crying, I couldn’t hold it any longer and now I was sure he wanted to kill me. So why hold it in? I couldn’t even really cry. My body was deadly paralyzed. A crippling feeling. I am so scared.
So, my life is going to end now? After 18 years of hard work to become a good person. The person I always wanted to be. After chasing dreams, that will now never come alive.
My head was screaming at me, the flight or fight system turning on again. But all my movements were blocked. A tingling feeling stormed my body every two seconds as I tried to move away from the demon.
I was praying, hoping. I felt how I slowly passed out. First my body felt like a big mess and my brain felt on fire, but a cozy fire. A little campfire in my head. Then I just wanted to let go. I didn’t care anymore. Just letting go felt right at the moment. Not thinking, I let darkness eat me up. I said my last goodbye and thanked Mom and Sister how wonderful they were. I hope I won't hurt them too bad with my dead.