I decided to humour this side of him and patted his head, he hummed softly like he was purring. He moved his head so I could pet him more comfortably. Why was he doing this? Chic is being very unusual it was almost disturbing.
While I pet him my thoughts went to my recent dreams. I have been getting used to them recently so as to not bother me mentally. But those dreams weren’t my memories. I never actually killed for the sake of killing, I always had a reason to. I also would never harm my cat, even if the thought crossed my mind for my mom’s cats.
My head started to ache and the head I was petting moved to look at me.
“Tsk, you’re cryin’” Chic said and used a hand seemingly wipe the side of my face. I gulped down air pulled myself back to the present. His eyes... they looked warm. It seems he didn’t like the distance I put between us and pulled me to him. Seems like it was his turn to pet me, why was it so hard to breathe? “It’s okay, Umber. We can’t all be dead to the world as well as you, but it’s nice to know that there are some things that get to you.” To use against me? I need to stop. I can’t give them this much control... I need to stop these emotions. “Let it out, once you do I’ll tell you a secret. I know you like keeping things to yourself to use against others.” He’s... blackmailing me? How does he know that I also blackmail others? Is it on those papers that they have gathered of me?
It took time to control my breathing again, I’m still not sure what the hell happened to trigger that episode. Listening to Blair breathe was calming, the gentle strokes of his hand was soothing. It seems my mind isn’t as stone cold as I want it to be... I hate this. This is the reason why I block those out. But it seems there was a crack somewhere and Blair found it.
I sighed feeling empty once again, seems like it was necessary to let those emotions out. I should have done this when no one was around. Or when the doctor tortures me. I should have realized sooner to what was going on.
“I’ve always wanted to hug you, but it seems like you keep everyone at a distance. Like you are afraid of letting someone close again. You always looked so sad, it hurt seeing you like that. I’m sorry for always being mad, I’m just worried about you. Since you behave like that during the beatings... It’s worrying. Don’t hide around me, be honest like how you were today.” I couldn’t say anything against that, the only thing I could do was agree... as much as I hate it, I have to show him emotions. Would it count if they were fake? If I used this against him wouldn’t he be even more hurt?
I like that thought.
I smiled and hugged him tighter, yeah, I’ll turn this to my favour. I felt him hug me tighter and couldn’t contain the salty water from my eyes. Why were they even there? What triggered it? Maybe they really were conditioning me for the outside world. The warmth of Chic’s body, the kind words... I don’t normally react to human emotions like this. They were suppose to be nothing to me. Yet... why was I showing them now? To Chic none the less. The doctor was the only one to make me physically cry out in pain... so why was this torture different? It felt like something cutting into my heart. Or where my heart should have been. I know I don’t have one anymore.
I was later brought down the blanket long gone back to Chic’s room where he brought it from. I looked at the set table, I was hardly surprised that it was some sort of spicy food. Twisting my expression to a disgusted look, nearly dreading the meal in front of me. Luckily Chic didn’t see it as he was behind me, I bravely walked forward and sat down to eat.
It was everything I dread, the burned mouth, tears to the eyes, runny nose, it was horrible. I probably won’t be able to see anything out of my eyes tomorrow. That much was for certain, but I gained the trust of one of the buff guys. That was something out of this ordeal... Right?
I was resting in my room in the basement just trying to grasp at what happened during today. I still haven’t found the channel to the camera’s in my room if there were any at all. Which is silly because I know there are. I tried getting back my defying thoughts but they are slowly slipping away, my paranoia is also dissipating. Not constantly looking behind me being shot. I know when I’ll be hurt which was slightly comforting but more worrying. I wasn’t sure which one was worse, knowing when I’ll be hit or never knowing. I sighed and wondered if it would be best to be the hollow shell they want me to be... if that is what they wanted.
They want my suffering, that much is true, is this part of the suffering? Taking everything I knew and changing it to something different to be worried about? They don’t want me dead, so I shouldn’t be like a hollow husk, to Path and now Chic that would be as equivalent as dead. What about Lou? I don’t know anything about him other than that he’s quiet and allows me small bits of freedom.
Or maybe being attached is part of that suffering? Should I cast them out so I don’t get fully attached? I already feel attached to Path and now Chic is weaseling his way in as well... What does Lou get from all this? What does Chic get? I already know Path’s motive. What about the others?
The door opened and the doctor came in in all her smiles.
“Look at you, all healed up. Shame. Well let me give you a check up and we’ll see about your next appointment,” she was being professional. I followed her instructions and was given the go ahead for the next physical torment. I haven’t even realized that I stayed up all night thinking. I guess I really was anxious about this meeting. Strange.
As always, I wasn’t given food or water since the second beating I made quiet a gross mess when hit. Guess blood doesn’t bother them but digested food does. Well who wouldn’t it bother? Not to mention that when I landed on the stomach waste one of my wound got infected. That was fun.
Lou walked in put me in the thick shackles and marched me up the stairs.
Chic put the usual thick bag over my head so I don’t know where the hell we are going.
Path is already at the site it seems, and my guess with his new pet.
The car stopped somewhere and I was brought out. The door was loud and creaky, and large. Once it was closed the hood came off and I was escorted to the hook where I’ll spend my time hanging by my hands. Path was there smiles, with a terrified girl. Once she saw me, she started pleading.
“Please, I didn’t do anything wrong... please let me go!” Path only sighed while the girl clung to me not realizing my own situation.
“You got the wrong one, I’m a detective-”
“Then you and your men are here for me after all! I’m saved?” she was hopeful until I rose my shackles.
“I’m afraid I’m in the same situation as you...” Her face fell, I’ll admit it was satisfying to watch that hopeful gaze shatter before my eyes. I could never get tired of that, too bad it only happens once until you conditioned someone to do it all the time. I never had the patience for it.
The hook was lowered and I hooked myself up. I had tried fighting them but once I realized where I was it was no use. I was surrounded by empty houses and over grown roads. The hook rose along with me and my outstretched body. The girl whimpered near by, Path saying something to her. Maybe along the lines of “See how well behaved he is? I’ll treasure him more than you, he has the best expressions.” I frowned when Chic’s gaze met mine. It almost made me sick, I looked away from him towards the girl.
Path was making her watch, hasn’t even started yet and already has tears in her eyes. “It gets worse if you resist,” I said both for her sake and mine. I know it gets worse if I resisted too much, gets worse if I don’t resist too. Still never found that sweet spot where it stays constant or hurts less. Maybe it was best.
“Let’s start with the usual but take turns hitting him. We’ll get to the weapons soon enough once his skin is a nice blue color.” A voice sounded, could only think it was the boss. I braced myself for the hit that Lou was famous for.
The strike was swift and the next one that struck soon after was just as painful. My gut was the softest place and was more sensitive than any other spot. My sides were then hit with the fury of Chic, and I was twisted and swung to Lou for his next hit. I wasn’t surprised that they used me like a punching bag, it sure felt like it with the force of the hits.
The girl wasn’t enjoying the show, she kept screaming hoping someone would hear her.
Sorry, no one will hear you here other then the five men already present.
Once again, I had somehow managed to stay quiet during that force, now the second wave. My bruises started to show, and the second round would begin after they rested a few minutes.
“Why are they doing this to you?” the girl was on a leash and Path was watching her interact with me.
“I put Kyle Shivers away, shame too, I like working under him. Just too bad I decided to be a good guy.” I said and sighed.
“Why don’t you run away?” she asked.
“I have, we are in the middle of no where in a deserted town overgrown by the forest. It’s actually quite nice, I enjoy the time outside.”
“Why not fight back?”
“I have, your captor was pissed because I gave him a black eye.”
“Are you planning of escaping at all?”
“How can I? I don’t have the keys to the doors, the windows are too high and I don’t fancy on breaking my legs during a three story fall. Do you?”
“Are you just giving up?”
“What else can I do? I think about killing others, and you are also cute to kill. Too bad I won’t be able to do it. Can already imagine how that face will scream as the knife sinks in, your warm blood seeping out. You know my first victim was a guy named Charlie Hecktorson. He was in his teens, I had a pocket knife and he locked us in the boys bathroom to the high school we were going to. You should have seen it, blood was everywhere, I didn’t even know what happened. When I came down from that rush I wanted to skin him, but the door was busted open. Can you believe I got so scared I cried? They mistook it as ‘I didn’t want to do it but was forced to in self defence’. Heheh they bought the story of what they assumed. Was never asked any questions, wasn’t harassed ever again. It was the best two years I had there.”
She looked horrified after I told her my first. Couldn’t really blame her, Coale reacted the same way but then laughed it off as an overactive imagination. Timber also laughed it off and told me to write horror stories of hack and slash murderers. Maybe I should have?
“I thought of killing a lot of people, thought of how to do it without getting caught. I guess this is my punishment for those thoughts in harming others.”
“You’re a monster and you are a detective?”
“Makes you think, huh? Who else poses as a good guy but is actually a sick monster on the inside? Give a new meaning to ‘Stranger Danger’ or ‘Can’t even trust your uncle’. Good thing I was an only child, cut off from family with only my mother to look after me. You know I don’t even know how I turned out to be this way. Who caused it, why. Actually I don’t really care. I hope Ash gives me the full detail of how he kills you. Gets boring being strapped down to a hospital bed in the basement.”
“How long has this been happening to you?”
“I don’t know, when was Valentine’s day? Or Christmas? Maybe it was before that even, just before the snow fell? Well couldn’t have been Christmas, these people are strangely festive. Well Ash is for Valentine’s. What day is it now?”
“I don’t...”
“Ah, just as in the dark as I am. I think you were captured near Valentine’s or before it. After?”
“It’s been a long time... I want to go home,” she started crying.
“He’s 8 getting 5 tired of you, he’s 12 only tolerating 16 you right now because 13 he wants us to meet. You won’t get to go home, you won’t be 5 saved.”
“What?”
“Eight, Five, Twelve, Sixteen, Thirteen, Five,” I whispered. “They don’t check inventory,” I added. I know she won’t be able to get that out, but it was still a small hope that she’ll survive. “I’d wait if I were you, don’t attack with all of them present.”
“Alright, break time’s over,” Path said and pulled the girl away from me. I was once again used like a punching bag. I was starting to get itchy where they struck and I hoped that they would strike there again just so it could go away. But sadly they never did, and the feeling just got worse, never mind the pain.
Once their fist was red and bloody, my blood, they stopped for a breather again. The weapons were brought out, Chic and Path were all too happy for this. Path handed the leash over to Lou to surprise the girl. I always enjoyed this, Path knew where I wanted to be scratched and made sure to itch it for me. Chic picked up a wooden bat and Path picked up his little knife.
Now the onslaught of whacking and slashing had begun, the ground below me was a dark red puddle, my sweatpants were ruined and my shirt was shredded soaking in the blood below me. I was lowered to the floor and I just laid there as the gun was brought out. Chic made sure to keep away from any thing that could be fatal and only grazed me on the arms and legs. The pain was short and cooling, not sure but I think I’m starting to enjoy getting shot. The knife was like a back scratcher of sorts and the gun just cools my heated wounds and marked flesh. I really am becoming a masochist, the only thing missing is the nice hard on I should be sporting.
“Seems like a good time to stop, hook him back up again resume beating him with the weapons until he passes out.” the boss said and with that the beating of wooden bats, or metal bats, pipes and whatnot was brought swinging in my direction. That’s when the pain started to settle in, the prickle of the abused flesh started screaming in agony as the nerves started to flower with the force of the hit. I was doing so well with controlling my facial expressions but now I can hardly keep from grunting as the weapons started raining down on my open wounds and formed bruises.
But the look on the girl, never did get her name, but she looked broken. I have to admit it was great watching her during the whole thing. She’s probably considering her own fate, either accept what’s coming or fight with everything she has. I really do hope she gets out, but if not it will be a great dinner conversation with Path. Something I can actually contribute to, I need to remember to ask him why he hadn’t done this sooner, we could have bonded better if he brought his victims more often. I must be getting lonely for some more human companionship. They are just not enough for me anymore. Or maybe they are changing that by getting close? I know I want Path to bring more of his pets with him for the next beating. That’s probably the first time I want something from them, or maybe it wasn’t the first time? Maybe I asked for other things and just don’t really remember, what if i asked them to go outside? What if I asked them if I could explore the house...
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