- Heavy code is used at the end
- Slight mentions and dreams of Rape
I’ve been feeling more and more tired lately, also hungry, how long has it been since I last ate? I’ve been drinking more from the bathroom lately hoping that it will stop me from feeling even more hungry. It seems that this was their plan all along, depending on certain people for certain things. I haven’t even realized it, I must have relied on Path for food, Chic for comfort, and Lou for... what was he for? He’s barely here. I never developed any form of attachment to Lou like I did with Chic and Path. Why was he here?
Lately, he’s been gone most of the time, gone where? And now Path and Chic are gone... where have they gone? Am I locked down here with no one to watch me? I got up, not realizing how weak I’ve become. I slowly made my way to the door and tried it.
“Sorry, Ember. You’ll have to stay in there until Ash and Blair comes back,” I heard Lou’s response and wondered if he was actually there. I still felt intimidated but tried the door again.
Silence.
I waited a few more minutes before trying the door.
Silence.
The intimidation never left, like Lou was there just radiating some kind of hate? Anger? I shivered but dared to try the door again.
My hand went to the knob, but it didn’t move. I couldn’t move. My hand shook and I wanted to whimper. I took a few steps back trying to calm down.
What was that?
Why was I suddenly scared?
My stomach growled. I smelled something in the air that wasn’t sweet or spicy, it smelled like actual food. Good food...
“You’ll have to wait a while longer, I don’t know how to cook...” Lou’s voice sounded through the door. For some reason, it relaxed me, like I wasn’t alone after all. Was that it? Scared of being left alone? Left behind? Why was I like this now?
Walking back to the bed I sat down wrapping my arms around myself. I was tired, hungry and weak. And lonely...
I hope they come back soon, it feels like days now.
I tossed and turned in the bed trying to find some sort of comfort, soon the door opened and I was now only half asleep.
“You look tired, you should rest some more,” it was Lou, his voice sounded so gentle. “Rest, Ember. Don’t fight it, rest,” I closed my eyes to rest, hopefully, I’ll finally get something to eat.
Waking up again to the smell of something sweet, I expected Path to be there to feed me. I don’t even mind the sweet food, or wouldn’t care if it was spicy in the end. I just wanted something to eat. What greeted me was a dark shadow looming over me. I wanted to voice who it was but I couldn’t tell if they don’t talk.
I opened my mouth to ask if it was Chic but no sound came out. I held a hand to my throat and tried to make a sound, any sound.
“Shh,” the voice was a new one, it sounded like Chic, or Lou, or Path? I didn’t know which one. I felt my hand start to shake.
The shadow made a small ‘tsk’ noise before taking my shaking hand from my neck and kissing it softly. “You okay?” the shadow asked, I shook my head no. Of course, I’m not okay, I can’t speak and I don’t know who you are. “It’s okay, I’m here now, it’s okay, shh,” the shadow tried to calm me but I don’t think it’s working. I’m still scared. This might be the first time I feel scared.
I finally made a sound, but it was a sob.
What triggered this fear?
Why can’t I speak?
The shadow held me closer soothing me, I tried to pull away but it doesn’t let me. I’m starting to feel smothered.
Finally, the shadow pulls away and makes me look at them. I can’t see any kind of feature that would remind me of any of them it was like they were all mixed together fighting for who could show who was who.
The shadow leaned forward and kissed me, I was shocked, none of them ever tried to make a move on me. Why now? I used both hands to push them away but they held me closer instead. I was struggling now. Struggling so much that I was then held down by his hand on my neck, nearly choking me. Again I tried to make a sound, but it seems I’m still mute. My eyes started to ache and burn, I can’t seem to stop shaking, and it’s not just my hands but now my whole body.
“You going to behave?” they asked and I struggled more, the hand tightened. “I guess I’ll have to teach you,” I was then turned to lay on my stomach, I couldn’t help but whimper. What was going on? My head was then pressed down into the pillow and I felt a sharp pain in my back.
I woke up with a start when I smelled something spicy in the air. I looked at the figure standing at my bedside and I instantly backed up.
“Hey, Buddy! You okay,” Path, it sounded like Path! “What is it? Bad dream?” I don’t know whether to jump in his arms or run in fear. Path took my hand gently and kissed my palm as he knelt. “You want to tell me about it?” he asked using the same soft voice he used when I woke up. I don’t know if I can talk now, I don’t want to. Path smiled at me and slowly got up to sit beside me, out of reflex and the dream I flinched. “Is this okay?” he asked, and it takes me a few seconds to decide if he was fine there or not.
I nod.
“Okay, what happened? You don’t normally act like this when you have a bad dream. Most times you brush it off, how was this one different?” Path asked. This dream wasn’t a memory, it felt real, my memories always felt like I was feeling through a glove, this one... it all seemed so real. I couldn’t help it, I started crying as I thought more of it. “Do you want me to hug you?” Path asked, I don’t answer, I just hug him.
It felt more relaxing in his arms, it felt warm and safe. This is the first time that I’m actually letting him get close to me. He’s never once did something that I wasn’t okay with. So it wasn’t Path in my dream. So who was it?
“It’s okay, I’m here now, you’re okay, love. You’re okay,” Path continued saying those words, and I actually start to believe him. After a while, I’m starting to calm down, “what was it about? Were you hurt?” Path tried again to get me to talk. I only nod. “Was it one of us?” I nod again, “It wasn’t like the beatings?” I shook my head. It took Path a few moments to figure out what it could have been.
“Love, you know we would never hurt you like that,” Path held me closer. When the door opened again I flinched and tried to hide. “It’s B... It’s only Chic, Buddy.” Path said and tried to shift me back to my spot. “He had a nightmare that one of us hurt him, Chic,” Path explained. I was actually kind of glad that Path remembered the nickname. It made recognizing them easier.
“Tsk, is that so?” Chic’s voice was softer than usual as he took my hand and held it, sitting beside me. “Ember, do you remember who?” Chic asked as I was gently pulled to him. Chic was always warm and familiar. I seem to relax more with him and it seems Path saw it too. I shook my head no and leaned further on Chic. “Hmm, okay, let’s get you out of this basement. Seems you were cooped up here for a bit too long.” he picked me up easily and it felt like he almost threw me in the air.
“Have you eaten anything, love?” Path asked as we followed him up the stairs. I felt lulled in Chic’s arms and took a lot to shake my head no. Chic sat down on the couch with me in his lap as he continued to hold me. “How about some soup?” Path asked and I nod.
I shudder a sigh from leaning against Chic’s warm body, it felt nice having him there. Almost like home. I closed my eyes and held on to him not daring to let go.
I opened my eyes smelling something that wasn’t spicy or sweet. My stomach growled at the delicious smell. When was the last time I smelled something that wasn’t just one scent?
“Here we go,” Path said softly and Chic turned me around to sit properly. Or as properly as I could while still in Chic’s lap. The bowl of soup was placed on a small lap tray and put on my lap. This was new. This was all new. Nothing like this happened and I know it. I just know it. Path and Chic talked quietly behind me, but I didn’t hear a word they said. My focus was on the food.
Or could have been if I didn’t catch Path in the corner of my eye reaching towards the side of my neck. For some reason, I froze and a split second later I was about to throw my soup at him and make a run for it. I couldn’t because Chic had somehow noticed what I was about to do and stopped me by holding onto my wrists.
Path pulled back and took the tray, placing it on the coffee table, then taking both my hands and kneeling in front of me. Chic let go, “Love, it’s okay.” I felt Chic lean forward and hug me close to him, “you are safe. We would never think of hurting you like that,” Path said kissing both my palms. This seems to calm me, he had done it enough times for me to imprint it as feeling trust towards Path.
They also seemed a bit panicked. I must be displaying something new to them that they weren’t ready for. Could it be that my lack of speaking to them was causing them to worry? I eased into their hold again, and this time Path fed me. I was beginning to feel at rest around them again, their careful movements helped, but the familiar gestures and speech helped even more. After I finished the second bowl of soup I was feeling sleepy. Chic adjusted me so I was more comfortable as the two talked about something.
What could they be talking about? I’ll focus on their conversation, but I was starting to feel tired.
“Orsz, ele lu. Ubz wq pqqe mro szw lvo, bz’o zyzw nqaz daqxzw ubrw zyza dzpqaz. Lu ovaz bzjfze mlub btfw qulhlws bln ro mzjj, L mqweza mbru bz gqvje bryz orle uq grvoz ublo azrgulqw.” Path’s voice was heard but I couldn’t make out the words he was saying.
“Raz tqv ovaz bz grw’u bzra vo?” Chic asked something but again I don’t know what they are saying. What was happening? Are they speaking a different language? What is wrong with my focus, it’s getting more and more difficult to focus on them talking. When did that start?
“L’n ovaz, Orsz nrez ovaz qp lu ubru bz uvwzo vo qvu qpuzw mbzw mz urjx.” Path’s voice was starting to blur together, only hearing the sound of it but not registering the words he was saying.
“Mbru rdqvu ubz qubza ulnzo mbzw tqv umq mzaz rasvlws rdqvu ubz wzku fjrw lw paqwu qp bln? L’n ovaz bz bzrae lu...” Chic sounded worried, what could they be talking about? I wish I could focus more on what they were saying.
“Wqwsense, if he bre bz mqvje bryz acted when we urjxze of the jrou ylguln I brousbu. But he obqmze wq azrgulqw at all, just like Sage said, bz’jj dz lw blo qmw bzre when we urjx to each qubza. But what I’m really pissed about is that ubz slaj is still qvu ubzaz and it’s been r pzm erto, obz could bryz pqvwe bza mrt back to the glut dt now.” I’m trying to focus on what Path was saying but it just cuts in and out constantly when I try to. What was wrong with me? Maybe I really am just tired? I should just give up on trying to hear them and go to sleep?
“Grr, I xwzm something like ublo mqvje brffzw! We’re eqlws uqq much uq oqqw! Sage lo eqlws blo best keeping ubz fqjlgz qpp of us but that can only hold out for so long.” Chic was more clearer this time, he’s really mad about something. Usually, it’s Path and Lou arguing about something so hearing Chic arguing about something with Path was different. Actually, Chic never really rose his voice, the more he rose his voice the better I could hear him. I wonder what they are talking about, I’ll need to focus harder if I want to know.
“They mljj slyz vf oqqw, lu’o not like rwtqwz mro jqqxlws pqa bln to dzslw mlub. Bz bro wq palzweo from what Orsz says. Mz are ubz gjqozou to bln, he’s ourulws to get ruurgbze to vo. Did you ozz bqm uqaw vf bz was that L mro ezre? He’s azret to sq out now, if we do this quick-” Path was sounding excited, it seems that they keep their voices even as much as possible unless they show emotion in their voices then I can hear it clearly if I’m really focusing on it.
“NO!” I jolted at the sudden outburst from Chic, “wqu wqm,” he started patting my head soothingly and spoke more calmly this time, “fzqfjz mljj cvzoulqw rdqvu ubz davlozo, of how mlubearmw bz lo. ubzt’jj rox cvzoulqwo if he’s rjalsbu. We need to nrxz ovaz that bz eqzow’u jqqx dzru vf.”
“Rjalsbu, qx. Grjn eqmw, bqm eqzo wzku mzzx oqvwe? For wqm mz’jj nqwluqa him qp bqm daqxzw he is.” I could hardly focus after Chic’s outburst but I tried my best to listen, but what Chic was doing now was making me sleepy. I sighed and snuggled closer to him hoping to just sleep now... no wait. I need to hear what they are saying. Instinct was telling me to pay attention as much as possible, so this next part is important. I gently bit my lip to help me focus more on what they were saying hoping it would work.
“What rdqvu ubru eazrn bz bre? Obqvjew’u mz act on it soon?” This was difficult, the hold Chic had on me was comforting, it reminded me of my mom of how she held me after dad died.
“It’s way too soon for that, we need to ease bln lwuq lu. Oq pra bz ublwxo you and I are safe. It mqvje avlw everything if we nrxz a nqyz wqm.” I tried, I did, but I’m starting to...
“Mbru rdqvu Orsz? Mbru if we get him uq nrxz a nqyz and we gqnpqau him rpuzamraeo? Fazuzwe to xzzf Sage away rpuza lu’o dzzw eqwz?” I heard Chic’s voice it was soothing, I would like to just rest now. But something was keeping me alert, not letting me rest. Could it be that dream, if it wasn’t Chic or Path then maybe it was Lou? That was a scary thought. Where was he now? Possibly resting now. Like I should be.
“L jlxz ubru ubqvsbu, L xwzm xzzflws bln rmrt often was a sqqe lezr, just didn’t xwqm mbru lu mqvje jzre uq. This is perfect!”
“Tsk, I think he’s out now, where should we put him?”
“He seems to have grown more attached to you, so your room might be best. He’s already been there, it’s familiar.”
“We’ll talk more on it later, get Sage caught up and when he’ll do it.” Felt like I was floating now, and everything was quiet.
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