Taking strolls and our monthly doctor appointment is the only time I come out of the house. My street is silent. People are hardly around, and everyone keeps to themselves. It is a street where no one cares who lives next door. They go out to work early and come back late. I live here mainly for that reason. It is easy to be anonymous. Other times, I am inside or lounging with Sam on my front porch. I enjoy staying there because of the fresh air, and I get to read a lot while she plays with her toys. 

I returned home from our evening stroll to find six missed calls and a message from Sam. 6 calls sound stalkerish. But I do not mind the attention, as long as it is not borderline. 

Sam the catfish: Hey, hypocrite. I called to see if I can drop by, but it seems you are busy. Anyway, I told you I am eager to meet you and Sam. You seem like a pleasant person, so let us meet at 4 pm tomorrow. Call me when you have the time. Tanks.

I called him back, but he did not pick up. I bathed Sam and fed her. Not long after, she slept, and I had time to take my bath and eat. I was about to sleep when I heard the familiar text message beep on my phone. I knew it was him, so I eagerly checked it out.

Sam the catfish: Sorry, I was busy when you called. What are you doing?

Me: Just in bed. You?

Sam the catfish: Lucky you. I still got a lot to do here. I wanted to see you today, Debs.

Me: It is too early to meet.

Sam the catfish: Come on, give me the chance to meet you. You will not regret it. I am sure we would be grand friends.

Me: I am up for it only if you tell me who you are.

Sam the catfish: OK, I accept. I am a catfish. I used the profile photo because I have image issues, and I will reveal everything to you tomorrow if you let me.

Me: See? Was that so hard? Thank you for admitting the truth. I’ll keep to my words. Let’s meet at 4 pm. I will text you an address by 3. I guess I am frying a fish for dinner tomorrow then. Get ready to be my feast.

Sam the catfish: Oh, I will. Thanks for the opportunity. Kiss Sam goodnight for me 

Me: Goodnight.

The realization of what I just agreed to dawn on me after I dropped my phone, and I gave good thought to what I am doing, but the curiosity within me is like a compulsive drug. There is nothing I can do to stop myself from sniffing it.

Carefully getting into bed, I gave good thought to what I am doing. I tried to talk myself out of it, but to no avail. I am curious about the type of person who will appear before me tomorrow. I am curious about what he looks like and his behaviour. I can not sleep because of nervousness. I can not trust how the person will react to me and how dangerous it will be. I picked up my phone and called my dad. It was late to call him, but I needed to hear from him.

“Debby? What is wrong? What are you doing up?”

“Nothing is wrong, Pops. I just wanted to hear your voice and find out if everyone is alright back home.”

“We are doing fine. Are you sure you are fine? My scheduled visit is next week, but I can move it forward if anything is wrong.”

“We are fine, pops. I will see you next week. I have heard your voice so I can go to sleep now. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

My nerves calmed down a little after talking to my dad. Even though I said nothing about my latest adventure to him, the sound of his familiar voice did the trick, and I can go to sleep holding my baby in my arms and dreaming of a better tomorrow where I get to meet whoever is my catfish friend. It is the start of something new. And I am super excited. Nervous but excited.

My thundering snore echoed around me as the sweet melody of “Pink’s Try” harshly pulled me from my first peaceful sleep in years. Stretching my hand, I picked up the phone from the side table and answered without opening my eyes. 

“Who is this?”

“Um... it’s Sam... Samuel. Good morning to you too.”

Nigga, what? Sam the catfish? The nerve on this guy. Who wakes another human being up this early? Sa fucking muel. That is who.

How dare he wake me up from such a peaceful sleep before 6 am? What could be so important that he can’t wait for dawn?

 The fuck does he want so early in the morning?

“What are you? The Grinch that stole Christmas? I see you hate sleeping people, huh? Waking me up this early. What do you want that can’t possibly wait?”

“Wow, chill the fuck up, grumpy grouch. Remind me to never call you before 10 am. Because someone hates morning calls.”

“Boy… what do you want? My snore is hanging in the air and I need to get back to it so quick with it. I ain’t got all morning before Sam wakes up and takes over my day. You better have a damn good reason for this sleep ending abomination act.”

“Alright. I am deeply sorry for the rude awakening. I can imagine how hard it is taking care of her and getting a good sleep must be a battle.”

Gosh. His voice makes it impossible for me to remain angry at him. Hell, I can’t help the smile that is slowly creeping up on my face. 

I forced one eye open to check the time and discover it is a few minutes past 8 am. I can’t remember when last I slept this long into the morning. Even my baby is up and did not wake me. She is just playing with her toys and having conversations with whatever she was talking to. I usually wake up at midnight to feed her and remain awake until the early hours of the morning when I kick start momaging duties like doing chores, singing for her, changing diapers, and feeding her all day like her damn servant. Well, she is my princess, and I am happy to serve with bags under my eyes.

“I’m sorry. I think I overslept. By the way, what tidings do you bring on this joyful morning?”

“Well, I just wanted to ask if we could see earlier than scheduled, let us say around... 2 pm? It is Friday, so I am leaving work early.”

What is the deal with this guy? Why is he in so much haste? Are catfishes not supposed to be making excuses as not to meet?

“Look who the eager one is now.”

That was my weak attempt at humour, but my voice came out squeaky.

“Patience is not one of my impeccably strong suits, so what do you say? Please, let’s make it work.”

And just like that, my nerves gyrated. Yes, I want to meet him, but I thought I had more time to prepare myself mentally. It may seem like I am being overly dramatic, but remember, it has been a long time that I have had to meet anyone new. It is just like when you are getting ready for an audition. You want them to have a good first impression of you. You want the person to like you. Especially when you want that person to be your friend, and I am desperate for a friend.

“I know I am pressing the hot button here, but I am eager to meet you. It may sound stupid or weird to you, but I could not sleep all night. I keep thinking about you. I see your picture, but it is not satisfying because I cannot feel your electric personality through a mere photograph. Debby, my mind is a roller coaster ride of you… and it is even more exciting that your daughter bears my name. I am dying to meet you two because… it… It feels like fate… does it not? I don’t think I can function properly with this level of curiosity eating me up.”

“Um… This is overwhelming, so I do not know what to say.”

“Listen, normally, I would feel creepy about attempting anything close to this. But… it rather feels right. I would say let’s meet earlier but I have to attend a meeting at work so let’s make it 2 pm and I promise to stop rambling on and on about how sweet your voice is and how adorable your laugh is; did I forget to mention how nostalgic your giggles are?”

“All right… all right, Mr. charming. 2 pm it is. Let’s get this over with. Simmer down, buddy. I think that scream of joy is a little over the top. Simmer down. See you soon.”

Crazy. I know. But if he is this eager to meet me, then I will take it as a good thing.

I dropped my phone and looked in the mirror to see if my eye bags are still acting out, but those bags are gone with the wind, and my face was as fresh as a baby’s bottom.

“Good morning princess, how was your night? Was it as good as mommy’s?”

I kissed her hair, and she slapped my face.

“Well, that is just rude. A simple no would have sufficed.”

I think she knows I am being a little naughty with my latest adventure, but that was no excuse for her prissy attitude.

“Sammie, you need to give mommy a break. She is only human, and you, my friend, are not living up to your responsibilities. You were supposed to wake mommy up. Too bad the catfish beat you to being an alarm clock.”

“Ababababa ssuh baba bad adada.”

“Stop raising your voice at me, Lil girl. I brought you into this world, and I will take you out.”

“Adabsuh data ta uoh Ada dad a.”

“You are clearly in a mood this morning.”

She laughed, and I pinched my nose because of the nuclear smell oozing from her corner.

“Oh, no Sammie… did you just… God, what did you eat? Your shit smells like rotten eggs. Time for a bath.”