I approached Martin as he was writing fiction in his Pacific Island mansion. I found it interesting that Martin always was a writer in all his iterations. Was I also the same in every fictional world?
I stopped reflecting on this when Martin turned around and aimed a pistol at me. I studied Martin. In this world, he looked older, angrier and he wore a strange-looking alien monocle. Oh well, with a bit of luck, the nutty, violent version of Martin wouldn’t kill me.
“Hi, Martin. It has been a while.” I said.
“Who are you, and why are you intruding in my mansion?” Martin exclaimed.
“It’s me, Geoffrey. We referee soccer together.” I replied.
“I don’t referee soccer. I travel the world, collect alien artefacts, and kill people.” Martin replied.
‘Ah, so there are differences between the fictional worlds. Perhaps I was more successful with the ladies in this world. After all, the stunning Natalie had known my name at the casino.’
“Why are you here, stranger?” Martin growled and aimed his pistol at me.
“I have a message from Empress Rangda Kaliankan. We should take acid together, and she’ll reveal your next mission so you can stop the gamma-ray blast from destroying Earth in the year 2131.” I claimed.
As Martin nodded, I took a deep breath of relief. Who could have known that reading Martin’s books would be crucial to completing my mission?
“Well, if you say so. I have never been a stranger to acid trips.” Martin said and smiled.
I checked the inner pocket of my suit, and to my great relief, there was still a vial of the Rastafari Referee’s Special concoction.
“Wow. My monocle says that you brought some very high-grade LSD. Where did you find that?” Martin asked.
“I have my sources. Shall we get going?” I urged, knowing that Martin in my world would wake up from his acid trip soon.
“Sure,” Martin said, skolled the vial of LSD, and passed out.
So, what would I do now? I had never planned for Martin to take all the acid.
“Hold his head. I’ll connect you to his mind from here.” Jasmine shouted across the dimensional barrier. Said and done. There was a bright light, and I was teleported again.
*Swoosh*
***
As I opened my eyes, I was in Martin’s apartment in Kensington. His laptop was lying on the couch and it had a document with an array of new titles. I read through the list. ‘The Alien Date, The Conspiracy Date, The Yeti Date, The Shaman Date, The Ladyboy Date.’ I knew that I had to act. If I did nothing, my life would consist of an endless cycle of absurd dates and scenarios. I needed to convince Martin to let me be happy.
Martin gasped in shock when he saw me and exclaimed. “Geoffrey, what are you doing here? You look different.”
I looked at Martin. He also looked different. Specifically, he looked a lot fatter in this world than he did in my world. I guess it made sense for him to give himself a more idealised look in his fictional worlds. I brushed it off. Martin’s weight wasn’t my problem. My dating mishaps were.
“I have come to ask you to stop creating my dating mishaps. I want to stop going on terrible dates. I want to live a happy life with Jasmine Xi. Why won’t you let us?”
“What are you talking about, Geoffrey. I have very little, if any, impact on your dating life.” Martin replied.
“You are the God of my universe. You are the one putting me through all the things that happen. Can’t you let Jasmine and I be happy together?” I pleaded.
“Wait, are you Geoffrey Tang from ‘The Dating Mishaps of the Luckless Lawyer’ series?” Martin asked in bewilderment.
“Yes, I am,” I replied.
“Wow, this is so cool. How did this happen?” Martin asked.
“It happened through a convoluted plot that was a mixture of the Matrix and Inception,” I replied. “Wow, I got to write that story straight away.” Martin enthused.
“Can you please give me a happy ending?” I begged.
“I can’t promise that. Putting you through absurd dating mishaps provides me with entertainment. But I can promise you a happy ending for now.” Martin replied
“Okay. So, in this ending can Jasmine and I end up together. Also, if it’s not too much to ask, can you remove the part of me getting scurvy from my Covid vaccine unless I eat a lot of oranges. I hate oranges and it is not even a realistic side effect.” I replied
“Sure, I’ll change it. Good luck, Geoffrey.” Martin said, snapped his fingers, and I teleported back to my world.
***
As I opened my eyes, I woke up in a beautiful room. Jasmine Xi smiled at me with her white teeth and spoke, “Good morning, Geoffrey. I am so glad that you fulfilled your mission. Martin even changed the plot, so you made good investments instead of bad investments. That’s why we are living in this beautiful house overlooking the ocean in Coogee.”
I got up from my bed, stretched my arms, and I watched the morning sun glitter in the ocean. This was life. I couldn’t have imagined that Martin would give me such a great life, it was not at all in line with his personality.
A foul stench ruined my blissful mood. Had a sewage pipe burst in my lovely mansion? I turned around and I saw Jasmine Xi holding a can of the infamous Swedish dish, Surströmming. I looked at her in bewilderment and spoke, “Why did you open a can of rotten fish?”
“Well, as it turns out, you asked for too much when you wanted to get rid of your Covid vaccine side effect. In this new reality, you must eat fermented herring to keep healthy.” Jasmine revealed.
I sighed and held my nose as I forced myself to eat a piece of the rotten fish. Martin was a rascal but at least he allowed me to live with the woman of my dreams in his updated fictional universe.
In his quest to find love, Geoffrey stumbles upon a ladyboy, a psycho, a Japanese robot, and an interdimensional alien. Will he succeed in finding happiness?
The successful lawyer Geoffrey has a problem. No matter what he does, his dating activities don't find him love, and instead he is put through a series of absurd dating scenarios. Will Geoffrey manage to confront the author and end up with the beautiful Jasmine Xi?
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