We sat and started eating our breakfast together. “Leanne, do you prefer here or Bulgaria?” I asked suddenly.

“I dunno,” she said mid chew. She finished her bite as she thought about it. “I think it’s fine here. It’s not perfect, but what country is? What? You want to go back home?”

“Not really. I have friends here,” I said, thinking of Natalia and Zayne. “And I’m in my last year of school, so it wouldn’t make sense to leave here. But thinking about it, I have more freedom here than in Bulgaria. Mom taught me at home, and I couldn’t go anywhere without a chaperone. I hardly had any friends.”

“Because Diana and Gabriel were overprotective. If they didn’t let you fly a little here, then you wouldn’t speak English so well and you would feel like there is a wall between you and everyone else.”

“Like I did back home. I felt so isolated from everyone and everything.” I took a sip of my coffee. “I don’t understand why we had to move to begin with,” I mumbled over the rim of my mug.

“Would you have preferred to move to Colombia?”

My pout broke into a grin. “Yes, because at least then I’d see where Dad grew up. America just seems so far for no real reason. At least no reason they told me.”

“What happened, happened. When you’re done with school and you want to delve into modeling more, you can take more travel jobs and I’ll accompany you wherever you want. We are here now though, and you seem happy enough. Or is there something you want to tell me?”

I shook my head as I finished my food. “Nothing to tell regarding that. Oh, did Louis tell you that I’m working on Tuesday?”

“No, he did not tell me that. But I’m not surprised. I may be the one paying him, but you are his boss. And you’re an adult. He doesn’t have to go through me for anything but his paycheck.”

I frowned. “I could-”

“If you’re going to offer to pay him, then the answer is no. Well, I can’t exactly tell you what to do with your own money, because you are an adult,” she pointed out. “But I’m not fine with handing the reins over to you until you’ve graduated. For now, I’d prefer if you focus on school and being a teenager.”

I pressed my lips together and didn’t bother arguing. I didn’t feel like an adult even though I was eighteen. I did make my own money and didn’t rely on Leanne for anything, but I still felt like a baby. I was yet to learn how to file taxes, apply for a lease, or how credit worked. If I was to start paying Louis, I wouldn’t know how to do so.

“Fine. I wouldn’t know how to do that anyways,” I admitted.

“Want to spend the day with me?”

“I thought you’d be busy with your guy.”

“You come first. We could go to the spa or go to a yoga class. Oh! Remember that one-day class you took on sketching basics?”

I nodded slowly, taking another sip of my coffee.

“I was looking into those and found a few on pottery, basket weaving, jewelry making…”

With the way she was looking at me, I could tell she was most excited for the classes, so I nodded. I liked the one-day sketching class I did. While I was horrible at anything artistic, it took my stick figures up a notch and my doodles now looked like what they were supposed to be of. I wanted to be excited, but I guessed it would take more than just the mention of it going out to pull me out of my funk.

After breakfast, we hunched over my laptop to find the perfect class to attend. Most of them were ones that required prior reservation, but we found a few Downtown that we could walk into. We decided on candle making, and dance. Once we signed up online, we went our separate ways to get dressed.

The dance class was after the candle making class, so I decided on something athleisure. I pulled a cropped tank top over my head, shimmied my way into a pair of track pants, and just in case the weather changed, I pulled a denim jacket from my closet. After pulling on a comfortable pair of sneakers and putting my necessities into a small backpack, I scooped my hair up in a decent updo and went back down to meet with Leanne.

I hadn’t known it then, but I’d needed the day out. Out of either fear or lack of motivation, I hadn’t gone out in months. Even when Natalia tried inviting me out to parties, chill days out, or even to the movies, I always come up with a reason not to go or a reason to cancel. Most of those reasons were excuses and lies, but I never had the right words to express how rotten I’d been feeling.

The candle making class was interesting. It was surprisingly easier than I thought it was going to be and I got to pick the color and scent of my wax. It was calming and got my mind off the turmoil usually going on inside my head. I was forced to slow down and focus on something else, like not burning myself with melted, hot wax.

In the end, I produced a beautiful candle that smelled like eucalyptus and sage. I was a gentle, refreshing scent. The instructor mentioned that the two scents could help with my sleep, and I couldn’t have been more pleased with my choice because I knew for a fact that I could use the help.

Leanne and I left the class happily with our candles nestled in a paper bag. We hadn’t spoken much during the class, but it was nice being with her. Leanne was like an older sister I never had and despite our nearly ten-year age difference, she never treated me like a child. She always spoke to me like she would one of her friends and I liked that. It gave me the feeling that we were really sisters.

The dance class was a bit embarrassing during the first half. Being a cheerleader meant I was used to being flexible and precise. My timing was impressive but in my class, I had trouble with fluidity. Compared to the dance class, cheer routines were rigidly coordinated. I got better in the second half of the class and I could feel the difference in the way I moved.

The dancing was another thing that took my mind off the nightmares. Even though when I walked into the studio the wall of mirrors made me nervous, I quickly forgot about them once I realized I was going to be the laughingstock of the entire class if I didn’t concentrate more on not falling on my ass.

“How do you feel?”

We had just finished with the cool down stretches when Leanne came over to me. The class was finished and while some of the attendees went to get their things immediately, a few stayed behind to chat. “Like you should be the one to take my spot on the cheerleading team. I didn’t know you could move like that.”

Leanne tried to hide her smile. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m serious,” I insisted. I’d been watching her out of the corner of my eye and only got some of the moves right from copying her. The ease in which she moved stunned me. “Where did you learn to dance like that?”

“Diana and I took classes when we were younger,” she said after a moment’s hesitation. She looked at me like she was waiting for a reaction.

“I’m not going to burst into tears if you mention them, you know,” I told her. “You don’t need to walk on eggshells around me. I’m not going to break.”

“I just want to make sure,” she said. “You and Cris seem fine but he’s still not talking, and you’ve only recently decided to go back to work. Even Diego…”

My fingers curled into fists at the mention of him. “I don’t want to talk about him right now.”

Leanne bit her lip as if to stop herself from saying anything more. “Then let’s get something to eat. Breakfast was light and I’m kind of craving kavarma, but since we can’t have that I’ll settle for a burrito bowl.” She threw her arm around my shoulders and steered me over to the cubbies that we had kept our belongings in throughout the class. “Your treat.”

I agreed, collecting my things and exiting the studio with her. Even though she mentioned having a burrito bowl, we both decided to leave that for dinner when we entered the first café and she saw that fish and chips were on the menu. She was in the mood for seafood more. I didn’t have much of an appetite, but I ordered a chicken and red plum salad anyway.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Leanne asked.

I thought it was random considering we had just finished a conversation about how the salad I was having was ten times better than any I could throw together on my own. I knew I could tell her anything and everything. But the only think I was holding back on was what had happened in the bathroom at school. I didn’t need to worry her. It was just the stress. Once I got myself together, the hallucinations would stop.

“Of course,” I told her.