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Sweet! Sweat! Swoop!

E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/1): Don't forget to turn off the kettle!

E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/1): Don't forget to turn off the kettle!

Nov 19, 2021

Accompanied by gurgling and bubbling, the kettle reached its boiling point.

“Sananda Tamahara, Sananda Tamahara, Sananda Tamahara, …”

The water reared up foaming and, fighting the immersion heater, threw itself against the wall of the plastic container as if kissed by a storm. But no one responded.

“Sananda Tamahara, Sananda Tamahara, …”

Someone cleared his throat. “Reiner.”

The last breath of the water was released as hot steam.

”Sananda Tamahara, Sananda Tamahara, …”

Someone made a stilted cough. “Reiner!”

The water continued to bubble happily.

“Reiner!”

Finally the red-haired esoteric awoke from his trance and took a deep breath to ground himself. His eyes roamed the room, still slightly dazed.

His counterpart, a chubby dark-haired boy who wore a self-knitted sweater made of sheep wool, furrowed his brow and looked at him reproachfully.

“Don’t say anything!” Reiner, whose full name was Reiner Redd and went to class 11 B - the same as the aggravated Salter Brookhouse - raised his hand. Confidently and with full conviction, he pointed at the bubbling kettle as if he was trying to operate it with telepathic powers. “Om…”

Just at that moment, it shut off automatically, ending the tea water’s boiling death struggle.

The other boy pressed his lips together and hissed slightly. “How many times have I told you to turn off the kettle by hand once the water reaches boiling temperature?” He raised his index finger in a lecturing manner. “Do you know how much energy is wasted by letting the water bubble away for an unnecessarily long time? And just think …”
“… about all the microplastic particles that are released by an unnecessarily long boiling process, passing into the water, and then leading to late health effects such as infertility and cancer. I know, Cordelius, I know.” While Reiner finished the sentence by psychic abilities - or just because he had heard Cordelius’ lecture far too often - he retrieved a teapot from the hanging cabinet of the small kitchenette in the main room of their research club. He opened a tin of tea leaves that smelled of peppermint and dried Bach flowers. Devoutly, he murmured, “In the name of the three powers of heaven, water and earth,” then added three teaspoons of the herbal blend to the teapot and poured hot water over it.

Cordelius, who was reading a magazine about the harmful effects of factory farming on the world’s climate, took a sharp breath again. “We have only one planet, and we must protect it as best we can.” His full name, Cordelius Greene, fit like a glove.

Reiner took two teacups from the shelf and placed them on a tray along with the teapot. “That’s right! In the fight against destructive reptiloids, everyone who is a positive starseed must let his light shine in the deepest corners of the astral world.” He paused and listened into the silence. “But our Nanda’s light is slightly dimmed right now. I have difficulty perceiving his aura.”

“Nanda?” Cordelius propped his head on his hands. “He’s eating cake at the Spa Club right now. But before he left, he had put the packet in the sugar bowl for you.”

Reiner checked the contents of the porcelain pot, nodded and then placed it onto the tray as well. “As predicted.” He smiled mischievously and opened the door to his meditation room. “In this case the next lost soul can come to me.”

After he was gone, a cloud of dragon’s blood and other incense still lingered in the air.

Cordelius wished to turn the page, but his gaze fell again on the kettle, restless. Only after he had stood up and unplugged it was he able to continue reading his magazine with ease. “For Mother Earth.”

***
If there was one thing that Nanda Buru loved more than colorful fizzy and smelly liquids passing their way through a tangle of tubes and flasks to finally condense into miraculous things like soap and cleaning agents, almost like alchemy, it was cocoa. Hot steaming cocoa and a sweet marshmallow bathing in it with a slice of cream pie on a Friday afternoon made him feel a little closer to nirvana. John of the Spa Club had outdone himself again. When he served him such delicacies, Nanda, a budding top chemist of Indian origin and a student of Class 11 A, could oversee his unhygienic habit of always wearing adilettes and showing off his tanned toes to the whole world.

“Anyway, I was considering that the heroes of my new book might be on the trail of a great world conspiracy.” While John was cutting and distributing the freshly decorated strawberry cream pie, Tauno had been telling Nanda about his latest story for a solid ten minutes now. His eyes flashed with delight as he began to gesture wildly. “Just think about it, maybe the world is really flat after all, and all the world governments are trying to hide the truth from the people!” He opened his tattered notebook, whose black leather cover had bumped corners, and scribbled a few quick lines. His writing was so illegible that it would have taken several years of studying ancient manuscripts to decipher the text.

Nanda nodded silently and took a sip of hot cocoa. “Is this Swiss chocolate?”

John sat down with them and nodded proudly. “Genuine Swiss chocolate.”

Tauno continued. “In my story, the North Pole is actually a deep hole and the South Pole is an impassable ring of ice guarded by the military.” He stuffed three bites at once into his mouth and twirled his pie fork, brooding. “Now I’m sfaatin to belieff iff, foo. Great!”

The basic idea of the story reminded Nanda of the strange remarks about alien reptilian beings that, according to Reiner, lived inside the hollow Earth. But this thought immediately disappeared when he tasted the cake.
“Do you like it?” John clenched his hands and watched him tensely. Nanda, the chemist, was his harshest critic. If he found fault within the composition of his cake, then, then, …

“Delicious. A successful blend of the various components,” Nanda judged without expression.
John breathed a sigh of relief.

“By the way, congratulations,” he said dryly. He put his hands on John’s and Tauno’s shoulders, as if they were best companions.

John and Tauno exchanged a perplexed look.

Nanda raised an eyebrow. “Well, your new watches. Partner look. How lovely that you’re engaged now …”

“Engaged?” Tauno dropped his pen, shocked. His thoughts began to take the wildest leaps. Restlessly, he looked from John’s wrist to his and back again. Yes, it was true. Since their magical transformation, they both wore a watch with an hourglass embedded in it. John’s watch was yellow and contained a similarly coloured liquid; his own was black with an inky liquid. And because people often tended to see a pattern in all things, Nanda apparently came to the conclusion he and John were more than just roommates and sauna friends. He and John …
Before his mind’s eye, Tauno could suddenly see it. The vision struck him like lightning.
He heard the church bells ringing. He and John stepped hand in hand in front of the altar. The faceless priest raised his voice. “And now I ask you, Tauno Tallinen, as I stand before you as Father Peter Placeholder, do you take John Doe to be your lawful wedded husband, to love and honor him until death do you part?”
Did he want to? Or not? After all, John took care of everything. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, the holy trinity of housework. He was well-built too, and he always listened to him. Always. Well, sometimes, when he had a nightmare, he was a bit clingy and snuggled up to him at night, making Tauno feel like he was in a headlock and his sleep was being stolen from him, but most of the time they always had a good time together. It was out of question that he had hit it out of the park with John. In his mind and in reality, he looked at him and literally sank into his earthy green eyes.

“Another piece of pie?” John pointed to his empty plate.

Yes, he was going to sweat in the sauna with him forever, until they both were old and wrinkled, unable to climb the higher benches anymore.

“Y… Yes, I… I do!” Tauno stammered breathlessly.

“Hey, before you go for seconds, I want a piece of that cake too!” Ivan came galloping into the church on a snow-white horse and shattered Tauno’s daydream by slamming his hand on the table. He was also wearing a new, snow-white wristwatch.

“Oh, that’s the way it is?” Nanda stirred his cocoa. The marshmallow began to dissolve, pulling long strings on the spoon. “A threesome?”

Tauno gasped for breath.

But John shook his head and tried to explain it in a logical way. “It’s a gift from our new exchange student from Japan. Yeah, that’s right! Those fitness watches are all the rage over there.”
Ivan agreed with him and crossed his arms. “No homo, bro.”

“His name is Taro and he just went shopping for some clothes with Anders,” Tauno added hastily, after regaining his composure. “I’m sure he’ll be here next week, too. Then we could all have a coffee date together!”

Nanda furrowed his brow, but said nothing. Very suspicious. He continued sipping his cocoa silently. His mind went completely blank. Nirvana came closer.
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anneatsusa
Anne Atsusa

Creator

This story is a collaboration of "CRUSH3D!!" mangaka Yaa and "ASS! of BIKE" light nover writer Anne Atsusa.
The ebook is now available on Amazon and other ebook stores:
amzn.to/3sCr7V9

Anne: Nanda? Nanda? Nani? Nani? Nandesuka?

#comedy #magical_boy #sauna #magical_boys #europe #esoteric #environmental_protection #rgb #no_homo_bro #boys_love

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Five Magical Boys fight for you in the name of love and ... relaxation?!

Taro Yamada loves superheroes. After literally losing his shit during the entry exams for high school, he enrolls at the Northern European Saint Claus Academy to finally gain some courage like his beloved Magical Girls.

But the famous スーパー部 (Super Club) turns out to be a wrong translation of スパ部 (Spa Club), a club made of four rich guys loving to have a good sweaty sauna time.

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37 episodes

  • E 174 - Silver (1/1): Precious privy
    Episode 1 E 174 - Silver (1/1): Precious privy
  • E 174 - Silver (1/2): Peter Placeholder
    Episode 2 E 174 - Silver (1/2): Peter Placeholder
  • E 174 - Silver (1/3): Holleri di dudl jö
    Episode 3 E 174 - Silver (1/3): Holleri di dudl jö
  • E 174 - Silver (1/4): Magical Purikura
    Episode 4 E 174 - Silver (1/4): Magical Purikura
  • E 174 - Silver (1/5): Rainbow Relax Revolution
    Episode 5 E 174 - Silver (1/5): Rainbow Relax Revolution
  • E 174 - Silver (1/6): Welcome to the Spa Club!
    Episode 6 E 174 - Silver (1/6): Welcome to the Spa Club!
  • E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/1): Don't forget to turn off the kettle!
    Episode 7 E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/1): Don't forget to turn off the kettle!
  • E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/2) - Anders' worries
    Episode 8 E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/2) - Anders' worries
  • E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/3) - The principal's two golden eggs
    Episode 9 E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/3) - The principal's two golden eggs
  • E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/4) - A certain gut feeling
    Episode 10 E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/4) - A certain gut feeling
  • E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/5)  - Technical issues
    Episode 11 E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/5) - Technical issues
  •  E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/6) - A perfect transformation
    Episode 12 E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/6) - A perfect transformation
  •  E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/7) - One of those trees
    Episode 13 E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/7) - One of those trees
  •  E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/8) - WALTRAUD!!
    Episode 14 E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/8) - WALTRAUD!!
  • E 127 - Erythrosine (3/1) - Norton Kaspersky's deepest fears
    Episode 15 E 127 - Erythrosine (3/1) - Norton Kaspersky's deepest fears
  • E 127 - Erythrosine (3/2) - About elephants
    Episode 16 E 127 - Erythrosine (3/2) - About elephants
  • E 127 - Erythrosine (3/3) - The Hanged Man
    Episode 17 E 127 - Erythrosine (3/3) - The Hanged Man
  • E 127 - Erythrosine (3/4) - Small and efficient!
    Episode 18 E 127 - Erythrosine (3/4) - Small and efficient!
  • E 127 - Erythrosine (3/5) - NekoPa... aah, InuRaku!
    Episode 19 E 127 - Erythrosine (3/5) - NekoPa... aah, InuRaku!
  • E 127 - Erythrosine (3/6) - Never forget the goods separator
    Episode 20 E 127 - Erythrosine (3/6) - Never forget the goods separator
Ep. 7 E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/1): Don't forget to turn off the kettle!

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E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/1): Don't forget to turn off the kettle!

E 171 - Titane dioxide (2/1): Don't forget to turn off the kettle!

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