*Back at the Do Jo*
Practice finally ended and I was breathing hard from the beating I had just spent the last two hours getting from sensei. Bowing I headed back to the locker rooms. As I worked to unlock my locker, I heard the tiny metallic ping that told me I had a new message. Pulling out my phone, I found a message from Amy saying
[I'm not sure he'll be himself the next few days but I think he's still got some things to figure out. Give him a little space but don't avoid him. Can you also try for no PDA with Jonathan in front of him please?] I sent her back a message saying,
[Oh, so I see he told you. How much did he share with you just out of curiosity?]
[He told me everything that has happened since the beginning of the semester that involves you including why you quit the swim team. Please don't be mad at him for telling me. I'm here if you ever want to talk, you know you're like a brother to me] she replied. Sighing, I wrote back
[I'm not. I figured he would eventually because that's not something he could come to terms with on his own. Hell, even I couldn't have survived with the feelings of shame and guilt I went through even though I did nothing wrong. And yeah I know, you're like a sister to me too which is why I feel bad putting you in the middle of all of this]
[It's okay. I'm glad to help. I just hope I can do enough to keep you guys together. Just give him some time to come to terms with it all okay. He's asleep now but I'm really worried this time. I'll keep an eye on him this weekend, he probably won't leave the house even to go to practices. Next week we'll have to both keep an eye on him without smothering him though, okay?] she replied.
[Yeah, I'll leave him alone tomorrow and then message him on Sunday. Then we can work together to keep an eye on him next week sis] I replied placing my phone back in my locker, I reached into my gym bag and pulled out a fluffy white towel, a matching wash cloth, a toiletry bag, and a clean set of underwear and a t-shirt then headed to the showers. Since these showers were stalls that were two stalls deep with locking doors, I didn't have vivid flash backs as I entered and locked the stall. Laying my clean clothes on the short wooden bench that lined one side of the first section of the stall, I stripped and entered the second section closing the curtain behind me. I quickly showered in scalding hot water to help with the soreness from the workout, then dried myself and dressed in my underwear and t-shirt before gathering up my stuff and heading back to my locker. I packed all my dirty clothes into my gym bag before pulling my jeans out of my locker and put them on then separated my dark red hoodie from my leather jacket. I had just finished putting on my socks and then lacing up my combat boots when the sensei came around the corner. “Hey Cam,” he said “good work today. Do you know if Hayden will be back in the next few days?”
“No sensei, I honestly don't. I'll try and get a hold of him tomorrow before practice and find out though” I answered looking up to see sensei leaning against the locker on the end watching me.
“Okay, just let me know tomorrow,” he said and turned to go to his office. Standing up, I pocketed my phone then shrugged on my hoodie pulling up the hood before slipping my leather jacket on too then grabbed my backpack and gym bag. Closing and locking my locker, I left the locker room making my way out of the Do Jo as I put my Bluetooth headphones in my ears and searched songs to listen to on the way home. Remembering that Jonathan wanted me to text him when I was leaving, I decided to call and talk to him on the walk back. Pushing send, it rang for a few heart beats and then Jonathan's giggling voice came on the line, “hey you,” he giggled into the phone. I did a double take at the phone to be sure I called the right person.
“Did I catch you in the middle of something?” I asked smiling at how happy he sounded.
“Oh no, my sister was just telling us about something that happened at school today. Elementary kids are so odd” he giggled some more.
“Oh okay. I figured since I had a fifteen minute walk home, we could talk on the way” I said with a smile.
“That sounds good. Just let me go into my room. Okay, I'm all yours now” Jonathan said.
“Hmm that was fast,” I replied.
“Yeah, my room is the closest to the front rooms and since our house is one story it made it easy” he explained.
“That makes sense,” I said still smiling. Then as I passed the alley we'd kissed in earlier the memory came flooding back and I said, “I'm glad I surprised you earlier with that kiss.”
“It was very surprising but incredibly enjoyable” he said giggling again.
“I wanna see you smile and hear you laugh,” I said still smiling as I walked down the well lit street passed the tattoo shop and pancake place I had gone to earlier in the week with Hayden making my thoughts turn to him.
“Maybe we can go on a date tomorrow,” Jonathan asked, “unless you have plans with Hayden.”
“A date sounds good,” I said and then added, “nah, I haven't talked to him. His twin sister, Amy, said I should give him some space so he can work through everything.”
“Ah, she's probably right. I'm sure he knows you wanna talk to him but that you also want to give him time to get through everything on his own” he said.
“Yeah, it's not like I could avoid him even if I wanted to since we're neighbors and our rooms overlook one another. Though, he'll probably have his curtains closed tonight when I get home. Amy said he's asleep now anyway” I told him.
“Hmm. We'll just have to give him some space and let him come to us when he's ready.” he said in a sympathetic tone.
“Yeah, Amy said the same thing. I really wanna know what had him so messed up that he had to leave school and skip practice though. I feel like he's avoiding me after having found out about everything” I said wanting to cry as I entered the park that separated the main shopping district from residential area I called home.
“I know but I'm sure that's not true. I don't think he is the type of person to avoid someone just because he found out something horrible happened to them or because of their sexual preferences. He seems like too good a guy for that” Jonathan observed.
“He really is one of the best people I've ever met and I really hope you're right,” I said as my voice cracked and tears started falling down my face.
“I'm almost home now. I'll call you back after I've successfully avoided my parents. We can discuss our date tomorrow then, okay?” I said as I neared the exit of the park that would put me almost directly in front of my house.
“Okay, and try not to be too upset. I'm sure it was a lot for him to process and seeing us didn't help much. I'll talk to you in a bit” Jonathan said and hung up. I pushed the end button on my phone and looked up to see Amy standing by the pillar that separated the gates to our front gates. Walking towards her, I said “what are you doing out here so late?”
“Waiting for you. I know Hayden would want to know you made it home safe too even if he isn't the one to see it for himself. Besides I thought you might need a hug” she said walking towards me with arms out stretched. Scooping her up in a fierce hug, my voice cracked as I said “yeah, I really could.” Holding me tight, she let me cry knowing that this was hurting me just as much as it was Hayden.
“I can let you in to see him if you want but you'll have to be quiet because he's still asleep. It's weird, he hasn't cried himself to sleep since we were seven but he did tonight. I can't tell you exactly what upset him but I can promise you it wasn't anything you did directly that caused him so much anguish” she said still hugging me.
“I'd like to see him just for a minute,” I said. Pulling back to look at Amy, I asked “how are you sure it wasn't anything I did?”
“Because I'm the one that figured out what was bugging him so much after he told me everything. He just needs some time” she said as we turned to enter the gate to her house closing the gate behind us as we entered. We made our way to the front door and went inside. As we made our way to the stairs, I started to wonder what could possibly have Hayden so messed up if not what he'd seen today. We crested the top of the stairs and stopped outside Haydens’ door.
“Remember to be quiet,” Amy whispered placing her index finger in front of her lips.
“Okay,” I whispered back as she opened the door. Entering the room and crossing to the bed, I took a seat on the edge careful not to touch Hayden as he lay there sleeping. As I watched, a tear slid down Haydens’ cheek making me wonder what he was seeing. Then without warning, Hayden grabbed my wrist in an iron grip. Shocked I waited for Hayden to open his eyes but he only relaxed his grip as more tears flowed down his cheek. Deciding that my face wouldn't be the one Hayden wanted to see should he wake up suddenly, I moved off the bed. Without a word, I left the room and headed for the front door as tears of my own started to fall.
Amy followed Cam as far as Haydens’ bedroom door and watched him leave. As Cam shut the door, she moved back inside Haydens’ room closing the door behind her. Amy walked back over to the bed and curled up next to her brother just in case he needed her again during the night.
Meanwhile, back outside in the crisp night air I stood in the middle of the Andrews' front walkway staring up at the dark night sky as tears poured from my eyes. Remembering my promise to Jonathan, I left their front yard closing the gate behind me. I quickly turned and entered the gate to my own front yard. Not worrying so much about my gate, I quickly entered my house and took the stairs two at a time heading for my room. As soon as I reached my room, I made his way inside and closed the door behind me. Dropping my gym bag on the floor by my laundry hamper, I shrugged off my backpack placing it on my desk chair. Then shrugging off my leather jacket, I moved over to my window, pulling back the curtains back, and opening it slightly. Sitting on the window sill, I pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket where I had stashed it earlier when I'd seen Amy waiting for me, I dialed Jonathan's cellphone again. “Hey, how'd avoiding your parents go?” Jonathan asked as he picked up the phone.
“Fine. That was the easy part, Amy was waiting for me when I got to the mouth of the park. She told me Hayden actually cried himself to sleep but that she was sure it wasn't because of something I had done. Then she let me in to see him even though he was still sleeping. While I watched, he cried in his sleep too which I have never seen him do. He also grabbed my arm so tight I thought he'd break it but he let go just as quickly. It was so strange” I told him, my voice cracking as more tears began to fall.
“Cam, it'll be okay” he said trying to comfort me as best he could. Deciding a change in topic might help, he said “So, what do you wanna do tomorrow on our date?”
Sniffling I said, “ hmm... maybe we can do a movie and some shopping then dinner and a walk before I have to head to Ike-do.”
“What time should our date begin then so we have enough time for all that before you go to practice?” Jonathan asked.
“Let's meet you around 1 pm on the shopping district side of the park” I answered.
“Okay then what genre of movie should we see? Action/adventure, romantic comedy, horror?” he asked excitedly.
“Hmm lets watch a romantic comedy so I can kiss you in the dark theater,” I said trying to be romantic.
“Yes, please!” he squealed excitedly making me smile.
“You know, it will be the first time I've ever done that with anyone” I said thoughtfully.
“Really?” he asked actually surprised.
“Yeah, I've never seriously dated someone before. All those girls, there were only three or four, I 'went out with' I met at parties and had one night stands with. This will actually be my first real date ever too” I admitted not the least bit embarrassed about it.
“Huh, well I'm glad I'm the first person you'll get to experience a real date with” he said. As I stood their talking to Jonathan on the phone, I watched as Hayden bolted up in bed and covered his face with both hands. Seconds later, I saw Amy sit up and wrap her arms around him trying to comfort him. Feeling sad and hurt seeing him in so much pain, I got off the window sill and went to sit on my bed. Removing my boots, I sat on the bed with my back to the wall with my knees bent up in front of me.
“Me too” I said and then continued, “thanks for making me smile, Jon.”
“Wow! That's the first time you've called me anything other than my full name” he said shocked.
“Well, I figured since we're dating now, I should give you a nickname. Actually it should be a pet name but I'll come up with one later when I can think of one that suits you” I said with a small giggle.
“Oh, is that so...” he said sounding thoughtful, “I guess I'll have to come up with one for you too.”
“Well, we should probably go get some sleep so tomorrow will come quicker,” I said looking at the clock on my desk across the room which read 10:30 pm in bright red neon lights.
“Yeah, I hope you have good dreams and try not to think about what happened today too much. See you tomorrow at one o'clock in front of the park on the shopping district side. Goodnight” he said.
“See you tomorrow, goodnight” I said and pushed the end button on my phone. Dropping it on the bed between my ankles, I put my head in my hands and cried some more feeling like my whole world was crumbling down around me.
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