-What the… just happened?- I asked out loud hopping there would be no answer back. ‘ Amazing… now I am Hopping to be ignored by my imaginary-imaginary friend’ – Who he think he is? And he called Dad “old bastard”! – I am so angry and frustrated and…and…- Shower! I need a shower.-  I ignored the broken backdoor, I can’t fix it now, and even if I had any close idea where the tools were I wouldn’t fix it. The dinner table would be very useful as a door lock.

Exhausted, lazily I go through my luggage to retrieve some basic toiletries, a towel and a change of clothes. I decided to try the social bathroom. ‘ I am not going up there again tonight.’ The place brought back undesired memories, it tiles were worn-out by the time and dust, but it still managed to smell like Her. ’Disgusting’

 The water came out surprisingly clear. Using some bleach that I found under the sink, I managed to clean a little the shower, the toilet and the sink.

-That is not ideal… But is all we got tonight.

Vhid’s voice was looping inside my head, how could one be so…so… Impossible! I was brainstorming a ton of possible answers I didn’t thought at our conversation. ‘ You are a little too late to come back to work brain. The moment is gone….’  Closing my eyes had proving a impossible task. Every time I tried to not think about my rude neighbor, I saw him….. Grinning or side smiling. “ See you tomorrow.” He said again and again inside my head.

I was miles away to be innocent. Sex is an amazing sport and I was a very skilled player Thank you, but this Man… Oh boy, he is messing with places in my fucked up mind that i didn’t knew existed. ‘When was the last time I felt this way?’ I tried to remember. ‘ Oooh yeah…’ –Jax…- I could never forget, a lady never tell, but I am no lady and Jax sure as hell had a huge influence on it.

The thing is I’ve grown up with a retired Airman. Surrounded by all sort of veterans. I always was pretty sure that he really wanted a boy but when he received a cute little girl, he has chosen to raise me as something in the middle of a soldier and a spoiled princess.

 My Ol’man was a 6 feet tall kickass special operation’s pilot, and at his house he would not tolerate any kind of bullshit. 

“ Nothing is worth more than your word Kiddo. Talk to me. I may not know about all, but I am dam sure that together we’ll find the best solution.” So we trusted each-other. Dad was my best friend, and I kept no secrets from him, and when I got home crying my soul out cause an excuse of a “boyfriend” was trying to push me to “do it”, he decided that we need to have The Talk.  I can remember his face, trying his best to explain to me, he could not even start talking about it; An hour later, with his forty beer in hand,  sweating like a dying pig and redder than my hair, he just called his “friend” Leona. And she managed to explain to me what the school don’t teach us, the poetry and magic behind the sex, the complications and all the simplicity about it, she managed to clarify Why the first time was so important. If it is not with the right one, at right time, it could become something twisted, wrong, and superficial.
“ Don’t rush it Mila. And don’t suppress it either. Confusing I know, but when the moment arrive, you’ll know. Trust me. You will be sure and it’ll make sense.”  BEST ADVICE EVER.

 A few months later a new family moved to the house next door, and i meet Jax. We fit together like pieces of a small kids puzzle; it felt like we had been BFF’s all of our lives.

One rainy day we were playing some game at his house, talking, joking like always but that day I felt different, he looked different. I always saw him as a handsome man. But I’ve never invested on flirting with him cause he was away out of my league. Like I wasn’t good enough to be with him. I still remembered felling ‘hot’ out of the blue, and walking to his kitchen to grab some water. The second I’ve turned around to go back to the living room, I went face first into his chest. My back was against the counter and his arms were caging me. Those sinful honey eyes piercing thought my soul.
“ What are you doing?” I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

“ I am going to…” His voice was shaking like he was trying his best to keep it controlled, his face came closer and his breath was mint with a hint of coffee ”… kiss you Camilla. Right here, right now.”

“O-okay.” My entire core was burning in a unknown need, and my body was shaking anxious for the kiss, for him…for us.
 At first it was unsure, and shy but then that simple kiss was enough to destroy any shadow of insecurity that I might have had in my life. I was Sure…that, right there was my moment, and my best friend was my first. The storm outside was the song playing for the two of us, while we made love for the first and last time. I was eager for knowledge and Jax was a very experienced and pretty naughty “teacher”. 

My father loved him since day one ” See kiddo, that is not a useless pussy”, dad would comment every now and then when Jax was talking about his job. When we announced to our families that we were dating, everyone approved. Even with the age gape (He was almost five years older than me). We dated for two amazing years, but he had to move out cause Work and I was starting college. We broke up in good terms, and our friendship never changed after it. It has been 2 years since I last saw him. And When dad died he video called me. He was a helpless mess, they really loved each other but he was overseas, middle of a undercover investigation or some shit like that and could not attend his “forever father in law” funeral. My dad hated to be called father in law “ Makes me feel older than I really am!” and jax would answer getting ready to run for the hills “ But if you were my father I’d be in jail for bedding my sister!” That was theirs  most personal joke.

  “ I wish you were my Dad, but I am grateful that you aren’t.” Jax voice was clear in my head.  .

I was laying on the old couch, smiling to my favorite picture of us, that day Dad invited us to take the old Calisto for her last fly. We’re happy that day. The cockpit was small for the tree of us, but we managed. Just like we managed everything else in life.

-I really miss you both.- for the first time in my 23 years I felt truly lonely. Happy memories of simple meaningless moments I’ve spend with my Ol’man danced in turns trough out my head. We watching TV, and he complaining about the absurd amount of “Useless Pussies” staring some random trash slash movie, Poker night with his old crew. Him and Leona happily dancing to a music that was playing only in Dad’s mind in the kitchen with floor scattered all around. – Yeah, we were happy.-

Turning the wheels in my brain I still tried to understand why everything went down so fast. The Hunter I know would never ask something that he did not intended to return. Why for all seven hells that fucker had to borrow that obscene amount from the bank?  Without insurance to play as the cherry on top. He was a motherfucker elite soldier, he knew better than that. He taught me better than that. I don’t hate him at all, but I blame him for making this huge mistake. He should know better than to trust banks.