“Shannon, I am so sorry,” I apologize, bowing my head to her as low as I can. In doing so, the shoulder bag that I have slip through my shoulder and to my arms and for all of the contents to fall to the ground.

Shannon turns to me with wide eyes—or rather—her eyes are cast onto all of the things that are now scattered to the floor. She laughs as I finally snap back to reality and kneel down to start picking up my things, shuffling them back in my bag in total embarrassment with countless people walking down the streets that are starting to turn their eyes on me. She kneels in front of me and helps me out. “Why are you apologizing?” she inquires in between chuckles, handing me my wallet and notebook for note-taking and all others. “It’s as if I will turn down an offer that renders my best friend to downgrade herself just because of paranoia. You know that I will always stick with you as strong as your clumsiness.”

“I am absolutely sorry,” I repeat, my voice turning small and low. I am defeated, to be honest. In comparison to a nerd and unlucky girl as me, for Shannon to stand next to me in all perfection and grace, is somehow a mock to myself how I can be someone like her. I am not just apologizing to her just because of the incident in the library, but as well as for thinking right now how jealous I am of her and hating myself that the only reason she sticks with me is for her to appear as a goddess next to a slave like me. “For having the need to always look after me.”

“Nonsense with that.” She smooths down her skirts and offered her hands for me to take. “Come on. When I first transferred to school, you’re the first one who didn’t bother to help me out with adjusting in the strangeness of Edinburgh to that of Dublin. Not to mention that you didn’t try at first to stick with me compared to those who are such huge gossipers. You keep my secrets and listens to me even if I start talking nonstop. You’re a very dear friend of mine, Eira. You’re practically my best friend. That’s why, if someone kicks my best friend out, I’ll go along.”

When I do take her hands, she immediately hoists me up to my feet rather rashly. It is a good thing that, this time, I manage to keep my balance than to fall face first back to the ground. I arrange my glasses, smiling softly at her kindness that I only start to feel so guilty about thinking negative vibes about her. Perhaps it is my lack of confidence on my own that I can have such a great friend next to me as her.

She sighs as she surrounds her arm around mine. “Spending the rest of the day in the Library with you waiting outside for me or restrained in some chair in order not to cause any damage while I get to read all those books isn’t as interesting as it will be, you know? I can’t even think that that librarian will blame the fault in you. If that book is very rare compared to the rest, better keep it then and just wait for someone to request for it.”

“I just…” I press a closed fist against my temple, trying to remember what exactly happened at that moment that I seem to blackout. “I just can’t actually remember what happened back then. The next time that I gain sense of the world is when you are calling out for me, and the librarian is already there right next to us.”

“Well, you looked around for a second and you were practically just looking intently onto the texts the next. Then, you’re muttering something underneath your breath that I can’t understand at all. The next thing that I also knew was that you lose hold of the book and you’re falling back to the ground.” She sighs again, keeping me close to her. “You’ll be surprised that I even didn’t realize the librarian being there right away. I didn’t even remember him being close by to catch that book on time. But that book is totally a weird one, isn’t it? I am taking in that it newly received its new bounded cover, but for no title and author to be written or engraved… that’s a completely odd one.”

“Yes,” I reply. Even the accounts of what happened that Shannon had mentioned doesn’t seem to click something back in my head to be right. It seems to me that the few seconds that I didn’t quite remember doesn’t make sense at all. But if there’s one subject wherein her story and my experience meet… it is that I’ve looked around.

I can’t tell Shannon that since the time that we’ve been in the Main Reading Room of the British Library and then at that time at the Reading Room of Rare Books, I can feel that someone is watching me. And the latest addition had been that someone just murmurs something to me at the end.

“I’ve finally found you,” the haunting voice whispers at my ear, enough to make me shiver at just the memory of it alone.

“Before we head on back to the hotel,” Shannon tells me. “I guess we better stop at the Sherlock Holmes Museum first. We can check on Madame Tussauds’ wax museum tomorrow instead. What do you think of it?”

I press my lips together and nod. “Yes. Right.”

“If I keep you like this, it will avoid you from falling head firsts, right?” she inquires as we continue on our walk from the British Library’s perimeter and onward to King’s Cross Station with her arm still looped with mine.

I didn’t tell her that I’ve been feeling edgy even at this time. Instead, I try to secretly look through my peripherals for another time to make assumption of that same feeling of being watched again. And I am not wrong not to do so, because someone is indeed watching me primarily.

The same old librarian from earlier does. Through a window of the library itself.

I am not able to fall asleep quite well last night. I want to tell Shannon that I am not in the mood at all to continue with our plans for today of visiting Madame Tussauds in fear that a nagging headache due to my lack of sleep will disrupt a supposed-to-be adventurous trail to one of the world’s greatest wax figure collection and important and popular people in history.

But I know that if I do that, Shannon will ask me why and then I’ll be forced to tell her about me dreading the feeling of being stalked, and about how that old librarian from the British Library yesterday seems to put me on edge. To top it all, my idea of wax figures starts to give me that idea that I’ll much freak out of being conscious of myself and my paranoia.

Though this is her second visit and I am going to be another disappointment for her with this trip if I do that, I force myself then to continue with our plans.

After preparing for the day and having breakfast, I am surprise to find out that it will not just be the two of us. There will be others with us, who’ve heard of our plans for today and decided to come along. Though I don’t have any negative vibes with those who decide to join us, I am actually not good in keeping long conversations with our other classmates because of how a freak I am.

“You’ll do fine,” Shannon assures me as she keeps her arm loop around mine. A test theory of hers that had worked well yesterday that kept me from tripping over my own feet. Currently, we’re just trailing behind our classmates, having to deal with the map to where it is since Madame Tussauds is actually just a walk away from where we are staying. She continues on, “There’s nothing to worry. You don’t actually need to start a conversation with them. If there will be one, let me handle it.”

I smile bitterly at her. “I don’t think that I can thank you enough for ensuring that I’ll never find myself in absolute trouble.”

She giggles. “I know that you’re actually weak with starting a conversation. And the reason that we get along too well is I can puzzle out everything you want to say even though you’re having the trouble to say them.”

“Thanks,” I mumble.

The two of us continue following our four other classmates onward to where Madame Tussauds is. And though I try to calm my nerves, I didn’t freeze or stop that will surely draw Shannon to worry about me again and earn the disappointment of those others who’ve sought to come along with us.

At this time, I didn’t look through my peripherals, because even before we cross the street, I find a hooded figure from the farthest end who watches me quietly. At the same time that as Shannon drags me along with her, I watch him in return, foolishly thinking that it will ease my heart.

It didn’t.