The day passed slowly with Jay barely leaving Anwyll’s bedside. A nurse came by his room to check on him and to let him know the doctor would come by closer to evening to see when he can be released.

Blood loss, according to the nurse, was not just something that would go away with few stitches.

When Anwyll had calmed down after his and Jay’s initial conversation, Jay had taken out her laptop to catch up on her university studies. Anwyll had napped and only woken up some hours later when the curtains had been pulled over the window and Jay had been lowering a tray of food on his bedside.

“It’s just hospital food, sorry,” Jay grinned at him apologetically. “But they gave me a cookie since I am a regular by now. You can have it.” For once, Anwyll didn’t really mind the quality of the food. The mashed potatoes and salad looked and tasted just as good as any gourmet meal he had ever eaten. Despite Jay’s words, he split the chocolate chip cookie in half and savored it more slowly with the tea Jay had brought him.

“A regular?" he asked between bites, before getting distracted by the clock on the wall over the door Jay had left ajar. It was a bit past five in the evening. But which evening? He opened his mouth to voice the question, but closed it when he noticed a shadow approaching his bed from the opposing side. Instinctively, he turned around to greet Koresh, before a heavy feeling wrapped around his chest and made his breath hitch. 

He did not want to see Koresh right now.

In that regard, it was fortunate the ghost standing by his bedside was not Koresh. Anwyll quickly averted his eyes, trying to pretend he had not seen her, hoping it would be enough to disencourage the figure from pestering him.

“You okay?” Jay asked him and Anwyll flashed a smile at her.

“Yeah, just zoned off for a bit. Did you say something?” he asked, trying to recover from missing more than one beat of the conversation. Jay hesitated briefly, before smiling at Anwyll and shaking her head.

“Nothing relevant. Cadell called while I was getting your food, he should be here soon,” she explained quickly. Quickly enough that Anwyll wondered if she was trying to distract him, but decided against chasing the topic. They would come back to it later, if it was important. “He came in last evening when you were brought here and stayed most of the night. I’m not sure if he slept before he had to go to work.” Jay shook her head with a worried, but warm smile and Anwyll couldn’t help but sigh, even when the words filled him with warmth.

“He’s a dumbass,” he stated. It was just his luck that it was in that moment that the door to the room was pushed open, causing Jay to burst into light laughter when she saw who stepped in. Anwyll had always liked the sound of her laughter. The high pitched, carefree sound made his own lips twitch, until he had to bite back his own laughter.

“Speak of the devil,” Jay noted once her laughter calmed down and Cadell raised his eyebrows at her, before his eyes landed on Anwyll sitting up on the bed.

Similar murky green eyes stared back at Anwyll as Anwyll’s own. Cadell’s face was more square than Anwyll’s, taking more after their dad than Anwyll. Where Anwyll had inherited the soft shape of his eyes and melancholic set of eyebrows and tilt of lips from their mother, Cadell had the stern set of his jaw and sharp nose of their dad. Meanwhile, his raven hair was definitely something from their mother, unlike the reddish, auburn hair Anwyll and their dad had.

Neither of them had been spared the freckles.

A wide smile cracked the stern expression on his face as he took in Anwyll’s state and all but marched over to him. Anwyll could have sworn he felt the tremors of his footsteps in his bones. He felt like a hollow boned bird when Cadell wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. Despite the tightness of the embrace, Anwyll could tell Cadell was being careful, as if Anwyll was a fragile bird to him as well. Regardless, the gesture was comforting and Anwyll didn’t hesitate long to wrap his arms around Cadell’s shoulders.

The scent of pine trees washed over him, with undertone of dogfood. The latter was a more recent addition, but the former was familiar from the fabric softener they had used ever since Anwyll could remember. The scent and the gesture were almost overwhelming with nostalgy and suddenly Anwyll had to swallow around a lump in his throat as his vision got blurry.

Cadell had not hugged him since Anwyll had been thirteen when their dad had pulled Anwyll from school to be homeschooled. He swallowed his tears when he felt Cadell shifting and pulling back, resting his hands on Anwyll’s shoulders instead.

“You look like a train ran over you,” he observed bluntly and loudly enough Anwyll was sure the whole hallway echoed with his words.

“Thanks,” he responded, his voice cracking. He could hear Jay drawing a sharp breath, as if holding back laughter. Cadell grinned as well and Anwyll groaned when he ruffled his hair. For a brief, warm moment, Anwyll could almost imagine being back at home, waking up in the morning to Cadell pulling his sheet off to make sure they wouldn’t be late for school and work, respectively.

Then Cadell’s expression sobered and the moment passed.

“Months, Anwyll,” he stated, “we haven’t heard from you in almost two years after you just walked out and disappeared. What the hell?” Anwyll averted his eyes, fingers twitching as he moved to tug on his sleeves, before realizing he was wearing only the t-shirt provided by the hospital. A knot formed in his chest and he turned his hands so his wrists didn’t show to Cadell, even when he could do little to hide the bandages.

"I already did the interrogation," Jay chimed in lightly. Empathy spilled from her words and made Cadell fall still and draw a deep breath. Anwyll held his own breath until he felt Cadell ruffle his hair.

"Missed you, Wimp," he said gruffly and cleared his throat, "I am glad you are alright. Don't run off again, yeah? Or at least leave a note." Anwyll flinched at the words and saw Jay hiding a grimace at the words. They both pretended not to have heard Cadell's voice breaking.

"Did you bring the cards?" Jay asked after a beat. Cadell nodded and pulled out a pack of playing cards from his pocket.

"Winner gets to choose what’s for lunch tomorrow," Cadell's tone turned to a more lighthearted and playful one, the type Anwyll had grown used to hearing from him. The older brother voice, Jay called it. The one that promised that everything would be okay, that he’d take care of it.

I missed you too, Anwyll said in his head, but please don't tell dad. He bit his lip and split the deck when Cadell offered it to him.

And when Cadell finally left and Jay packed her laptop and papers and Anwyll was left alone in the room, he repeated the words in his head.

Cadell and his dad and the mantras and lies he repeated to himself each night that had never done anything for him. The only thing that would have driven away the figure that was now desperately trying to cling to the blankets, was Koresh.

Hiding from the ghosts under his blankets, Anwyll didn’t know if it was better or worse that Koresh wasn't there now. He resented Koresh for not giving him the chance to choose.

He wasn’t sure how late it was and how long he had remained curled up under the blankets. Half asleep, the sounds of the hospital and the wailing of the ghosts mingled together, until it all fell silent. His bed dipped slightly as if someone had sat down, but he was too exhausted to open his eyes, much less to push aside the blankets.

So he let himself be lulled to sleep by the blissful silence and familiar presence beside him, gentle hand caressing over the blankets covering him.