January 14, Monday
The light had returned the next day, the snow had stopped falling, and the plow had come through punctually and efficiently, allowing life to begin again as if nothing had happened.
Harriswood was extremely organized for a simple isolated and forgotten town. Perhaps it was organized for this very reason, because there were no conspiracies, corruption and so on.
Politics aside, Harriswood was back up and running without any problems, and no exams had been postponed.
Nor the first theoretical lesson of driving, which Mirren had been forced to take for that stupid resolution.
He was going to give up his lunch break once a week, but he would get used to it.
After the boring and in his opinion useless class, he went out, checking his watch, and rejoiced at the realization that he still had ten minutes before he had to go back to work.
Maybe he could get a sandwich, or a prepackaged meal somewhere. He was keen not to skip meals, it wasn't healthy.
“Mirr” a well-known voice made him lift his head, and he didn't hold back a smile when his eyes rested on the figure to which it belonged.
He hurried to hide it, and approached Felix keeping a detached look.
“Felix, what are you doing here?” he asked, surprised.
“I make sure you don't skip class... or meals” he handed him a lunch bag, the same as the ones they used as children.
“My mom’s offering. A complete meal for rich people with a balanced diet” he explained.
Mirren opened it and noticed a plate of pasta and meat with vegetables on the side. It looked simple, but Mirren knew it was extremely tasty and complex.
The smile returned to his lips, and this time he couldn't hide it.
“So you'll eat something else?” he teased his friend, who crossed his arms, pretending to be offended.
“Who do you take me for? Of course I will eat something else. I snubbed my mother's starred cuisine for a high-calorie and expensive hamburger at McDonald’s” he joked, pulling out another lunch bag containing the same menu as his friend and pointing to a nearby wall.
Mirren sat down next to him.
“Thank you, Felix. It was a nice surprise” he admitted, without looking at him, and starting to eat the pasta. It was extremely good, as always.
Felix did the same.
“We haven't seen each other since that night at your house… I missed you” Felix admitted, in a low voice, without looking at him.
Mirren's heart started pounding.
He knew the matter would come up again sooner or later, but part of him hoped they would have never brought it up again.
After all, there was nothing strange about sleeping in each other's arms for warmth, talking about it would only make it more embarrassing. And it didn't have to be.
Unfortunately… it was indeed.
“You weren't avoiding me, were you?” Felix asked, stopping eating and turning to Mirren, with a serious expression.
The sincere answer? Yes, he was probably avoiding him. He just needed some time to forget and ignore the extremely pleasant feeling he had had in waking up close to Felix. He, who hated any sort of prolonged physical contact.
“No” was instead the answer he gave, in an almost offended tone, perhaps a little too acute to be entirely credible “I just had too much work. You know, between the blizzard and my father extending the trip. By the way, he’ll come back tomorrow, and he told me to ask your parents if they're free this Saturday for dinner at our house” Mirren desperately tried to change the subject, and Felix accepted his proposal, smiling and nodding vigorously.
“It will please them a lot. My father told me just yesterday that he has a card game pending with your father” he told him, with a smile, starting to eat again.
Mirren did the same, and the subject went elsewhere.
They talked about Felix's thesis for about a minute before the boy abruptly changed the subject.
Then they moved on to the gallery's newly organized art show, Tender, Mirren's work (it was then his turn to change the subject) and finally they just started enjoying each other's company, without the need for words, and without the silence becoming embarrassing.
When Felix finished eating, he took out a pack of cigarettes, and took one, stepping slightly away from Mirren.
This made Mirren remember something.
“By the way…!” he exclaimed, setting aside for a moment the last vegetables to eat and fumbling in his briefcase.
“I know, I know... my resolution. I haven't forgotten it, but…” Felix started to defend himself, but Mirren wasn't scolding him, even if he really wanted to.
“I created a schedule for you” he interrupted him, pulling out a paper divided into months, days and hours.
Felix caught it with his mouth open, too surprised to pay attention to the unlit cigarette in his fingers.
“Where did you find the time?” he asked, incredulous.
“Do not look at me like that! You know I love making schedules and plans for everything. I worked on it to relax over breakfast a few days ago” he explained, starting to indicate the various phases for quitting smoking a little at a time and concluding by the end of the year.
“You know that now I feel obliged to follow it, since you used your free time to do it” Felix seemed almost annoyed, but Mirren knew it was all a fake.
“I hope so. You have to stop. And if making you feel guilty will help you do that, be prepared for psychological bullying” Mirren teased.
“Seriously…” Felix looked at him with a warm and almost moved smile “…Thanks Mirr. It means a lot to me to know that you're so worried about my well-being” he admitted, putting his hand on his arm, and squeezing it lightly to make him understand how much he appreciated the gesture.
Felix was the only one who made Mirren feel like taking his hand and squeezing it in his own. The only person whose touch seemed to relax him, soothe him and make him feel normal.
Maybe because he knew his boundaries, and he knew him better than anyone else. Or maybe just because he was Felix.
“Don't lose it” he only said, without avoiding the contact but not reciprocating in any way. He didn't have the courage.
“I won't, I promise. In fact, you know what? I’ll put the cigarette back in my pocket!” Felix took the pack back and did as promised, earning a round of applause from Mirren, who suddenly remembered that he must have been at work at least fifteen minutes ago.
He snorted.
“Unfortunately, duty calls. Definitely see you on Saturday” Mirren got up, put his leftover lunch in his bag, and waved at Felix.
“I hope even sooner” Felix did the same, with a broad smile, which Mirren returned.
“I hope so too. Good afternoon”
“Don’t work too hard”
And after the pleasantries, Mirren turned his back on his friend and started walking quickly toward the building a few meters away.
When he disappeared from sight, Felix's smile faded.
He looked down at the schedule, and started studying it.
He was limited to three cigarettes a day for the time being, but the recommended number was two.
He had taken one before going there, but at the moment he felt the need to smoke another.
He tried to hold back, and decided to take out his frustration in a much more constructive way.
He took the notebook he always carried with him and began to make some sketches of his surroundings.
But his mind always returned to the day of the blackout.
When he had joked as always, desperate not to get too nervous at the prospect of sleeping in the same bed as Mirren, and his friend had amazed him by agreeing to a request Felix had always thought impossible.
He had embraced him. Sure, not tightly, but they'd been close enough to warm each other up, and for the first time Felix had gone beyond the boundaries he'd been forced to follow with Mirren for years.
He looked at the drawing he had just unconsciously made. A classic full-body Mirren, dressed in that day's clothing.
He began to color the only places he could touch, as if to give himself a stern warning never to go any further.
Shoulders, arms up to the elbow, back up to the ribcage area and legs from the knees down. The rest was strictly prohibited.
After all, Mirren himself had gone out of those boundaries and hadn't spoken to him for almost a week. Whatever Mirren said about it, Felix knew he had been avoiding him, and he didn't think he could repeat the experience out of a selfish and childish desire.
He erased the drawing he had just made, and pocketed his notebook again.
He got up from the low wall, intending to go home and work on his thesis a bit, and picked up the phone.
It was Amabelle who had encouraged him to surprise his friend, so it was his duty to inform her of how it had gone. He knew that the girl's intentions were far from innocent, but he didn't particularly worry about it.
Not even a miracle would have succeeded in uniting Mirren and Felix, the young man had already resigned himself a long time ago.
Comments (0)
See all