Waking up after what seems to be a few hours, based on the sun still being out, I realize there’s a gentleman next to me. The same one I had argued with earlier.

I struggle to break through the staleness of my throat to ask them who they are, but they speak first. 

“Hey. Bit of a fall you had earlier.”

“Yeah.” I say, my voice cold and coming out more like a croak from not really speaking to anyone all day, let alone little these past weeks.

“What happened?”

“I appreciate you watching over me, but I’m ok.” I say flatly. He did something extremely commendable by watching over me to make sure nothing happened to me. Sleeping in a shelter, even during the day, can be extremely dangerous when you’re alone.  

“Well, I’ll leave you to your moping. Rest, at least.” He says, as he gets up to leave.

“Ha, thanks.” I respond, intending for my words to come out biting, but instead sounding hurt. Reflecting on his words I ask myself: do I really seem like this depressed, useless mess to everyone around me? …Not that I really care what anyone here thinks about me, I’m not involved with any of them. -After a moment of him looking at me, and me averting my eyes, he sighs a deep, sad sigh, gets up and walks out onto the street. Thank you, I say to myself internally, too abashed to tell him straight. He seems to have been looking out for me over the past few weeks.

I mean, I feel bad for not returning the favors, but I don’t feel like I have the mental capacity to take other people into consideration right now. Life is hell, if I have to deal with that, how am I supposed to deal with other people? That’s not fair. 

At the very least, I take him at his word. My eyes feel as though they are strained with their blood vessels pounding with an intense pressure. I shut my eyes in hopes it will ease the discomfort but it doesn’t subside. I keep my eyes closed with subtle hope and end up passing off to the realm of isolated unconscious. 

NEXT EPISODE

Waking up again, I have the same feeling as if I am just out of touch with some other reality that only my unconscious is privy to. I decide quietly to myself not to mourn the loss of another world I will never remember, instead turning my attention lazily to the bustling room around me. It’s about lunch time, I assume, and everyone seems to be lined up for food. 

It would probably be a good idea to find a better place to sleep instead of one large room where everyone stays…

I get up myself, stepping off into one of the bathrooms and get dressed into slightly less dirty clothes. To wash clothes around here, you would have to visit a laundromat, which sounds normal, however, water is much more expensive as of late… 

I walk out and line up for food wordlessly, trying to drown out the incessant noise of people talking and begging around me but my ears pick up a commotion at the counter. 

“You won’t give an old man like me more than one scoop of your slop?? Look at me! I’m skin and bones!” 

“I apologize sir but it’s 1 serving per person” The lunch man says in response, seemingly as if he has had to deal with this many times in the past.

“Same old damn response.” He says clearly, then more mumbled, “What’s it to do to feed an old man?” as he walks away begrudgingly, continuing to mumble slurs under his breath.

“Hey.” Someone says from behind his spot in line, having just received their portion. “You can have mine.”

“...” The man takes the bowl wordlessly. 

“Don’t worry, I can get food somewhere else.”

The old man, bewildered, walks away now more carefully with 2 servings of lunch in his hands.

It was the same man from yesterday that had helped me.

This guy is ridiculous, what is he, some kind of one man charity? Even the workers here don’t care that much and it’s literally their job.

“Hey, are you alright?” The man asks someone.

“Hey, you look unsteady.” He says again.

Who the hell is he talking to?

Suddenly, visions coarse through my skull, as if bouncing inside it’s surfaces, a spine wrenching pain returning to my eyes as I realize he must have been talking to me, but in pain dismiss my attention from the thought immediately. Like a TV flickering between channels, visions take over my consciousness. I see an arm reaching out to the blue sky above me, as if it were mine, its hand gently extended to the clouds. Rays of sun shine down on its skin, the feeling of a loving embrace taking hold. I realize, in the peripherals of the vision, that this is the same place as the last one, but before I glean any other details reality comes back to me. I feel an arm reach out and grab my own but not before my head smacks against the ground, turning everything black.