Kasumi: This show is quite the ride!

Aquila: It really does take an insane premise and just lean into it.

K: And it does it with some incredible action scenes, and some pretty good character work, too.  That first scene in the dorm room where you see Miho wake up is just a masterful piece of visual storytelling.  It says so much with almost no dialogue.

A: And it’s a textbook example of deep-seated corruption!

K: Exactly, and...wait, what?

A: Seriously, the systemic corruption in that world is just breathtaking.

K: I’m not following you...at all.

A: Think about, Kasumi – you have schoolgirls driving tanks and fighting battles with live ammunition in public spaces.  Buildings are being destroyed!  Roads are being torn up by tank treads!  Anywhere tankery goes, there’s mass devastation!

K: I’m pretty sure that’s a conceit to ratchet up the spectacle.  I mean, it’s not like anybody ever gets hurt in these tank battles.

A: You need to think about this logically – all those things that get destroyed have to be rebuilt.  Consider what this means for the construction industry!  They’re never going to be out of work.

K: I’m not sure they’d be out of work anyway.  Infrastructure always needs maintenance.

A: Not like this, or on this scale.  Follow the money, Kasumi!  All of that construction has to be paid for.  Construction workers don’t work for free.  So who pays for all those buildings and streets to be repaired and rebuilt?

K: Well, it would be insurance, I imagine.

A: It would have to be, wouldn’t it?  It’s not like anybody who owns those buildings could afford to repeatedly rebuild them.  But no insurance company can afford repeated tankery battles – insurance companies depend on the things they insure not being destroyed by live ammunition.  So where do the insurance companies get the money to pay the construction companies?

K: Um...

A: It’s kickbacks, Kasumi!  The construction company kicks just enough of the money back to keep the insurance companies from going out of business.

K: Right, that just doesn’t work.  There’s no way an insurance company would agree to a scheme like that, and even if they did, it wouldn’t be sustainable.  The time would come when the money runs out.

A: Ah, but you’re forgetting the military-industrial complex!  Who makes all of the tanks?

K: Factories, I imagine.

A: Yes, and those factories make tanks!  They’ll be tied to the military.  And think about the schools for a moment.

K: What, you mean those giant school ships that look like aircraft carriers?

A: Precisely!  They’re giant aircraft carriers!  The military has the education ministry under its thumb to such an extent that they can’t build a new school without also building an entire aircraft carrier to put it on!  That’s a lot of government money, and when you’ve got that much money at your disposal, sending a bunch of kickbacks to keep the poor insurance companies open is a breeze.

K: That still doesn’t explain why any insurance company in its right mind would ever agree to this scheme.

A: Well, that’s simple – they don’t have tanks.  In any business negotiation when one side has tanks and the other doesn’t, the side with the tanks wins.

K: Right...

A: The corruption is breathtaking!  The military industrial complex gets control of the education ministry, and forces them to build aircraft carriers, buy tanks, and have tank battles.   The construction industry joins in because it’s a guaranteed cash cow.  And the poor insurance companies are forced at the end of a tank barrel to pay for it all, with just enough kickbacks to keep them in business!

K: Okay then...on that note, let’s wrap up.  Who’s your candidate for best girl?

A: Team Hippo.

K: What, you mean all four of the History Club team?

A: Who’s talking about the crew?  I’m talking about the tank!  It takes that lack of a rotating turret and makes it work!

K: And to sum up, we liked Girls und Panzer, and apparently the insurance companies need to get tanks for leverage in negotiations...

A: It really is just the logical thing for them to do.