“Hello?”

“FUCK YOU!” I jerk my head up and start running. Since I was in the e.r. the main doors were just ahead. I run until I run into a security guard, and he grabs me firmly and takes me back to my room.

At least I tried…

Shit happens around me and I think they were trying to talk to me, but you are probably wondering about my past life.

I lived a peaceful life with a beautiful body. I was 15 years old when IT happened.

“RAE, WE NEED YOU TO COOPERATE.”

“WHAT MOTHERFUCKER!” My mom flinches when I say this.

I was 15 in my past life when IT happened. I was walking to the gas station around early at night when the sun was setting. When I saw him, the devil. He wasn’t the devil, but he sure seemed like it. He pushed me on a wall and cut my face with a pocketknife then forced my skirt off and fucked me. It was the worst day of that life. No one ever knew or saw. He forced me to his house and beat the shit out of me and raped me a lot then kicked me onto the street and left me. He was my boyfriend at the time.

After about an hour a car drove by and saw me and helped me to my home. I was so traumatized I couldn’t move or speak.

“Here put your address in here.” The man said in disbelief.

I shook every second of that ride. First day of hell lovely. This wasn’t the end of my miserable life.

“RAE!!” My mother yells.

“WHAT!?” I yelled scared out of my mind.

“WE NEED YOU TO COOPERATE! ANSWER THE QUESTION.”

“What question?” I say confused.

The nurse steps in, “Uh what were you intending on achieving jumping into the lake?”

I stare at her for a moment and think. If I answer honestly, they’ll send me to the mental hospital, what do I say?

“Don’t lie.” My mother speaks.

“I was scared and wanted to get away from my mom and go for some swimming! But I started drowning I guess.”

My mom looks at the nurse in disappointment.

Shit- I screwed up. That was so fake.

“Okay. The social worker will be in here very soon maybe don’t lie to her.” The nurse says disappointed.

I may be traumatized and mischievous but lying is one of my difficult traits. I can’t lie. I’m done saying sorry. I won’t apologize to them. I was given one more chance to prove I’m worthy for heaven, but I can’t. How can I prove I’m worthy when all my tremendous memories bottle up in my mind and spill out in sin?

“Hello, I’m the social worker here at Saint L. hospital, my name is Trinity I will be discussing with you about…”

I zone out. I looked up at the clock. 3:27 p.m. Great. Back to my story.

When I got home, no one was home, I began to walk to my room, what the fuck am I doing? I run to my room, stare at the wall for a moment, for a moment everything is still.

“SHIT!!” I punch the wall so hard it leaves a massive hole. I looked around and panicked. I started packing all my important belongings in my brown backpack with butterflies.

“RAE!”

“WHAT MOM?” I yell at her, as I am pissed off.

“We are sending you to Brenterside Behavioral Facility.”

Expressionless. I couldn’t speak.

About an hour later they took a wheelchair and wheeled me out into a hospital van and took me away.

I suddenly hear the garage door start to open in the garage room the wall to my left. I had been staring at the wall for hours.

“Lilly? Are you going to get ready for- bed?”

I screamed. I screamed so hard my vocal cords started to tear at the seams. My mom noticed my fresh cuts and the hole in the wall.

“MOM KILL ME!”

My mind races and everything stops. My mind, my mom, everything was frozen. I hear a voice in the back of my mind telling me to run, and another voice tells me,

“Lilly, Rae, you need to try to fight the trauma head on.”

I wasn’t sure who the voice was, but it echoes in my mind to this day.

“WHO’S RAE!?”

“LILLY! ARE YOU OKAY?” My mother yells like her soul is untamed.

She’s scared?! OF ME?!”

“MOM, I HATE YOU!”

No! The demons were entering me.