“I still remember the day I was born… as the breath of hell puffed smoke into my steaming eyes as I dropped from the gates of hell. Satan’s horrific eyes glaring back into mine as I fell into this disgusting body. I remember that day like it was yesterday, I could see the black hole of void that dropped me quickly gaping closed as I heard yelling and saw the brightness of a thousand shining swords piercing through the mesh of my mind. I cry out for help as I hear voices I can’t understand. Though I can’t understand them I hear a tone of disgust within their voices as if I’m so ugly I am not even worth gazing at. I remember every moment of my life from that horrid day.” I say this in desperation hoping for people to respond. I wait to begin to step back.

Nothing.

The silence starts to overwhelm me. Suddenly, laughter up-brings from the silence as my face turns into a fresh tomato.

            “HEY! EVERYONE BE RESPECTFUL! Though maybe be less hardcore next time Miss Rae.” The teacher exclaims as the class laughs usher down to the sound of a ticking clock. Tick- tock- tick- tick… Time passes for a few moments, “Thank-you… Rae you may sit down… Who’s next? Alexander It’s your tu…... go …. head.”

            I stand there hovering over my chair and desk for a moment. I want to suffocate every-single-little person in the room until they plead and cry out of me to stop… They’d pay attention THEN!

            “And…………. Gregory s…. d………………….”

            I hear them…

            But what are they saying?

            “S…………. e………………m……………………I”

            I can’t understand anymore.

            “Just…………………………………………………………Yeah.”

            My ears ring so loud I can’t hear anymore.

“Thank-you Alexander.” Everyone claps, their claps echo throughout my dark hollow mind, as Mrs. Burnham says, “Next……………mey …………uck.”

What is anyone saying anymore?

…

“You, okay?” Someone asks as my eyes struggle to open; I start to realize there are many people standing around me.

I’m on the ground?

“Huh?” I accidentally spill out.

“” Huh?”” Someone in the back mimics.

I stand up in anger as people start to head back to their seats whispering, the teacher comes over,

“Let’s take you to the nurse.”

I grab my binder and pencil and head to my locker; no fucking way am I going to the nurse. I grab my stuff and run for the doors.

“FREEDOM MOTHERFUCKERS!” I screamed as I run away from the building.

I stop suddenly. Where am I going? What am I doing NO THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT ME

“It’s the ugly bitch!”

“Damn your ugly man.”

“Ugly”

Ugly. Ugly ugly ugly ugly. Even the day I was born. Always been and will be ugly. No friends. No life. No beauty. Pathetic. In my last life I was beautiful.

I continue to run after this like someone with a loaded gun is about to pull the trigger. POW! Trigger pulled. All the while my vision becomes blurrier and blurrier by the millisecond.

“AHHH!” Standing in front of my eyes is the open freeway. Cars speeding by my feet just a foot or two from me.

Ugly…

“AGGGHHH!!!” All the world’s deepest darkness fills my soul.

I can’t do this anymore… I begin to step towards the road.

…

What’s stopping me?  The road lies about an inch from my scuffed converse shoes.

I have nothing to live for-

I’m scared…

“You fucking wimp just fucking do it you fucking lil’ fucking bitch.”

Augh!

I step back a moment, sit down and think.

“HEY RAE!!” I jump so much my soul basically leaves my body. The girl who asked if I was okay earlier is running towards me absurdly waving. I suddenly noticed the group of people walking out of the building.

“What are you doing out here early?!”

“Huh- I could ask you the same question.”