Clark's loud cheer was a bit obnoxious but Ethan did not comment on it as he went to pull out his freshman yearbook. Clark looked over his shoulder as he began to flip through the pages. He saw many familiar faces, though there were few he actually liked.

He found Lilian Hugh, the senior everyone had been afraid of posing as she hung off of her basketball player boyfriend's arm. He also saw the debate club photo where all of the most annoying people to talk to had gathered to be infuriating together.

He had laughed when he saw the cat club photo as well since he and his best friend Aiden were thrown into it despite having only gone to one meeting. It didn't take long for him to remember that the club had just needed as many people in the picture as possible to get funding for the next year, and that memory made him laugh harder. Clark had been a bit confused as to why the photo was funny until Ethan explained it, then Clark was laughing along too.

He reached the section for the sports teams and knew that there wasn't anything for him to find there. None of his close friends that year played sports, so there was nothing for him to see.

Ethan's eyes flickered over to the rugby team before he shook his head. There was no familiar face, and he knew that. Yet he had looked. Just in case. The speed at which he flipped past the section was impressive, and he noticed Clark watching the side of his face curiously.

He got to the section that organized the photos of every student by grade. When he was in high school, it was the most boring section because he just used it to see how he and his friend(s) looked that year. He was a bit more amused when he caught sight of the twins that had tried to pose back to back while looking at each other, but instead wound up leaning on random classmates.

"Oh, where are you and Aiden in here?" Clark asked, his eyes flickering over the pages and hoping to see either of the aforementioned men. Ethan rolled his eyes with a soft smile.

"This is the section for students with last names starting with 'A', you're going to have to flip through a while before you even find Aiden." Ethan reminded the younger man, deciding to do the work for him and flip to the 'M' section to find Aiden.

The sight of his wide eyes and innocent expression brought a wave of nostalgia to hit Ethan full force. That had been Aiden's first year in the city and he had been so unaccustomed to the speed at which they took the photos that he ended up just looking scared. But, the photo was a great representation of how Aiden had felt that first year.

Ethan remembered seeing him sitting so unsure of himself and hesitant in those first weeks of class. Ethan wouldn't have put in the effort to befriend him if he hadn't accidentally heard the shorter boy grumble over how dumb their teacher was. His comment had been so funny and blunt, a complete 180 from Aiden's usual attitude, and Ethan immediately wanted him as his friend.

Ethan didn't pay much attention when they got to his photo, only acknowledging how gross and young he had looked, and quickly moving on to find his best friend's husband. Aaron had looked oddly confident in his photo, but Ethan took sweet satisfaction in being able to say that Aaron had looked scrawnier then. Plus his hairstyle was gross. Ethan snapped a photo to tease Aaron with later.

Back then, Aiden and Aaron didn't know much about each other, Aaron saw Aiden as a cute guy he would probably never get the chance to go out with, and Aiden saw Aaron as the guy who has stolen his one true love (long story). Ethan chuckled thinking about the fact that back then, they never would have believed the life they have now created together. Ethan was smiling as he closed the first book.

Clark hadn't been saying much, making the occasional comment here and there, but otherwise remaining silent. Ethan was far more nervous when he picked up the second book. This was the year it had all happened. It was the year Aiden had created a relationship with Scarlett Hale and had tried to win her over.

It was the year Ethan and Aiden had met Meaghan, who had been a freshman and grew closer with her. It was the year Aiden found out that he was into Scarlett's boyfriend more than he was into her and the year that Aaron finally got to be with the boy of his dreams. It was the year that a once small friend group had expanded immensely to accommodate all the relationships being created. It was the year that-

Ethan's train of thought paused as he found himself in the teams' section again.

"Why did you flip to this section first, Ethan? Is there anyone that you know?" Clark's question echoed through Ethan's mind like a distant sound, fading away as smoothly as it had entered. His eyes found the dark black man in an instant as they had always known where to find him. They always do.

Ethan was not as in control of himself as he wanted to be. He let his focus go and watched as his thumb gently swept over the page where his lips were printed in ink. The color was vibrant and technically grasped the dark brown and pink hue of his full lips, but it didn't do them any justice. Ethan knew what those lips looked like. He had seen them -felt them- with his very own skin. No high school yearbook would ever be able to capture the extent of their -his- beauty.

Ethan was staring at the dark brown eyes when Clark's question made its way back into the forefront of his mind. He pulled his hand off of the page, flipping through the book so he wouldn't be distracted any longer. He cleared his throat, his eyes a bit shinier than before.

"No." He answered, feeling the weight of the lie burn a hole through his chest. "I don't know anyone there."

This was the year that Chris had moved schools and started going to their school. Ethan's school. Ethan couldn't help himself and went to find Chris' face in any part of the yearbook he looked at. Clark stared intently at him the entire time he did this but didn't say a word anytime he saw the same face come up.

Gosh, he was everywhere. There was way too much material to feed the odd emotion growing in Ethan at that very second. It was nearly too much and he skipped to the solo photos to not get caught up in it any longer. But, he couldn't help but let his hand flip a bit slower on a page where no one he knew, was there and let his eyes drift up to get a glimpse of that face again. But Ethan didn't look for long, though, because he would never let Clark get a proper look at the name.

Trying to get through the yearbook for Ethan's Junior year was the worst. Sophomore year was the year that everything had happened for Aiden, Aaron, and all of their friends. Junior year was the year that everything happened for Ethan. It was the year that everything happened between Ethan and Chris. Ethan didn't look through it for long. He couldn't, not really.

And despite having explained this all to Clark, he didn't want to let Clark know who Chris really was, at least not who he really was to Ethan. That nasty streak of jealousy, the one that had ruined everything in the first place, reappeared again. He didn't want Clark to see Chris. He wanted to keep as much of his memory of Chris to himself: that was how Ethan felt at that moment.

Ethan didn't try to reach for the senior yearbook, he surely would have cried then and got up from his seat instead. Clark's eyebrows drew together in confusion as he saw Ethan go towards his bedroom.

"What, aren't you going to go through the last one?" Clark asked, holding up the final book while his eyes turned sad. Ethan paused but didn't turn around to face Clark again.

"There's no need," Ethan explained, continuing in his steps and reaching his bedroom door. "I've already seen enough."

Ethan walked into his room and closed the door. He paused, mentally debating with himself before he decided to lock the door. Ethan let his shoulders sag and practically floated over to stand in front of his bed. Turning around, Ethan fell back into his bed behind him and stared up at the ceiling wistfully.

The blank white ceiling, without Ethan noticing what happened, transformed into a blank screen where Ethan could project his memories right before his eyes.

His mind went back, nearly 8 years back in fact, to the time when Chris didn't know him, and he didn't know Chris.