As fall leaves floated gently to the ground around me, I thought about reflecting on my new school. My lunch beside me, I had decided to sit by myself, finding some benches beneath some trees with a stone path looping around. It had been two weeks at Rising Shards, and I somehow hadn’t sat by myself outside on the lovely campus to have a meal in solitude, and I wanted to rectify that.

Next to me was a pale blue notebook. Berin got it for me, a nifty little leatherbound book that he said might be good for me to write my thoughts down in given the, well, generally most things going on in my life. For some reason the journal was titled “Repeating Forms and Shapes.” I didn’t think a diary necessarily needed a title, and I also wasn’t sure how I felt about some diary factory deciding on a title for me. That said, I did like the vibe of it, so I resisted my urge to cross it out. I was lamenting something as I had my lunch, so I paged through the early entries of my diary to try and understand some things that were stuck in my head.

 

Berin got me a journal a few months ago but I haven’t really had the motivation to use it (adjusting to the outside world is a taxing process…) but now that I’m starting school at a real school and not a prison, I figure it’s high time Oka Ohri starts journaling. Diarying? Journaling sounds better. But this is a diary. Hi, diary. I’m Oka. Is it cool if I call you diary? I know it says “Repeating Forms and Shapes” on the front of you. I’m not really sure what that means. Company name maybe? Or maybe it means that journaling is like. Repeating old forms and shapes? Like thinking back on our past memories which when you think back on them, are repeating shapes and such? Something like that.

Anyways. Today was my first day at Rising Shards. It’s so big it’s almost scary. But that’s how I feel about the Kilander house too. Adjusting to building bigness is probably step 1 or 1.5 of adjusting to the outside Tesata world. Step 1.5 of like a million. A billion even.

Tesata, by the way, is where I grew up. It, in a word, sucked. I had no modern anything so now I feel like I’m a billion years behind. And everyone was a jerk there, teacher and student. I had no friends, it was on an island in the middle of a big lake so the most I could get of the outside world is faintly seeing the skyline of Litus Empirica, the big city nearby. “Nearby.” Very far away, but nearby. Tesata is an elementary/junior high and an orphanage type deal. So we were all messes there. I, perhaps, the messiest of them all. I know I give off the impression that I’m mature, but deep down I’m a mess like everyone else, don’t worry. 

The Kilanders, by the way, are my new family. Berin’s my new “dad.” He’s nice but they’re all rich so I have an air of untrusting about this whole thing. Although Berin did help me have my best birthday ever so I dunno. He’s alright. His brother Penteldtam is Rising Shards’ principal, he’s weird but I think he means well. There’s also Caya, who’s married to one of Berin and Penteldtam’s brothers (I think?). Caya’s all military, which is cool. I haven’t talked to the rest much but I’ll keep you updated as I learn more.

So how did the friendless, bad at socializing, billion years behind all technological-like Oka Ohri do on her first day? Well, I think I made two new friends! My roommates’ names are Zeta Faleur and Kalei Koridia. Zeta’s a lighter skinned girl with long hair and pretty blue eyes. She’s pretty all over I suppose. She seemed very shy but I think she’s friendly. Kalei has darker skin and wavy black hair and is pretty strong? She’s more athletic than anyone I’ve ever met. Personality: jokester. I’m not used to someone who thinks they’re funny actually being funny so that’s new (Tesata’s student body for the most part suuuucked).

 

My first two weeks at Rising Shards were really like visiting another world after my time at Tesata. Like I was trapped deep underground, a colony of alien mole people or something, and was just now coming up for air. It was exhilarating, terrifying, sometimes really boring, but most of all I felt happy. Which wasn’t how I was used to feeling at school. And since the school I grew up at doubled as an orphanage, I guess I wasn’t used to feeling happy in general. Not that I was never happy at Tesata. Just that I mostly wasn’t. I wondered if just about two weeks after was too early to be looking at my diary entries to reflect upon my past, but it was my diary so I decided I could do whatever I wanted with it!

Rereading the first few pages of my diary didn’t really help with the things I was mulling over, though. First, the ants. There were a lot of ants around the bench and for some reason they kept crawling over me and they were big and itchy and annoying. Number two: much more pressingly, Zeta was busy, having to be alone for an elongated phone call with her sister. I had only known Zeta Faleur for approximately two weeks, but she had wedged her way to the forefront of my thoughts quickly, even taking precedence over the ants climbing all over me (go away you weirdos!). With Zeta busy, I found I was still thinking about her a great amount. Like, a lot. And paging through my diary, wondering how much of the diary I had filled with my musings on Zeta Faleur already and if anyone else came close in mentions or time spent putting ink pen to paper. 

Kalei was my next closest friend, but she didn’t dominate my thoughts like Zeta did, which was a bit puzzling. So far, I did really enjoy Kalei’s friendship. She was a bit rude a lot of the time, but funny. I didn’t find her malicious or anything. While I enjoyed my lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwich, carrot sticks, and beef jerky (I wanted freaking dessert but they were out of these marshmallow gloopy deals and they were what I really wanted so I denied myself the second place dessert of way too dry brownies).

 

First secret between you and me, diary. I conjured a flower—Oh, I’m a Cani too, probably should have mentioned that. It means I have fangs and I don’t wanna say “magic powers” but. Basically magic powers. My gift is plant conjuring—anyways, I conjured a flower for Zeta when I met her. I dunno why, but then I had to give one to Kalei and I told them I give everyone flowers. I didn’t want Kalei to feel left out, but Zeta just radiated the energy of someone I felt needed a flower. Maybe it’s because she had a nosebleed and bit her lip so bad it bled all in the first few hours of meeting her. But I guess that was after I met her. Maybe I just sensed it, I don’t know.

Room wise, I got the bottom bunk of the double bed, Kalei will sleep above me, and Zeta sleeps on the bed opposite us. Our dorm room is amazing! I’ve never had a bathroom that’s like. Mine. Before this. I mean, I guess at the Kilander house, but that doesn’t feel like home yet. Also the amount of stuff besides a bathroom too. There’s a whole big closet we share!

 

That was the first time I wrote in depth about Zeta, and it hit me that I had stumbled upon some kind of quest. A newfound duty to seek out understanding of whatever the heck was going on in my tummy about this Zeta girl. Because it wasn't just the PB&J rumbling around in there, there was a definite tummy sensation whenever I thought about Zeta. What was her deal, really? If I knew her better, that might help me understand myself better. I declared it to myself there as I finished off my jerky with a determined chomp. My mission for the rest of lunch and class that day: I was going to investigate Zeta Faleur. What that meant I wasn’t sure. But I was thinking maybe my classmates had some intel on her that I didn’t.