Kasumi: The Dark Knight was an amazing movie!

Aquila: Indeed – genre-elevating, even!

K: The Joker was a terrifying villain.  Every time he was on screen, I was on the edge of my seat.

A: That he was.  It’s just a pity Batman wasn’t up to the task.

K: I’m not following you here.

A: Well, he’s not a very good superhero, is he?  His concept is flawed from the beginning.

K: He seemed pretty effective to me.

A: Think about it, Kasumi!  He’s supposed to be this terrifying vigilante who strikes fear into the heart of criminals.  And what does he dress up as?  A bat.

K: Still not following you.

A: Bats aren’t scary!  They’re cute and furry.  A criminal sees a man dressed up like a bat, they’re not going to be afraid – they’re going to go, “So cute!” and want to pet him.

K: I’m not sure everybody feels that way about bats.

A: Anybody who has ever met one does!  And how could they not?  They’re just like adorable flying mice.  And Batman can’t even get that right.

K: Um...

A: It’s quite simple and logical.  Do you see any fur on Batman’s costume?

K: Mainly I see body armour.

A: Exactly!  His costume is based on a bat, but it’s not furry or fuzzy at all.  It’s like he missed the point of bats.  So, when a criminal sees him, there’s nothing for them to pet!

K: Right...

A: Batman is suffering massive species confusion!  And who suffers the most?  The criminals who are deprived of a cute thing to pet and brighten their day.

K: Moving on, what did you think of the plot.

A: The plot was amazing.  And you can really see the true mastermind at work in every scene.

K: You mean the Joker, right?

A: Who’s talking about the Joker?  The Joker is just a pawn.

K: You can’t mean the League of Shadows.  They don’t appear in this one.

A: The League of Shadows are amateurs compared to the real mastermind...Jim Gordon!

K: Wait, what?  You mean the police officer on Batman’s side?

A: Think about it, Kasumi!  Who benefits from everything that happens in the movie?  It’s not Batman, and it’s not the Joker.  It’s Jim Gordon.  He starts off as a Lieutenant, and he finishes the movie as the Commissioner of Police.

K: That interpretation seems...unlikely.

A: It’s more likely than you think.  Consider this – what power does Jim Gordon have in Gotham at the beginning of the movie?

K: Well, none.  He’s leading a Major Crimes unit.

A: And what stands in his way to absolute power over Gotham?

K: I’m pretty sure that’s not something he’s looking for.

A: The Police Commissioner, Kasumi!  And the Joker kills him, along with the one honest judge who could have reigned Gordon in.

K: I think you may be missing the point of Gordon’s character.

A: It’s all right there on the screen!  By the end of the movie, he has total control over the police.  Not only that, the one honest District Attorney is out of the picture!  The entire city is now in Jim Gordon’s hands...and all he had to do to get it was team up with a man who doesn’t know what bats look like and a clown who needs to stop doing his own makeup.

K: That’s...quite the read on the movie.

A: Jim Gordon’s plan was perfect – not a single flaw.

K: What about the Joker’s unpredictability?

A: That’s not a flaw.  It’s a feature.

K: ...right.  So, wrapping up, who’s your candidate for best girl?

A: The Batpod.

K: What, that motorcycle thing that comes out of the Batmobile?

A: I just really like the way it moves.

K: Okay then...to sum up, we really liked The Dark Knight, and apparently Batman needs to look up more pictures of bats...

A: That costume needs to be furry!