Kasumi: This was a fun dinosaur movie!

Aquila: It really was!  It was like somebody watched Planet of Dinosaurs and decided to remake it, but good.

K: I loved Adam Driver’s performance of Mills.  You really do get a sense of him pulling himself out of loss and hopelessness as he helps that poor girl Koa get to the escape pod so that they can get off the planet.

A: It is a great performance.  Still, I can’t help but feel sorry for those poor dinosaurs.

K: Makes sense.  The movie is set on the eve of the asteroid impact that causes their extinction.

A: Who’s talking about that?  I’m talking about all the crap they have to deal with because of Mills!

K: Um...what?

A: Think about it Kasumi!  It’s bad enough that they’re about to deal with a massive rock hitting their planet, but some psychopathic, dinosaur-hating pilot shows up the day before and plays havoc with them.

K: I think you may be reading something into it that isn’t there...

A: Oh, it’s there.  Those dinosaurs are just minding their own business, living their lives, and as soon as he arrives, he and his companion start screwing around with them.  If there were dinosaur cops, Mills and Koa would have been arrested for disturbing the peace.

K: What about that baby Ankylosaur thing stuck in the tar pit?  It’s in distress and they rescue it.

A: Oh Kasumi, you can’t expect dinosaur body language to be the same as ours.  That poor thing was clearly taking a relaxing mud bath, and then Mills and Koa dragged it out and put it in the hands of a mob of unruly delinquents!

K: A mud bath in tar.

A: Tar is very restful for dinosaurs.

K: And those raptors who try to eat Mills and Koa?

A: In the middle of enjoying their morning jog when Mills just shows up and starts shooting them.

K: But they attack first.

A: They read his body language – Mills is clearly not very good at hiding his intentions.

K: And that big T-Rex-like thing at the mouth of the cave?

A: I don’t judge other people’s fetishes.

K: Um...

A: I mean, it’s not mine to decide what a dinosaur glory hole should look like.  If they want to use a cave, I’ve got nothing to say about it.

K: Right...moving onto something less squicky while I try to bleach that image out of my brain, what about that oviraptor that attacks Mills in the cave when he and Koa get separated?

A: Well, how would you feel if some stranger walked in on you while you were in the bathroom?

K: I see...and those T-Rex things that try to eat Mills and Koa while they’re trying to escape?

A: They’re not trying to eat them.

K: It looked like they were trying to eat them to me.

A: Well, process servers always look predatory.

K: Process servers.

A: It’s perfectly logical when you think about it!  In the time that Mills and Koa were on the planet they drag a dinosaur out of its mud bath and hand it over to a gang, shoot up a group of joggers, disrupt a sex club, and invade its bathroom.  Mills and Koa are absolutely going to get sued!  But, you still have to serve them the documents before they leave...and what do Mills and Koa do?  They burn the face off of an officer of the dinosaur court.

K: Right...

A: It’s absolutely criminal.  Mills and Koa go on a rampage against those poor, innocent dinosaurs, right on the day that they’re going to get hit by an asteroid.  The dinosaurs deserved better on their last day!

K: Okay then...moving on, who’s your candidate for best girl?

A: Whatever dinosaur was waiting behind that glory hole.

K: Seriously?

A: We should support dinosaur kinks, particularly after some psychopathic astronaut rampages through the sex dungeon!

K: And, wrapping up, we liked 65, and apparently Mills and Koa need a good lawyer.

A: Well, needed.  They got saved by the asteroid!