Ethan could barely pay attention to the movie playing on the screen. It was probably entertaining and funny, judging by the laughs he heard from his friends around him, but his unfocused eyes couldn’t take in any of it. It was their last day at the resort and Ethan couldn’t even enjoy their last activity. All because of Chris Davis. Why must that hunk of a guy ruin his long weekend? 

Since what happened Saturday evening, Chris has been as distant as ever. Before Ethan and Chris went on this trip, Ethan thought they were becoming friends. Of course, that was just optimistic terms for being acquaintances, but Ethan genuinely had hope that they would grow closer. While Ethan doubted he would ever be in a relationship with Chris, he liked the idea of at least being Chris' friend. 

However, the second Ethan admitted to having a wet dream about a guy, Chris would barely look at him. Chris moved about their room as if Ethan wasn’t there and any time they had to speak, he wore this blank expression on his face. Sunday had been extremely eventful because they went to the beach and were then invited to a party, only to find out that the host was on his merry way to becoming a rapist. Throughout the entire ordeal, Chris rarely sent Ethan a glance. 

Ethan tried to console himself about the situation, telling himself that if Chris was doing this because he liked guys then he didn’t want Chris in his life anyway. Yet, that reasoning did little to ease his hurt. He and Chris were little more than strangers at this point and that bothered Ethan a lot. 

Ethan looked up to see Tom Cruise shooting up a couple of guys while also trying to have a conversation with Cameron Diaz’s character. Ethan believed the movie was called Knight and Day but—as he’d previously mentioned—he hasn’t been paying attention. 

Ethan just wished that things were different. He didn’t want to be in a world where friendships were made or broken simply because of dating preferences. It made him so frustrated it hurt. Ethan looked over at Aiden who was watching the film with avid interest. While Aiden had been sexually harassed at the party last night, he was acting as if everything was completely fine. It was like nothing had happened. At that moment Ethan realized something major. It wasn’t that Aiden hadn’t been affected by last night’s events but he had chosen not to dwell on them. If Aiden could continue to enjoy his life after that happened, why couldn’t Ethan?

Ethan glanced over at Chris to see him staring at the screen with apparent interest. Chris was the guy that had him so upset, but he didn’t seem bothered at all. Why was Ethan the only one affected? Ethan had dwelled on this for so long, and he was frankly sick of it. Ethan finally watched the current scene properly. Seeing the famous action star Tom Cruise being comedic was actually really entertaining. Ethan was enjoying the movie. How many funny scenes had he missed wallowing over the fact that Chris was ignoring him?

Ethan decided to put thoughts of Chris away for now. He was sure that later in the day he would get caught up in them again. But, for now, he may as well try to enjoy their last day.

—————

Mr. and Mrs. Moore were rattling off instructions for the drivers to follow as they went back home. It wasn’t even six in the evening, but Mr. Moore wanted them back in Toronto before it got too dark. Everyone split up to go to their respective cars. This forced Ethan and Chris to silently walk over to Chris' car.

Alone. 

Like he’d been doing for the second half of their weekend, Chris was as cold as ice toward Ethan. The two of them had packed in the same room but no words had been exchanged. Now, Chris had taken Ethan’s bags from him and started stuffing them into the trunk silently. Ethan felt awkward about not helping but Chris didn’t give him the opportunity to do anything. Ethan dropped his head, feeling awkward, and went around to the passenger seat.

Ethan was buckled up and comfortable by the time Chris finally came to sit next to him. Ethan didn’t expect Chris to say anything, yet he still looked over at Chris when he sat down, hopeful that Chris would surprise him.

His gaze burned into Chris' face, but Chris continued to get himself adjusted without a word. 

Say something. Ethan practically begged with his eyes. But Chris didn’t look and he certainly didn’t speak. Ethan flopped back into his chair with a disappointed sigh. Everyone began to drive and soon enough, the resort was out of sight. Chris hadn’t spoken. Later, Ethan checked the time and saw that they had been driving for nearly half an hour. Still, not a word.

Ethan fiddled with his fingers and his left leg wouldn’t stop bouncing. Chris didn’t want to talk and he should respect his wish but they’d been alone together for this long and Ethan was a talker and he wasn’t sure he could keep quiet any longer-

“Are you homophobic?” 

Chris' eyes went wide at the question Ethan spewed out. Ethan looked nearly as shocked as Chris was because he hadn’t expected his question to come out like that. His plan was to ease into it, asking if Chris had any problem with him or something like that. Instead, he’d just blurted out this bold accusation with little to no thought. 

Ethan bit at his bottom lip but didn’t retract his question. Although the way he said it was tactless, Ethan did want to know. 

Chris shook his head with a short laugh, one hand coming off the wheel to scratch at his curly cropped hair. 

“No, I’m not homophobic. Not at all.” Chris finally answered, his eyes leaving the road to look at Ethan. The sight momentarily stopped the breath in his chest so Chris planted his eyes back on the road. “I would call myself an ally of the community, actually.”

That was the closest Chris could get to saying he was gay in public without admitting he was gay. It was his go-to phrase to explain why he defended those in the community so passionately.

Ethan eased back into his seat, a relieved smile appearing on his lips. 

“Good. I was worried you were ignoring me because I’m into guys.” Ethan admitted with a warm smile. But, his smile began to droop when he realized something else. Chris wasn’t homophobic, but Chris still hadn’t explained why he was ignoring him. Now that the homophobic idea was out of the way, Ethan was even more frightened to find out the reason. If it wasn’t because of his sexuality, then it was because of his personality, wasn’t it? Ethan was scared to ask, but he had to know. “Chris, why have you been ignoring me?”

Chris froze when the question left Ethan’s soft pink lips. He should’ve known it was coming. Yet, Chris still felt surprised by it. It was as if a spotlight was placed on him, leaving Chris bare to scrutiny and judgment. If Chris didn’t play this right, it could be Ethan who ignored him.

Chris gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and tried to organize his thoughts.

“Ethan, my attitude had nothing to do with you. I’ve . . . just been going through some stuff. I’m sorry.” Chris continually looked over at Ethan, torn between maintaining eye contact and not wanting them to crash. But, from what he saw, Ethan was accepting his apology. 

The worry in Ethan’s chest eased. 

It wasn’t about him. 

Ethan let out a boisterous laugh, surprising Chris so much that he hit his left elbow on the door. 

Chris looked at Ethan with wide eyes, but Ethan didn’t notice. He was too busy laughing at the absurdity of it all. He had been worrying himself to death over why Chris was being so distant. But, it wasn’t even about him.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, I really thought that it was something I’d done,” Ethan explained through several more giggles. Chris shook his head, a gentle smile settling on his lips from the sound of Ethan’s laughter.

“No, it wasn’t your fault.”

Chris made that last comment to ease his conscience about his previous white lie. He had been acting cold to Ethan on purpose but for completely different reasons. Ethan liked someone at their school and, although he was into guys, the crush made him virtually unavailable. During this past weekend, it had become incredibly clear to Chris that he liked Ethan. He liked Ethan so much that he wanted him with all the fixings on top and his affections have only been growing. 

But, Ethan already liked somebody else. It was clear to Chris that his feelings would only be a nuisance to Ethan. So, he’d come up with a brilliant plan to get over his crush. When getting over his crushes in the past, Chris simply had to create some distance. He would organize his schedule so he saw his crush less or not allow himself to see any of their social media. In a matter of weeks, Chris' feelings would shrivel up and fade like flowers in the fall. 

It would have been a fool-proof plan with Ethan as well, Chris thought, if they weren’t already friends. Friends sharing the same room. In hindsight, it was idiotic for Chris to try to create distance the second he knew that Ethan liked somebody. Considering how much time they spent together at the resort, he should have waited until they got back home. 

But frankly, Chris had been scared. In less than two days his feelings for Ethan had grown exponentially. He was worried that if he waited too long, he might reach a point of no return. 

But now, seeing how his distance affected Ethan, Chris knew there was no hope. Even if that system could work regarding his feelings for Ethan, Chris would never be able to stay away for long enough. He enjoyed Ethan’s company way too much. If Chris ended up falling in love with Ethan, he would just have to deal with the pain. 

Chris needed to have Ethan around. 

And, maybe that simple statement showed that it was already too late for Chris to go back.

With everything cleared up, Ethan began to talk freely again. Hearing the paler boy going on and on about some video he’d seen made Chris' decision seem completely worth it. For the next two hours, instead of listening to music, Ethan and Chris just talked.

They talked and talked until the signature buildings of downtown Toronto passed by and evening turned into night. Even as Chris helped Ethan get his stuff back into his home, they talked. And, Ethan hoped that their conversations would continue after this weekend was over.