Aquila: I really liked Paw Patrol!

Kasumi: I’m getting that...I’m a bit more confused about why we watched it.

A: I’m just finding myself fascinated by Western children’s programming, that’s all.  The worldbuilding has some truly remarkable implications.

K: I think most of it is just there to appeal to small children...and to sell toys.

A: But think about what Adventure Bay has accomplished – they’ve solved the problem of budgeting municipal public services!

K: What, the city the show is set in?  Not quite seeing how they managed that.

A: Just think about it, Kasumi – the Paw Patrol handles everything, from policing to firefighting to recycling.  They put all of the public services into the hands of superintelligent dogs!  It’s brilliant!

K: I think that’s more that they needed characters kids would like...

A: They don’t have to pay any salaries!  All they need to give the dogs is food and chew toys, and they’ll be happy...because they’re dogs!

K: They do seem to have a lot of new vehicles, though.

A: Well, that’s hardly a problem for the town, is it?  After all, they can just put all the money they’re saving on salaries into buying new vehicles for the Paw Patrol.  They’ve got a perfectly balanced budget!

K: And what about Ryder, the kid who runs the Paw Patrol?  He’s human – shouldn’t he get paid?

A: He’s underage.  Clearly in the Paw Patrol universe that puts him outside of labour laws.

K: Doesn’t that make it child exploitation?

A: Not for Ryder.  After all, he’s just a supervillain biding his time before he strikes.  He’s the one exploiting them.

K: And now you’ve lost me.

A: He’s got an underground lair beneath the Paw Patrol tower, he’s taken over all of the public functions of the town, and he’s surrounded himself with animals who can hunt.

K: You may be over-thinking this.

A: When Ryder decides to take over Adventure Bay, there is nothing that will be able to stop him.  And his dogs are so cute, nobody will stand against them – they’ll be too busy trying to pet the nice little doggies!  He’s basically already won.

K: And what about the actual supervillain, Mayor Humdinger?

A: He’s the fool who went with cats.  They’re not team players at all!  Besides, I don’t think he’s actually a mayor.

K: I see.

A: I think ‘Mayor’ is his first name.

K: Right...so what else about the worldbuilding?  What did you make of all those deserts and arctic climates nearby?

A: I have a theory.

K: Oh?

A: I think it’s set in a Minecraft world.  They’re all just different Minecraft biomes.

K: That...actually makes a degree of sense.  Wait a moment, if it’s Minecraft, why isn’t it blocky?

A: It’s modded Minecraft.  It’s modded so that round things look round.

K: Right...moving on, who’s your candidate for best girl?

A: Big Hairy’s doll.

K: What, the one owned by the giant monkey?

A: Precisely!  That poor girl spends her entire existence reliving King Kong.  That takes true resilience!

K: Okay then...wrapping up, we liked Paw Patrol, and Adventure Bay needs to find a better way of balancing its budget.

A: No point, it’s too late.  Ryder already controls the town.