Aquila: "The Giggle" was a really good episode!

Kasumi: Absolutely – it really managed to create a wonderful sense of suspense and horror.

A: And the Toymaker is an amazing villain.  He lit up the screen.  I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

K: It’s an amazing performance.

A: Kasumi, I want a TARDIS.

K: Um...okay?

A: I’m serious.  Now that I’ve seen it, I want a TARDIS.

K: Well, I mean, if you really want to travel that way...

A: Who’s talking about travel?  I can take us between story worlds all on my own – I don’t need a TARDIS for that.

K: Wait, but if it’s not for travel, why would you want a TARDIS?

A: Kasumi, you saw what the inside was like.  It was huge – just think about how much stuff we could put into it!

K: You want one to use as luggage?

A: Absolutely!  We could just put it on wheels, and drag it around behind us when we travel.

K: I think it would be rather heavy...

A: So, we have Captain Infinite do it.  He’s strong.

K: Right...a TARDIS would be pretty tricky to create, you know.  My magic sketchbook is good at bringing things into reality, but it would take a while to figure out how to make a trans-dimensional box.

A: No need for that.  We both saw how to make a new TARDIS – we just need to find that Toymaker fellow, beat him up, and make him give us one.

K: It’s not “beat him up.”  You have to beat him...in a game.

A: That takes too long.  Besides, after all the people he’s imprisoned, he has it coming...and he’s also really scrawny, so it would be easy!

K: He can turn people into coloured balls.

A: I can erase them from existence.  I’m a former god of destruction with the power to warp the reality of any story world, remember?  Just because I retired, it doesn’t mean my powers went away.  So, we find the Toymaker, pin him down, and make him give us a TARDIS.

K: We’re not doing that.

A: But it would be so easy!  And he got banished from the universe after losing a game of catch.  That makes him both scrawny and an idiot!

K: We are not mugging somebody to get extra luggage!

A: But–

K: I said no.  Now, what did you think of the new regeneration?

A: It’s a terrible missed opportunity, really.

K: How so?

A: Franchising!

K: I think you lost me here.

A: The Toymaker figured it out.  You’ve got an evil-fighting hero who can now reproduce by mitosis – just think of the possibilities.  Need a Doctor for UNIT to deal with a pesky Sontaran invasion?  Just split one off.  Need a Doctor to send to NASA because they found spiders on the moon?  Split another one off.  There would be an unlimited supply!

K: The Doctor split after the Toymaker killed him.  Are you seriously suggesting repeatedly shooting the Doctor to make more?

A: Of course not!  You figure out how to initiate the process without any need for violence.  The research might be expensive, but once it’s figured out, the franchise would pay for itself.  The Doctor would be able to live a life in comfortable retirement with lots of money and the world would be extra safe because they’ve got no end of Doctors running around – everybody wins!

K: Right...wrapping up, who is your candidate for best girl?

A: Stooky Bill’s wife.

K: What, that marionette that attacks Donna Noble?

A: Absolutely!  Somebody bought her husband, ripped his head off, and set it on fire – she deserves justice!  She should have sued.

K: Okay...to sum up, we liked Doctor Who: The Giggle, and apparently marionettes need better legal representation.

A: Justice for the widow and children of Stooky Bill!