Noa refused to rest for even one full day. I was worried he would rip his stitches, and any sight of his own blood would cause him to faint. I finally got him to at least sit after I promised him Tal’kka and G’wala weren’t going to bring back poison instead of medicine. He was increasingly on edge, sitting in his chair awkwardly while smoking his pipe, ears twitching at even the slightest sound. He grew rigid at any footsteps in the hall, watching the door with a hunter’s gaze to see if it would open. I had a small suspicion in the back of my mind that the Su’a sent him to the colonies to be killed. He wouldn’t entertain the idea the Su’a would do that to him, but his face grew tight in thought, anyway.

I pulled him from his thinking by asking what reason the Su’a gave to bring him to the colonies. He rested his pipe on the table, and I sat up from my spot on the floor. He hadn’t forced me there, I had just been so bored and felt I needed a change of place to lie down. He pulled his ears back for a moment. “There was political instability in the northeast,” he said. “While I do not agree with the methods used to bring order back to the colonies, order has been restored and trade must open up again.” He took a drag on his pipe. “Not exactly,” he said in response to me asking if it was a petty revolt. “Yes, Ny’yom’a’s vassals were overthrown, and it did bleed into Ko’ut. There was a refugee crisis the Su’a didn’t wish to address.” He scratched the back of his ear. “A war broke out years later, led by the Re’u. They’ve set up their own vassals in Ny’yom’a and Ko’ut.” His voice took on a growl. “The colonies grow more independent by the day. Soon we’ll have to fight another war to stop the Re’u’s dreams of a return to imperialism.”

I rubbed at my temples trying to make sense of his hypocrisy. Yu’ottu imposes imperial rule on a neighboring continent, and he’s upset the peoples living there want autonomy? I was beginning to understand his hate of anywhere but his duchy—it wasn’t “pure” Yu’ottu. Somewhere west of the Gnaou’i Mountains Yu’ottu was born and conquered all it could, just like the empires back home. Who knew who the native peoples east of the Gnaou’i Mountains were, if they were wiped out or if they survived in a way by interbreeding with the Yu’ottuans. “Noa,” I said, working my way through a starting migraine, “do you see the Re’u as a threat to Yu’ottu?”

He laughed. “They’ve been landlocked for generations, they could never—” He cut himself off, thinking a moment. He held his injured side and breathed out. “Yes,” he said. “Their newest king has treaties with the best shipbuilders and seafarers I’ve ever seen.” Something dawned on him, and he sprung from his seat, limping over to his bag and rummaging through it. He pulled a paper from his luggage and slammed it on the table, skimming it before calling me over. “Him.” I looked at the word his finger was pointing to. I couldn’t read it, but I could make out it had only two different letters in it. “I’m certain he’s plotted to kill me because I refused to give support for their little war.”

“And if you’re paranoid and it isn’t one big conspiracy?” I asked.

He raised his hand as if to slap me and I flinched. He balled it into a fist. “I’m not paranoid—” The door opened before he could finish and he flipped around, hackles raised, and teeth bared. He composed himself, breathing in and out at Tal’kka and G’wala having returned from their trip to the apothecary. I muttered he was paranoid, and his fist tightened, releasing to press against his wound, the tiniest whine escaping his throat. I shooed the rabbits from our room after G’wala gave me the medicine, his hands lingering a bit longer than I would’ve liked with Noa and Tal’kka in the same room as us. “They could’ve stayed,” he said, though I saw him relax. His ears and tail sinking ever so slightly.

I ignored him, opening the little pouch G’wala had handed me. “Take your shirt off and sit down.” He grumbled but did what he was told. He looked at the ceiling as I peeled off the bandages and opened the little jar of salve. It cooled and numbed my fingers, and he flinched as it hit his injured skin. “What do you do to calm down?” I bandaged him up again. “Because you being so on edge is going to stress me out.”

“I work or spend ‘quality time’ with women.” He pulled his shirt back on, looking through the pouch himself now. “Neither of which I’m sure you’ll permit me to, for varying reasons.” He pulled out a little cube of green and swallowed it whole, making a face. “I’m not on edge or paranoid, so there’s nothing you should be stressed about.”

“You were ready to attack Tal’kka and G’wala because they didn’t knock,” I countered. “You were about ready to run into the hallway and tear out the throat of whoever was there.”

Noa set his jaw. “Alright,” he said, “maybe I am a tiny bit agitated. But need I remind you I was poisoned, robbed and stabbed?”

“Why didn’t you bring any sort of protection?” I asked. “A guard would’ve kept you from getting stabbed. A eunuch could have tasted all your food. You’re an important political figure!”

He let out a heavy breath from his nose, clearly upset that I had called him on his stupid travel decisions. “Do you know how hard it was to convince the Su’a to give a permit in your name?” He grabbed my wrist, squeezing it tight. “I could have begged on my hands and knees, and he would still refuse any additional permits.” I asked him even if it meant potentially saving his life. “No,” he said, “not for me, at least. Not since…” He cleared his throat, ears drooping. “He wouldn’t send me to die. I hold more sway than he cares to admit.” He let go of my wrist, pressing his side. “Do your fingers burn?”

I shook my head, and he pulled his shirt up, cautiously looking down at the bandages. Bits of red peaked out from the white bandages, I undid them to see angry skin dotted with bumps. I felt itchy just looking at it. I dug out the salve and sniffed it, getting a mixture of a few different scents I couldn’t quite place. Some sort of mint or menthol, slight floral and earthy fragrances. Nothing in it had a trace of something poisonous that I could make out. If anything, it looked more like an allergic reaction than them having used a poisonous plant like poison ivy or poison oak in creating the ointment. I wet a cloth and cleaned the area of the balm as best as I could before wrapping it once more. I told him it was nothing more than an allergic reaction; he let his shirt fall down and his hand idly moved just above the bandages and pressed. “Don’t mess with it.” I slapped his hand away.

“What am I supposed to do?” His voice came from his throat. “It feels like it’s on fire.”

“Take a bath and go to bed then.” I pulled myself to my feet. “Scratching and picking at it won’t make it heal faster.”

He let out a huff but kicked his shoes off, removed his pants, and walked over to the bed without a word. I watched him lie down, hand covering the injury overtop the blanket. I let out my own breath. I hadn’t thought being able to get away from him would happen so soon in our voyage. I debated on if it was better to go now or wait until we were in Ny’yom’a. An opportunity like this may not have presented itself to me if I waited. I busied myself by tidying the table, listening to Noa’s breathing. I had slept next to him for a month, I felt confident in my ability to tell when he was fully asleep just by the sound of his inhalation and exhalation of air.

Tal’kka and G’wala would be an entirely different issue if I ran into them. I would need an excuse, one that was sufficient to explain me being alone and not needing an escort. Nothing came to mind. Anything that Noa could accompany me for, either of them could take his place. And there wasn’t any commercial places I was aware of that only allowed women. So, I put all my faith in that they would stay in their room. I took some of Noa’s money, a few pieces of gold coin from the pouch he kept in his breast pocket.

I shuffled out of the room, barely picking my feet off from the floor in fear even the slightest creak would wake up Noa. I opened the door only as wide as I needed to slip out, shutting it with barely a click. I froze when I saw Tal’kka leaving his room, I hid my panic as we locked eyes and kept my hands behind my back to conceal the coins in my fist. “Vii’ta,” he walked towards me, leaning on his cane, “is something the matter?”

“No!” I said it too quickly, faster than the excuse that had been staring me in the face finally hit me. “Yes! There is, actually. I was just about to come to you.” I squeezed the coins in one hand and my wrist in the other, hoping I wasn’t acting too suspicious. “Noa had an allergic reaction to the salve,” my mouth felt dry as I spoke. “C-Could you two go back and ask what’s in it? I would go myself but…” I looked down, hoping it conveyed whatever it was Tal’kka wanted it to.

“I understand. Anything for the Vai,” he gave me a smile.

I forced a small smile of my own and decided to give myself a little bit more time, adding, “And-And if you could get a little bit of each ingredient? It’ll h-help narrow down what it is he’s allergic to.”

“Of course,” he said and returned to his room.

I snuck back in mine, taking a quick look at Noa to make sure he was still asleep. I figured I didn’t need to be so cautious now that he was on his stomach, face buried almost fully into the mattress. I angled myself to peek through the tiniest crack in the door, waiting to see Tal’kka and G’wala walk past, or hear the small tap of Tal’kka’s cane. I gave it a few more minutes once I saw them pass before returning to the hall. I tried my best to get out as quickly as possible without looking too suspicious. I focused on the door, ignoring any and all eyes and calls for my attention, I slapped away or stepped out of reach of any wandering hands.

The sun was barely still on the horizon, and I thought this was a terrible idea the farther I walked into the dark street lined with stalls. There were throngs of people pushing me and pushing past me, vendors slowly lighting crystal lamps and beginning to hawk their wares. I was getting farther and farther from the inn, my small stature not doing me any favors in trying to forge my own path ahead, or to turn around and go back as the fear of not being with an escort becoming suffocating. I dodged thin tails that ended sharp points and furry ones alike, feather filled wings, and stepping over large snake tails to make a diagonal across the crowd. I was pushed to the edges and outside of the crowd as a gap was formed for some important person.

A smaller crowd of people carried me a little deeper into the alley I had spit into, finally letting me go as they walked into some sort of establishment. Before I had the chance to get my bearings, I felt hands on my arm, tightening the more I tried to pull free and kick. Another hand grabbed my other arm, squeezing so hard it went numb. They pulled me deeper into the alley and I thought this was it. I would die here, in a dingy little alley in the dark, taken advantage of and murdered. I felt fear rise up in my throat at the thought of it. I had wanted to go by my own hand, where Noa would find me, and he could see what everything he put me through culminated into. Instead of anything poking me, or the feel of cold steel, I felt cloth over my face. I spit at it, trying to get it away from my mouth, biting the hand that pushed it against my skin. I tasted and smelled blood. I struggled until my body stopped doing what I told it, reminding me of the poison Aya fed me. I half expected to see the swirling colors once more instead of a deeper darkness.