When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw the House Director observing as several brothers carried a sobbing girl on a bed, heading out the door. “Hey Ron, where are they taking that girl?” He said with a puzzled eyebrow raised. 

“They’re taking her back to her dorm room. When I told her there was no shot that we would be together, she completely went into a starfish position on my bed. Get this, she is studying to become an actual starfish.” I said, putting my arm through the other strap of my bookbag. 

“A starfish, you say. You can’t be serious,” he asked, trying not to laugh.

“I wish I was kidding. Apparently, her research will allow her to undergo a full on metamorphosis. The good person in me was about to tell her she was throwing her life away, but she changed my mind when we did the devil’s tango.” I remarked. 

“Oh, I get it—you turned her from a starfish into a seahorse. Well-played, brother!” Excited, the House Director lifted his hand and went for a high five. 

I slowly gave him a high-five and said, “No, she is fully committed to her starfish role. That’s why they're carrying her out. I have to say, it’s pretty admirable how she shows such commitment to her craft.”

“Well, that blows. Anyway, make sure the pledges bring the bed back by 12:00 pm. I want the house to be spotless before the Pregame Olympics can begin for tonight’s formal.” The House Director said, walking towards the kitchen. 

“Aye aye captain, I will get it done.” I said, saluting him and walking out of the front door.

Walking to the library, I wondered where I would find a date for the night. I was hoping I could’ve taken Sarah, but that was a complete bust. My stomach screamed a large cranky noise that interrupted my train of thought. Changing course, I went to the school cafeteria to see what they were making for breakfast.

They were serving their famous breakfast burgers today, the ultimate nutritional breakfast. Tray loaded with my burger and fries, I searched for somewhere to sit. A girl caught my eye, eating alone in the crowded cafeteria. It felt like fate was giving me a gentle nudge. “Hello, I’m Ron. Is it okay if I sit across from you?” ‌I said, placing my tray down on the table. 

The girl looked up from her phone. “Well, of course. My name is Becky, and it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said, putting her phone on the table and extending her hand. 

I shook her hand and pulled out the chair to take a seat. “Do you have any plans tonight?” I asked. 

“No, I was just going to study. But I just heard there's a formal happening tonight. I might go, although isn’t it weird to have it on a Sunday?” 

“Well, this is the number one-party school in the country; that means rain, snow, or alien invasion. We’re going to party.” I said. She blurted out, laughing, and I smirked. “You must be going with your boyfriend tonight. Are you guys color coordinating?”

“Oh, I don’t have a boyfriend. I was planning to go with some friends.” Becky said, flicking her hair off her shoulders. 

“That just won’t do. You can’t slow dance with your friends." I said, crossing my arms and shaking my head "Why don’t you go with me tonight, so you have a dance partner?”

“Okay, that was pretty smooth. Wait, how tall are you?” Becky asked. 

“I’m 5’9”. Why?” I answered.

“Oh, that won’t do; maybe if you were at least 6 feet, I would have considered it. I like to wear heels and it's such a huge ick if the guy I’m with is shorter than me.” Becky packed up her things and stood up. “Maybe you should drink some milk or get that leg extension surgery.” Becky said, walking away. 

That usually only happens on dating apps. What a strange woman. Now alone, I continued to eat my burger. The new Smash Brothers game had attracted a lively bunch to the cafeteria's big screen, controllers passing between eager players. Without hesitation, I grabbed my tray, walked over and added my name to the list of challengers.

Three hits was all it took - that Kirby player was a master. My character became a shooting star across the screen, and the match was over before I even warmed up. Taking my defeat like a man, I shouldered my bag and headed to the library with what little dignity I had left.