I flop back onto the bed and close my eyes. My thoughts are a turmoil of conflicting emotions and I need to calm down and think things through a bit.

First, Evan already linked me in a video from the first day of the cruise, when we were at Fingal’s Cave. We only had dinner at the same table and barely even knew each other. Why was he singling me out in a video and when did he look up my Instagram. Actually, how did he even know my surname to find me on Instagram?

I knew he was filming when we were walking on Skye, but I had no idea that I was in the video. He was walking behind me for much of the trek though and I was probably too deep into my own photography to notice anything that he was doing. Then I tripped, we kissed and I don’t remember much until we got back down to the hotel.

I’ve spent most of my life keeping to myself. Not some sort of recluse, but fairly private and quiet. It suits me and my job when I’m not in any way a high-profile person. Peter tried to draw me into his louder, brasher world, but I resisted when I could. Do I want to be even Instagram famous? Do I like Evan enough to accept that I’ll be seen on social media more than I’m currently comfortable with?

There still seem to be more questions than answers here and I’m not sure just how serious I should be when thinking about it all. Yet, when I’m prepared to be calm and level-headed about it, I really do like him. I like being with him, talking to him and, yes, I do like kissing him.

He’s… Well, let’s be honest here, he’s hot. He’s just toned enough to be really hard and strong, but not full of muscles. He is tall and has a nice face and he has the most brilliant blue eyes that I’ve ever seen. Oh, and he’s impressively well endowed, not that that is of primary importance.

As I drift off into a light sleep, I seem to have decided that we just need to see what happens. He does need to be shouted at a bit though. Well, maybe just a stern talking to.

When the knocking at my cabin door wakes me from a deeper sleep than I intended, I’m a little disorientated for a few moments. A quiet voice from outside the door calls out as I get to my feet. “Adam, are you in there?”

I put on my best poker face as I open the door and gesture for Evan to come in. I remain silent as I indicate the small armchair with a pointing finger.

“Adam, is something wrong?” Evan looks and sounds genuinely concerned.

I take a seat on the edge of the bed opposite him and just stare blankly at him for a few moments before uttering a single word. “Instagram.”

“Oh.”

“That’s it, just ‘Oh’?” I ask him in my best impression of a teacher talking to a naughty schoolboy.

“I’m so sorry. I never even gave it a thought. I link people all the time in my posts. You know, whenever I meet people on these trips. You didn’t want me to?”

“I don’t know. I would have liked to be asked though. How did you even find out my surname?”

“I asked our waiter.”

“Oh.”

“Adam, I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I guess I’m just usually surrounded by people who are more socially active online.”

“Evan, I’m not hurt, just a little bit overwhelmed. I’m just not used to this whole being seen by hundreds of thousands of people thing.”

“I can see how that might take a bit of adjustment. Do you think you can get used to it?”

“Do you think I need to?”

“No, not if you don’t want to. But I do like you and people are already linking us together.”

“This is exactly my point. I don’t think that I want my life to be lived in front of a camera. I prefer being behind the lens.”

“Adam, I don’t know what to say or do here. I am truly sorry that I included you in those posts, but I didn’t think it would cause any problems.”

“Evan, I don’t know either. Let’s just put it all to one side and give me a chance to think about how I feel with the whole celebrity thing.”

“Okay, I promise to ask you for permission from now on.”

“Good. Oh, for the record, I like you too.”

“Well, on that happier note, can we actually do some work here now?”

“Yes. Did you bring your video footage?”

“It’s on this thumb drive. Have you got your laptop ready?”

“No. I fell asleep. Just give me a few seconds, it’s right here on charge.”

As Evan watches my laptop boot, he seems a little taken back by the speed. “God, that’s a powerhouse, isn’t it.”

“Oh, I thought all MacBooks were super-fast?”

“Yes, but that’s the fastest windows laptop I think I’ve ever seen. Do you need that much power?”

“Not very often, but once in a while I need to do some analysis on the road and then the more power the better. The rest of the time, it’s just amazing for Photoshop. It borders on being too heavy for travelling with on a plane sometimes, but I’m not buying a lightweight one just for a trip every year or so.”

“I love your wallpaper. Did you take that one as well?”

“He’s one of my favourites. A big tusker in Ngorongoro crater in Tanzania.”

“I didn’t know there were any left with tusks like that. I thought the poachers had them all.”

“Not quite. In highly protected places like down inside the crater, they’re still safe. He was old, calm and bloody huge. Easily twelve feet tall with five-foot tusks.”

“We’ll get distracted. Show me the current stuff, please.”

We spend the next hour or so looking at my photographs and some of Evan’s video. He asks to take a few photos of the major landmarks to add into the video he’s preparing and I comment on the quality of the video that his mirrorless camera is capable of.

“You don’t shoot in any fancy colour space or anything then?” I ask him as we are browsing through some footage of his day ashore in Kirkwall.

“No. Honestly it would just take too long to edit and I don’t do the sort of editing that needs to be precisely colour-matched for every cut. You seem to know more about video than I would have guessed for a still-image photographer.” He tells me.

“I suppose so. I’ve always been interested in the mechanics of it, just never found a subject that I feel needs to be recorded rather than captured. I never do anything fancy with the setting for stills either. I have it permanently on automatic white balance and the defaults for colour rendering. I don’t even shoot raw.”

“On a not really related tangent, how is your hip?”

“Very much better. I have some pain-killing cream and had a long soak in the hot-tub. I think that’s why I fell asleep earlier. I was totally relaxed.”

“So, do you think you’ll be going ashore tomorrow?”

“To Inverness? Yes, I hope so. I want to see the Loch and Urquhart Castle.”

“Would you like to go together, then?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to be in the videos, really.”

“No, I think I have a solution to that problem.”

“Oh, what sort of solution. Going to make me wear a mask or a bag over my head?”

“Well, I want to try something a little different. Do you think you could help me tomorrow. Maybe do a bit of work behind the camera for me?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a cameraman. I don’t want to mess everything up for you. You’ll only get one chance for this.”

“It would add a new dimension to my production. I’ve a hand-held gimbal and I just fancy trying some tracking shots, particularly at the castle. I promise to still give you plenty of time for photos as well. I’ll also shoot plenty of conventional stuff in case we mess things up. There’s no shortage of memory cards anyway.”

“Well, okay, but you have to buy me lunch. I’m not working for free.”

“Great. Let’s give it a try and see what we think for a day. It’ll be a learning experience for both of us.

“On the subject of eating, get off out and get ready for dinner. It’s already seven.”

“Shit, where did the afternoon go. Time has really flown.”

“Go on, I need a shower and I need to change. Being cute takes time and effort.”

“It’s worth every minute,” Evan calls from the door as he closes it behind himself gently.

When I open the door to my cabin in response to a gentle knock at just a couple of minutes before eight, I’m surprised to see Evan has come to collect me.

“Oh, trying to score boyfriend points?”

“Hmm…” He murmurs as he leans down to kiss me gently. “Boyfriend sounds very nice. Do I get the points anyway?”

“Yes, I think so. I’ll try and think of a suitable prize if you score high enough tonight.”

“Good. I always respond better to the carrot than to the stick. Are you ready to go?” he asks, holding out his arm for me.

“Another easy point,” I mutter as I slide my hand down his arm and link hands.

Evan is going all-out for points and helps me to get seated when we arrive at our usual table. He orders a nice bottle of wine to go with the meal instead of us having our usual G&Ts and the food is, as always, excellent.

“Would you like to see the show after dinner?” He asks as we start on our desserts.

“Oh, the full-scale cruise experience?”

“Well, we have paid for the whole thing, haven’t we? It’s just some live music, I think.”

“Actually, that sounds very nice. Just the sort of thing you’d do on a second date.”

“And, I’ll promise to have you home by eleven.”

“Okay, shall we go and find a good table then?”

“Yes, why not.” Still working on his points tally, Evan eases my chair back and offers me his hand once more. “It is a little early. How about a quick walk around the promenade deck?”

“Yes, that sounds nice.”

Once on deck, we stand at the rail and watch the rugged coast just south of John o’Groats slide slowly past. It’s much less spectacular than the west coast, but the gently rolling landscape and low rocky shore is restful in the dying light.

Evan draws me close for a long deep kiss, hands still clasped together and his other arm round my waist. The evening air is cool as we steam along, but Evan is warm and comfortable. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asks me as we break apart and start to walk back to the elevator. “You seem deep in thought.”

“I was thinking that I could get used to this.” I reply as I lift our clasped hands up to show him. When he hasn’t got a camera in his hand, everything about being with Evan feels so comfortable and relaxed.

None of my other relationships have ever started out like this. I’ve always felt so out of place with other guys. Felt as if I have to do something extra to fit in better with them and their circles. There’s the issue of Evan and his video world still in the back of my mind, but I’m no longer convinced that I don’t fit in with that in some way. At the very least, I know that I can just keep out of it.

Even sitting with him watching the show seems so very nice that I find myself smiling in his direction far too often. The singer is good, with a nice expressive voice and the songs are familiar and easy-listening enough to keep the whole audience happy. It really feels like it has been so long since I had a simple and relaxing good time with good company.