Currently I’m having a drama sequence laying out in real time.

It was about this big argument between me and a close friend and it’s just a super long story that I won’t explain. I’ll just summarise it:

At assembly today, I just wanted to sit with Ellis because they called me over to sit with them. I knew that Lin hated Ellis I was going to sit with. We did come to a compromise earlier in the year, but I guess something I did had pissed them off?

I’m on a call with Willow and trying to figure out what the heck is going on. At the same time, we’re working on a science report that’s due on Monday. Personally, it’s quite anxiety inducing as we’re trying to make light of a not so serious situation that, frankly, is quite stupid and childish now that I think about it.

I just got the final message back and…

I.

Am.

A.

Fucking.

Coward.

I’m just a dumb little kid who’s too scared of the world.

I’m not even properly functioning.

I can’t say one fucking word.

And it’s ruined my life.

It’s ruined,

So

Many.

Damn.

Lives.

And you know what?

I can’t change anything.

The damage has been done.

And I’ve lost my chance.

I don’t listen.

I don’t learn.

I’m just a small, weak coward,

Who can’t say no.