Have you ever stayed in the dark with no thought, or you just getting lost in all the problems pilling up in the useless effort to clean just a little but ending up adding more. Hours passing like slide shows on an old camera, for what I’m not sure because I try to solve a thing resulting in that thing making me not want to do it, to avoid it or stay in bed until the day goes away with all the check lists I had to mark. Why? I wanted to do them. Why not? I found excuses not to.
“Not so important”
“Last on my to-do-list”
“I can do it tomorrow”
Forget what hurts when you find another similar situation like it won’t just come back when you need them less.
Reset button, please, for the mistakes that are so obvious you could avoided if in the right state of mind, because you shouldn’t show it to anyone you have a bad day. Not that they would ask, everyone has other things to deal with so is easy to miss the signs.
Numb to the point you have to remember what you do anything for, too many auto-pilot actions to know when they started, which are a defense mechanism against reality, and which are survival instincts.
Either on one end of the spectrum of happiness where you can smile for real, and be considered a fool like you don’t care about anything, or on the other end where you can be afraid of happiness, of something you might have never felt or forgot how to achieve when the term itself is ambiguous.
No point in looking over the garden wall of everyone around you, hopelessly trying to fill that emptiness you might feel when you see a difference.
Is “Me, Myself and I” not “Them, She and He”. Nobody can pull you out of your own mind maze even if you think they are your savior, will forever be trapped until a new route is tried.
Test the waters, feel something beyond the pain we always expect to come.
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No idea how your day/week/month was, sometimes you just have to express to unstress. Up to you, like pretty much anything you want to do. What’s really stopping you?
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