It’s so close to being the end of the day.

Sitting in Science and typing this which listening to music is strangely relaxing. The music is loud enough that I can just shut out the world and everyone else and immerse myself in my writing as my fingers dance across the keyboard, writing my story.

I can’t believe it’s only Tuesday. It feels like Friday. Just the vibes of the third to last week of term is really calming for some reason. Even though I have a presentation due tomorrow and a billion other things to do, I feel strangely calm.

It's probably just the music making me feel calmer than I actually am. My heart is stressing out while my mind isn’t it’s a weird feeling but I’m not new to it. My mind feels strangely clear.

I cried in counselling today. It was only a few tears because I’m still nervous about crying in front of others. It was the first time I cried in counselling. I usually never cry. I guess these past 2 weeks really have been as shitty as I thought. Problem is, I still have so much more to say, but the more I speak, the more I forget, and the situation gets awkward. It annoys me that I can’t keep up proper conversations with others.

I told my counsellor that I think I’m autistic and she said that it was most likely because of my childhood trauma that I was experiencing symptoms like autism. I agree with her, it’s probably that but I’m still thinking of getting a diagnosis some time in the future.

I don’t know yet though, I’ll just wait and see.