Point of view of the Amalgam:
"They used to tell me: Look into the abyss, and it will look back at you — I didn't believe it — until it consumed me. No matter how lonely we are, we will always become increasingly bitter if it persists: Not even Existence tolerated living alone in the vastness of the abyss — what about us? In the same way, that's how life and everything that exists was made: so that loneliness would never again touch the cosmos with its shadows... And the phrase continues, of course."
The voice resonated in cosmogenesis, deep and serene amidst the vast darkness. A cold shiver ran down my spine as I found myself back in that tortuous garden of my first experience with magic, materializing before me. "Who... Who said that?" I questioned, stuttering with fear.
"Do not fear yourself, Kiel. We are one now."
The four tall, black trees stood, decrepit, their leaves and forms betraying an ancient decay. Each tree seemed to represent something different.
The first tree, to my left, emanated black sparks, bubbles from the leaves, and floating spores. It seemed to blend into a myriad of different textures on its dark trunk, with no specific pattern. It seemed alive in a bizarre and unsettling way.
I walked, following the arc of the circumference that marked the tormented ground, until I reached the second tree. This one was twisted like a thunderbolt, the morphology of its branches forming a uniform canopy, in which constant waves made the branches and leaves move like a silent storm.
The third, behind me, trembled. Its structure was in different states, as if one part was liquid, another solid, and the last gaseous, blending in an unsettling dance of matter and energy. It was a disconcerting sight, as if nature itself were in constant conflict.
The last tree.
My heart pounded erratically as I approached the largest tree, at the center of all this. Each step I took felt like an irresistible call, as if my destiny lay there. Finally, when I got close enough, I reached out, feeling the flexibility and resistance against my skin.
Nothing happened.
This was not an earthly tree, I hadn't realized before... it was as if it were... it was... It was an aquatic plant, with its body flexible and wet. Extending chaotically into a black void in a dark liquid that lost its transparency the deeper one looked. Its shape was more like a terrestrial tree, but it resembled algae reaching upward in a cylindrical spiral around the plant.
I sighed, looking at the plant and feeling calmer, but the sense of unease soon returned as a growing pressure hit the ambient atmosphere, as if the volume and density of the air were transforming to crush me.
"It... It is the abyss. I vaguely remember, the tree of entropy, the opposite of creation: disorder and chaos personified in our ability to control Primordial Energy," said a voice behind me.
I stumbled and accidentally hit the aquatic tree, startled to see what was in front of me.
There was a black sphere floating a few meters from me. In its center, a huge eye, like the one I had seen in my previous memory lapse, watched me. The red, dilated pupil, surrounded by a dark-toned iris, seemed to penetrate directly into my soul.
"Our soul," it said, rotating the halo around its eye.
Terrified, I asked, "What are you?"
"You, us," it replied.
"I don't understand!" I responded, anguished and restless.
"We are an amalgam of two consciousnesses, or souls — whichever you prefer. You and I are Kiel. Your memories are mine. When we merged, we created a single, unique consciousness that encompasses both, whose will was diluted in both. However, they detach a bit when you sleep. The truth is, you think you reincarnated, when, in fact, it was me, but also you, because we are one. Let's say I'm more of our cold and unfriendly part. Thus, the false and true holder of this mind that is also yours. The child and the creature that inhabit the same body," it said, rotating the halo around the sphere it was.
"I don't understand anything!" I exclaimed, frowning.
"If you dreamed about this, it means you are definitely fit to use magic and its trees. But, as I am your wiser part, I decided it would be better to warn you: our meditations and attempts at energy control have paid off over the past few years, activating our Arcanobody and its organs. Therefore, we must recover our knowledge: understand reality, which we once understood, to practice magic as in our days of glory." The sphere paused and began to unexpectedly shrink in size.
The environment began to flicker and darken, also vibrating as if something had changed.
"Our time is running out. Before that happens, I must warn you that our 'mother' didn't tell you everything about magic. As you noticed, each tree represents a type of knowledge, but we must be careful, this one behind us, the largest and different, can grant much power. However, it is the abyss: it perverts the gifts of reality and numbs creation. Its knowledge brings loneliness and a grave, the more it is used, the deeper it will be. There may come a point where it is impossible to escape the temptation, like an addiction to it, leading to hatred and destruction... If I were to give it a name, it would be Abyssal Magic. We must restrict ourselves to the others, for our own good. And of course, the most important thing, to rebuild this place, flourishing our mind." I felt as if everything the sphere said had been said by me, and I didn't feel like concluding or saying anything more.
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"Brotherrrrrrrrr, wake up!"
I woke up with a jolt, almost having a heart attack due to my sister's loud, shrill scream. The sound shattered my sleep, leaving me deeply stressed.
"Evelyn, do you really need to scream so loud?" I grumbled, frowning.
Rubbing my eyes as I sat up in bed, the images of the black trees and the mysterious voice were still fresh in my mind, like lingering shadows. I looked around the room, trying to ground myself in reality by blinking several times.
Our room was relatively new. We had gotten it a while ago, after several renovations to the house. The walls were made of black wood, decorated with drawings of trees and geometric carvings that Evelyn and I had made together. Two mattresses side by side, but hers was already made, both with colorful quilts that Nina had sewn. Between the beds, there was a light green fluffy rug.
Evelyn jumped next to me, clearly excited and impatient. Her eyes sparkled with excitement, and her short, lavender-white hair was messy, as usual. "You promised you'd go to the spring with me today!"
I frowned, trying to remember any promise. "Promised? I don't remember promising anything," I said, trying to sift through my sleep-fogged memory.
"You did promise!" She crossed her arms and pouted, her eyes filling with tears that threatened to spill.
I sighed deeply. I knew she wouldn't give up so easily, but I just didn't want to walk that far. "I refuse; I never said I would take you there."
"You promised me! Liar," she said, almost crying, which made me genuinely feel sorry for her.
"Okay, okay. I'll take you there."
She immediately flashed a radiant smile, her eyes shining again. "You'll see, it's going to be fun!" she said, jumping and clapping, showing that she had put on a little act.
"Mom is calling you to eat, you're the last one," she affirmed, pulling me.
"Yes, let's go then," I replied, looking at the energetic 5-year-old.
We went downstairs together, the smell of fresh coffee and baked bread greeting us on the lower floor. The wooden floor creaked under our feet, reminding us that despite the renovations, our house still had the old soul of Néfo architecture.
Outside, our 'parents,' Ari and Aidan, were already seated at the makeshift low table in the garden that my father had planted. The smell of Shelis, wild berries from Gaélia, and hot pastries filled the air. The table was set with a blue linen tablecloth, metal plates, and a basket of grains, as well as pots of milk.
"Good morning, children," said Ari with a warm smile. Her hair was tied up in a neat bun, and she had her usual casual expression. "Sit down, breakfast is ready."
I sat next to Evelyn and tried to find something I wanted among the foods, but there was nothing I liked except for the milk. When I noticed, everyone was already eating.
Ari, uneasy that I wasn't eating, intervened, "Kiel, are you going to refuse to eat again because there's no meat? We can't get meat every day on a mountain."
"That's not it, Mom, look." I reluctantly grabbed some Shelis and started eating.
I began to chew the Shelis, trying to hide my lack of enthusiasm. The taste was very sweet, and the texture was fine, but I didn't want it; I missed the meat. I looked around the table and noticed that silence prevailed among us, which was unusual; even Evelyn was quiet as she ate. What happened...
Aidan, my father, was focused on meticulously cutting the fruits on his plate. Evelyn, beside me, was calmly eating her carbohydrate-rich pastry. The silence was heavy for the situation, and the sound of chewing was loud due to the lack of conversation.
I sighed internally, wishing there was something to break the monotony. The tranquility that would normally be comforting to me today felt like just another burden; in fact, I don't feel like I did years ago.
"Why is everyone so quiet?" I asked, trying to start a conversation.
Aidan looked up for a moment, hesitating before responding. "I was waiting for someone to speak."
"Me too," said Evelyn, chewing.
"Evelyn, don't talk with your mouth full," Aidan reprimanded, not rudely.
"Oh dear, do you remember the day Kiel fell out of bed when he was a baby, and I almost went crazy with you?" exclaimed my 'mother.'
So many things to be said, and she brings this up? I remember that day very well; I tried to escape from bed and ended up falling and getting hurt and being caught again: but Aidan took the blame. Before Aidan could say anything, I interjected and brought up something I always wanted to know. "That's not a good topic, Mom!" I continued, "Something good would be to know about the future, how long are we staying here?"
"I don't know, son, we think about that sort of thing, but it's not that simple. Maybe another year or two? Until you're ten, maybe," she responded, assuming a questioning posture and putting her hand on her cheek.
"Oh yes, and there was that time Kiel stepped on a chorum plant and smelled so bad it took days for the smell to go away completely, remember?" said my 'father' enthusiastically.
"Yes, I remember," she responded, laughing fervently, "I had to bathe him for hours hahaha."
Very funny for you, Aidan, who doesn't have a hypersense of smell.
"Has the conversation turned to talking about my embarrassments?" I asked, uncomfortable with the direction of the dialogue.
"Yes, there was also the time he broke a Vispos nest," Evelyn concluded.
Even you, usurper, this is blasphemy; has this meal turned into a roasting session?
"Even you, Evelyn?" I asked, trying to hide my discomfort with a forced smile. "Has this meal turned into a roasting session?"
"Oh, Kiel, we're just reminiscing about funny moments," replied my 'mother,' still laughing. "It's part of family memories."
Aidan let out a short laugh, relaxing a bit more. "We need these moments to remind us that we have reasons to smile."
I sighed, realizing there was no escape from the embarrassing stories. "Okay, but maybe we can talk about something else now?"
Evelyn, still chewing, nodded in agreement. "Like what?"
"Evelyn, don't talk with your mouth full," both our 'parents' briefly criticized at the same time.
"How about talking about what everyone wants to do in the future? What would you like to do when you grow up, Evelyn?" asked our 'mother.'
Evelyn swallowed her food and answered excitedly. "I want to be an adventurer, just like the heroes in the stories Dad tells! I want to explore the world and find hidden treasures in ancient ruins, like that one." She finished, pointing to the black tower on the horizon.
Ari looked uncomfortable, always showing the same reactions, as if she didn't want us to go on these ventures involving magic, adventures, and radical things. "Evelyn..." she paused for a moment and continued, "And you, Kiel? Have you thought about what you want to do when you grow up?"
I hesitated, never having thought much beyond the present. "I... I think I want to... um..." I didn't finish.
Aidan nodded, proud. "That's a good goal, Kiel. With dedication, you can achieve great things," he said, laughing sarcastically, drawing a disapproving look from Ari, who didn't like the joke at all.
The atmosphere around the table seemed lighter now, with everyone sharing their dreams and hopes. The embarrassing stories were forgotten, at least for now, replaced by a sense of unity and optimism.
"So, Aidan," my 'mother' asked, with a sparkle in her eyes, "what are your plans for the future?"
Aidan laughed. "My future is simple: I want to keep taking care of you all and make sure you have everything you need."
My mother smiled, satisfied with the answer. "That sounds perfect to me."
And so, the conversation continued more pleasantly, each sharing funny or disastrous moments and memories from our time together. However, a gap grew between us when I seriously thought about the future: I continued to live in this world because of a lie, and even though you all win me over more each day, I still have these feelings that make me want to end this cycle of life and death.
However, they don't know that.
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