By the time the orbs got close enough to land and turn into living creatures, Enoki had at least eaten enough to feel like ze wasn’t about to pass out. By the time the wolves got close with their riders, Enoki was waving the last warm tuber under the knocked out guards’ noses in hopes it might wake them up. The new guard walked over and shook their head. “Honestly, you humans all think with your stomachs. Let me guess, you jumped in hoping that you could get some of the wine for free?”

“No. Technically I fell in and I was going to try and get some help since it was ten against one and a half.” Ze kept waving the tuber. Ze was fairly sure one of them twitched. Maybe they were faking to stay out of this.

“Lady Blaze En’mat is more than half of a person! She is one of our fastest rising members of the holy order!”

Enoki arched hir brow. “Dude, have you seen me compared to any of you? I’m like two—thirds at BEST. And she’s the tallest elf I’ve seen yet. I’m the half. Not her.” Ze turned her head to the groaning guard. “Oop, hey wakey wakey. I got some post nap snacks.”

“They shouldn’t get anything after they fai—”

Lady Blaze’s voice cut in so sharply ze was pretty sure the rest of the word fell on the ground. “That is enough. They did their best. They came very prepared and weren’t fooled by the decoy’s at all. And Mixter Enoki created a situation where we could win.”

The Lady Blaze walked forward, ears twitching upward as the new guard’s lowered. “I, of course, My Lady Blaze. Forgive me.” He bowed, his hands behind his back.

“Prepare to teleport the ones in the wagon. You will not be able to take the cage as it is magically created. Use proper binding spells.” She looked down at the slowly awakening guards, standing at her full 9 feet of height above them. “You will prepare the wolves. I want to be on the trail without stopping within the hour.”

A few semi groggy yes ma’ams coursed around Enoki as everyone set to work. “Shit. Two elf groups and the women always take command.”

“Of course. Without us, the men cannot continue their bloodlines. So we would of course be the ones in charge. Is it not that way for humans?”

“Noooo. Nononono. Being non binary a lot of people wanted to know what was in my pants so they knew what box to stick me in.”

The Lady Blaze knelt down, looking at Enoki sadly. “That is terrible. What did you tell them?”

“Their spare audacity I stole.”

She blinked and laughed long and loud. “Oh goodness. You must have been training to be a jester back home?”

“Not really.” Honestly, Enoki had mostly been coasting through life before getting annoyed at a bunch of online videos putting down food just because it was from another land. Why else would Ze had been an assistant manager at a job ze hated? That wasn’t the issue at hand however. “But ah, can I still hitch that ride? Maybe with you? I kinda need to talk about what you saw.”

“Of course, Mixter Enoki. We can talk as soon as we get going, for privacy. It will be harder for those guarding to listen in.” She gently motioned to those around quickly working away. “For now, rest in the back so you can get. . .  Mcstabby was it?”

“Eh heh. You heard that huh?” Ze rubbed the back of hir head. “That one is in my hand right now. It likes to be pointy things.”

“I see, and the other one’s name?”

“Dunno yet. Seems pretty agreeable. Maybe Bob. Can’t go wrong with Bob in my experience.” Ze turned and went to clean up hir mess as ze talked. “What do you think, Blaze?”

Enoki could almost feel everyone staring at hir from wherever they stood. “Lady Blaze is my title, Mixter Enoki. My name is En’mat.”

Ze winced at that. That was a pet peeve, getting names wrong. “Right. Sorry about that. So Lady Blaze? Lady Blaze En’mat? What should I call you?”

“Let us see where our conversation goes later. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to check on the guards and our bandits.” She quickly walked past and into the back of the wagon, speaking softly to the guards in there. 

Enoki tried to finish cleaning up and put everything back in the pack or the storage room. The other curtain had to wait until the guards were done teleporting the bandits away. At what felt like the half an hour mark, the elves were all in position and Enoki finished getting the second curtain put away. Ze hopped off a barrel just as the Lady Blaze walked into the back of the wagon.

“I believe it will be best if you spoke back here, sacred one.” As she spoke, one of the guards closed the wagon doors and locked it from the outside. 

This feels like the start of an adult film now. Enoki sat down, a bit nervous. Again, there was no real argument ze could make for this. “Right. That’s fine. I mean it’ll be more private.”

Lady Blaze’s ears twitched a moment as the wagon lurched forward. “We will be moving until morning. It will also be easier for you to sleep in here as well. Now. Sacred one. Please share what you can about the will of the gods.”

Enoki bit hir lip a bit. Ze didn’t really want to lie. It always caused more trouble than it was worth. “First, I don’t think I’m a sacred one. I’m just Enoki.”

Her brow arched a bit. “Really? Then the gold?”

“Ok. So I was given a job by the gods, but I’m not sure how much I should say. Apparently the stories say it can be bad. But I’m not from here exactly. And I just, I have to make some special meals and things, and that includes a melomel made with some specific things from the elves.”

“You are making holy offerings? It has been so long! You must be a great chef.”

“Ehhh,” Enoki wobbled hir hand from side to side. “I don’t think I’m that good but they think I’m the person for the job. So there we go.” 

“Well, I will be happy to help you and your quest to find the perfect melomel, Sacred one.” She started to look excited, her ears popping up. “Oh, there is the East side market. The Golden Cellar. Oh! Of course my father is in town and he may have some lovely leads.”

Ze couldn’t help but chuckle at how giddy The Lady Blaze was getting. “Ok, ok. But I have some specific items I have to use. And when you hear what they are you might get mad. So I’d rather not.”

“But I should serve your wishes as a god chosen.”

Enoki frowned. “Fuck that. I’ve been this. . .  Whatever for like, two days. I didn’t earn it. I’m gonna do my best but I’m no better than you. I mean, you dedicated yourself to your temple for ages. At best we are equals.”

The Lady Blaze shifted a bit, seeming to ponder this. “Well, then. We are equals. As my equal, you may call me by my name and not title.”

Enoki held out hir hand. “Deal, En’mat. But you better call me Enoki back. And if we’re equals I expect you to call me on my shit.”

“Very well. But I am certain you won’t have anything to call you out on.” She carefully took Enoki’s hand. As they shook, Enoki could see a small blue flame travel down hir own arm and then up En’mat’s. It made a small shape of a feather before disappearing.

“I, wha?” Ze rubbed her eyes a moment, blinking.

She frowned, checking for offense. “Did I grab it incorrectly? Humans can be odd in their traditions.”

Shaking hir head, Enoki started going into hir backpack. Maybe ze was tired? Sometimes it felt like ze saw things that weren’t quite there. Like when ze was with the gods. Maybe a form of madness. Or seeing past glamors? Either way, ze was too tired for this right now.

“Good. Now I brought a few things to go over since I knew you wished to enter the city.” En’mat turned to get a map out. “We should really plan out exactly where you are going to go. How much time do you have to do your full quest?”

As En’mat looked back, Enoki was already half in hir bedroll. “I um, 389 days. Drinks. Seven courses.” Another yawn escaped hir lips. “One from each of the races. . .  Can we finish this talk later?”

“You— Enoki I must be fully informed and you might sleep until we get there. It will be harder to talk privately.”

“But I got stabbed. And made extra holey. Then less holey.”

“You terrified some bandits so badly they soiled themselves.” She put a hand on her hip. “A few minutes will be of great help.”

“That’s what the smell was. . .  Poor Bob had to deal with that too.” Ze let out a breath. “Ok, I'll talk till I sleep. But I had a long day and a big meal.” Ze snuggled deeper into the bedroll.

“Alright. But this is a foolish way to run a quest you know. After all, if I am missing information, then you could get hurt later.”

“Right, right. Ok. First, the gods are hangry I guess and want a whole ass feast.” Enoki allowed hirself to close hir eyes as ze spoke. Hopefully ze’d pass out before it was time to talk about cursed things.