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The Reincarnated Shapeshifter’s Godly Feast

Chapter 13- Tenderize The Hero

Chapter 13- Tenderize The Hero

Sep 05, 2024

At some point between blessed fruits and evil trees, Enoki drifted off into a dreamless sleep. A small blessing since, honestly, ze didn’t want to have any dreams right now. Everything was too weird. And there was the chance this was some sorta crazy dream as it was. No need for dreams in dreams. As it was, Enoki was so tired ze almost didn’t catch the fact the wolves had gotten impatient and lept over part of the drawbridge to hurry and get inside. 

Not until ze found hirself about 2 feet in the air with En’mat leaning over hir to hold back the barrels that had started to tilt over.

“Wha? OOF!” The hard landing woke hir up better than coffee would have. It hurt like hell, but ze was probably fine. 

En’mat looked down a bit annoyed. “Could you move or help, please?” A few more bounces shifted the barrels again as Enoki scrambled out of the bedroll, getting up to help hold them up. 

Ze did not get stabbed for these things to break now. Enoki closed hir eyes, thinking of hir favorite cartoons. The ones where the characters would extend arms and act like a slingshot. Quickly, ze flung one hand to one side of the wagon and one hand to the other side of it and held on tight. “What is going on?”

En’mat raised one ear and listened. “We have very determined bandits. They came back with reinforcements and are following us into the city.”

“Ok, so what’s more important? Stopping them or the barrels?” Enoki stretched forward at the next hard bounce. Ze could hear the panicked cries of people in the early morning street. This couldn’t be good at all.

“I can get the barrels down but we’re locked in if you recall.” En’mat jerked her head to the wooden doors, still locked with a crack of sunlight being let in. 

“Can you do something if you can get out?”

“Of course! I just need line of sight. The smoke spell last time stopped me.”

“Then move the barrels fast.” Ze grimaced as a sharp turn stretched hir arms hard. “Very fast!”

Without a word, En’mat held up her hands, letting out a note as at least a dozen fiery talons appeared. The talons swooped down, grabbed the barrels, and swiftly moved them so they were down to a single layer. Enoki quickly climbed on top, bending and flopping around as ze scrambled like an octopus towards the door gap. En’mat seemed to catch on: she started to climb around trying to secure everything while getting knocked around. 

Enoki hoped this worked better than it felt. Ze carefully squished through the gap, head first so ze could see what they were dealing with. All ze could see from here was 5 riders on what looked like moose sized stags. Two had a crossbow, and one seemed to be preparing a spell. That orc’s runes were a bright red along its blue skin. 

“That’s probably bad. En’mat! There’s a spell caster. I’m gonna try something. Be ready when the doors open.” Ze shouted as most of hir body started squishing between the door and the bar holding it shut. 

There was no telling what En’mat was saying as there was too much shouting and screaming. Plus the orc’s spell looked like it was getting stronger as laughter started being heard all around them. Enoki instinctively looked up. 

“You need to keep your followers in line if you want that drink later.” 

Getting a lack of answer from the heavens, ze inhaled as deeply as they could, forcing the air where most of their body was. It was almost a question of what would break first, the doors or the bar. The sudden snap of the bar almost caught Enoki off guard. With that, hir body quickly released the air behind hir, forcing it forward like a balloon someone let go. Before anyone could react, Enoki slammed into the orc and landed on the stag. Sitting face to face with the far larger spell caster, ze quickly got hir body back to normal. 

“Hi. I’m here about your steed’s extended warranty.” Ze quickly threw a punch and shook hir hand. “Owww. . .  your mom made sure you ate your veggies, huh?”

“Hand grew them. Now, little freak?” He pulled back to throw his own punch. “Get off.”

A small warmth and weight could be felt in hir left hand. Bob decided to jump in and form a nice small shield. Perfect. 

“Get off? You didn’t even take me out to dinner.” Ze quickly raised it up, and was very glad ze did. That hit sent shock waves through hir body that made it feel like hir bones wanted to be dust now.

“You’re the one getting into a very personal hand to hand combat.” He threw another punch, a grin peeking around the shield. “My boss pays better than the elves. We could go to a nice fighting ring.”

“Wait, are we flirting? I wanted witty banter not dinner and a movie! But if you wanna fall for me anyway,” Ze willed Bob to increase in size and slammed the shield into his body. It wasn’t enough to knock him out but it was enough to knock him off.

“GUH!” He rolled off and into the legs of one of the other steeds causing it to stumble and fall. 

Enoki looked around, gripping on to the back of the saddle. There were two archers left. And it looked like there were a few along the side. And one Blaze climbing onto the wagon, shouting and scolding as she did.

“You are doing the most stupid and foolhardy thing, you have a mission and you are risking all of it to punch an ORC!”

“Yeah well I— oh shit, I can’t steer!”

The not a moose was starting to panic, it’s formerly tan—ish fur now changing to a bright red as it began to try and shake Enoki off. Ze started to scream a bit, making it panic more and slam into one of the other steeds and knock off an archer. This was not fine. 

This was not fine!

This was not—!

A blue flame was shot off next to Enoki, taking out the other archer. The two on the sides started to slow down, trying to get a better shot at En’mat. Ze was breathing heavily, tired and very hungry, and realizing ze probably couldn’t shift much more until after a good meal. Which meant whatever ze did could hurt a lot. Carefully, ze turned around on the steed as it continued to go hard side to side.

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t like you either.” Carefully grabbing the reins ze cracked them hard. “GO!”

The movement must have been a familiar enough command as it leaped forward and picked up speed. As ze pulled up on the right of the other archer, Enoki grabbed the human by the cloak and pulled hard. Their shot went wild. It was enough to catch En’mat’s attention, and for her to shoot a spell at them next, knocking them off. Two more shots and the bandits seemed to be taken care of. 

“Thank creation! Now, maybe, someone can get me off this thing!”  As it was, Enoki barely felt like ze was hanging on. Especially since the steed had fully realized this wasn’t it’s rider.

As the wagon began to slow down, En’mat reached down and grabbed Enoki’s hand. Ze dangled, the steed continued to run off, causing some chaos as it jumped on top of an overhang and then onto a rooftop, still a very bright red. En’mat got Enoki on the roof of the wagon, where ze looked at hir new and rather upset friend.

“So. The tour needs some work.”

“Your mind needs some work!” She stood up, dangling Enoki by the arm so they could look eye to eye. “You have a task from the gods and you nearly get yourself killed.”

“Ok true. But. He was casting a spell. And possibly flirting with me.”

“Do you even like orcs?”

“I dunno! He’s the first I met and is a criminal. I can’t really base everything on one person. Though he had respect for his mom. He does get points for that.” Enoki gave a small ow as ze was dropped onto the roof.

“You are going to need a full holy escort to get you safely around to meet the races at this rate.” She looked to the distance. “For now, be ready. It is almost time to enter the holy grounds.”

“Cool but, breakfast?” Enoki put a hand on hir growling stomach. “I did save your barrels twice.”

“If they allow it. We have to get the barrels in. Check for damage. I’ll need to make reports. Plus discuss about getting you help for the quest and—”

Another loud growl could be heard.

“En’mat?”

“Yes?”

“I’m gonna bite someone if I don’t eat something soon. God chosen or not, that was a lot of magic things.” Ze held hir stomach a bit more. It really did feel like it was going to eat itself. 

Mo’ton and Li’tiana had warned hir about this, to be fair.

“Ah. Fine. Though you should suffer after how stupid that was.”

**Need something to read while you wait? Check our these other contest entries! Links are in the description.**


joanwiltonrice
Rodimus13

Creator

Yes the Orc will be coming back.
Gotta go rewrite the plot now....
Amaranthine: tapas.io/series/Amaranthine_AF/info
The Day The World Went Away: tapas.io/series/The-Day-The-World-Went-Away/info
The Star's Advent: tapas.io/series/The-Stars-Advent/info

#isekai #shapeshifter #elves #shapeshifting #magic #orcs #bandits #Fight

Comments (6)

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RainbowCat
RainbowCat

Top comment

Comedy Award goes to Enoki for making fights really fun ^^ (and to the author for writing this, of course)

1

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The Reincarnated Shapeshifter’s Godly Feast
The Reincarnated Shapeshifter’s Godly Feast

27.6k views127 subscribers

Enoki was an assistant manager by day and recipe foodie vlogger by night; going out and finding recipes from around the world and how they changed over time. Too bad a goat killed hir. Now a bunch of gods have given an ultimatum: create a blessed and cursed feast in one year or watch as the races of this new world are wiped out. Then ze is dropped into the world with no directions, no explanations of how to use hir shapeshifter or magic items, and a whole lot of people that aren't too sure about Enoki's plan. With an arsenal of jokes and a desire to taste everything once, can Enoki make the feast? Or will it be a cooking fail?
Updates: On Pause
Story by: Hue Write
Cover Art by: My husband <3 Rodimus13 who I make the comic You Are Hue with.Read more
Subscribe

63 episodes

  • Chapter 1- Repurposed Leftovers
    Episode 1 Chapter 1- Repurposed Leftovers
  • Chapter 2- A Crepe Start
    Episode 2 Chapter 2- A Crepe Start
  • Chapter 3 - No Poultry Task
    Episode 3 Chapter 3 - No Poultry Task
  • Chapter 4- Marinating Over This
    Episode 4 Chapter 4- Marinating Over This
  • Chapter 5- All Steamed Up
    Episode 5 Chapter 5- All Steamed Up
  • Chapter 6- Getting Grilled
    Episode 6 Chapter 6- Getting Grilled
  • Chapter 7- A Bit Salty
    Episode 7 Chapter 7- A Bit Salty
  • Chapter 8- Feeling Spoiled
    Episode 8 Chapter 8- Feeling Spoiled
  • Chapter 9- You Are So Rice
    Episode 9 Chapter 9- You Are So Rice
  • Chapter 10- No Time To Wine
    Episode 10 Chapter 10- No Time To Wine
  • Chapter 11 It Slices and Dices
    Episode 11 Chapter 11 It Slices and Dices
  • Chapter 12- A Half Pint
    Episode 12 Chapter 12- A Half Pint
  • Chapter 13- Tenderize The Hero
    Episode 13 Chapter 13- Tenderize The Hero
  • Chapter 14- Flame Broiled
    Episode 14 Chapter 14- Flame Broiled
  • Chapter 15- Lightly Toasted
    Episode 15 Chapter 15- Lightly Toasted
  • Chapter 16 Gently Poached
    Episode 16 Chapter 16 Gently Poached
  • Chapter 17- Sickly Sweet
    Episode 17 Chapter 17- Sickly Sweet
  • Chapter 18- Thank You Honey
    Episode 18 Chapter 18- Thank You Honey
  • Chapter 19- Too Spicy For Me
    Episode 19 Chapter 19- Too Spicy For Me
  • Chapter 20- Noodle Time!
    Episode 20 Chapter 20- Noodle Time!
Ep. 13 Chapter 13- Tenderize The Hero

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Chapter 13- Tenderize The Hero

Chapter 13- Tenderize The Hero

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